Mrs. Garrison:
"Now I, for one, think evolution is a bunch of bullcrap. But I've been told I have to teach it anyway. It was thought up by Charles Darwin and it goes something like this: In the beginning we were all fish. Okay? Swimming around in the water. And then one day a couple of fish had a retard baby, and the retard baby was different, so it got to live. So retard fish goes on to make more retard babies, and then one day, a retard baby fish crawled out of the ocean with its mutant fish hands and it had buttsex with a squirrel or something and made this retard frog squirrel, and then that had a retard baby which was a monkey fish-frog. And then this monkey fish-frog had buttsex with that monkey, and that monkey had a mutant retard baby that screwed another monkey and that made you! So there you go! You're the retarded offspring of five monkeys havin' buttsex with a fish-squirrel! Congratulations!"