LOL. You're just making this up as you go along.
"The Son of man goeth as it is written of him: but woe unto that man by whom the Son of man is betrayed! it had been good for that man if he had not been born." Matthew 26:24
It would have been better for Judas, the "Son of Perdition," that he had never been born. Did Judas birth himself, or is every birth by the will of God?
The fact that Christ sorrows over Judas's fate is an illustration, not a refutation, of His love for Judas.
I recall mentioning this to you a few months ago.
I have no doubt that God loved Judas despite his betrayal.