Down here one doesn't pick and choose Catholic churches; one goes to the nearest one available, which is often one distance away. There isn't a single Catholic church or mission in my county. And the priest of the nearest one was just shuffled off after allegations of abuse were made. Even here. Sigh.
These are visible signs of course; the content may still disappoint.
Why can't a monolithic Church assure orthodoxy when a multitude of sects can?
You are painting a picture of American South where Catholic Churches as scarce as polar bears, but Zionist Conspiracy Cells are common as fried catfish. That's fascinating.