This is actually really funny ... in a sick sort of way.
I liked this part:
"While in Milwaukee he learned that his seminary classmate, Gerald Matatics, was going to be absorbed into the Roman Catholic church two weeks later at Easter, 1986. Hahn, who had talked Matatics into Roman Catholicism, could not stand to have him go first, yet Hahn had promised his wife that he would not become a Roman Catholic until 1990. He asked her to pray about releasing him from his promise, and she did so. Hahn and Matatics were both absorbed by the Roman Catholic Church in 1986."
THE BORG!!!!
"...Named Grand Inquisitor? We are not told."
Expecting the comfy chair treatment, eh?