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Based on your response, I want you to do something, I want to read what this entire post (I know it'll be a chore), and then the following passages:

I Cor 1:18-29; I Cor 3:18-20; I Cor 2 (and park on that chapter, and chew the cud). It'll become plain what I'm talking about after you've read this whole post. Succinctly put: you're trying to discern spiritual truths intellectually, and that's impossible.

I wrote the following before my original response to you. As I indicated, the first thing I did was pray about it. Then I wrote the following. Then I saved it, and wrote what I originally posted to you. Now I feel compelled to post my initial thoughts. Based on your original post, and your subsequent replies, indicates to me that you are seeking Truth. In Isa 1:18, the Lord pleads with us to reason out our salvation. The Lord doesn't want you to check your brains at the door when you become Born Again. Nevertheless, I feel compelled to post my initial commentary at this time in this thread.

Anyways here's what I initially wrote:

Let me preface everything by saying that I'm not sure there's a specific question in your post, but I do detect a need for encouragement, exhortation, edification and nourishment of the soul. The very first thing I did was pray to the Father in His Son's name for guidance in this matter. I pray for the Holy Spirit's blessing and ministering to you, providing the comfort you seek. Furthermore, I ask that I will be a suitable tool in the Spirit's hands, and that you may hear His Word through me, that your head may understand His Word, and that your heart may become convicted of its Truth (the heart can't accept what the head doesn't know).

Your post made me think of the following verse:

As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for You, 0 God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? - Psalm 42:1,2

I wish to draw your attention first of all to Psalms 1:1-3. I firmly believe that for believers to derive comfort from the Word, then they need to be in the Word, and furthermore they need to be in the Word daily. Let me ask you: how's your Quiet Time?

A daily time with God, or a quiet time, is a frequently suggested practice for believers, and yet it is probably the most neglected of all spiritual disciplines. Sunday church attendance? "We've been there." Bible study and tithing? "We've done that." Rememberance of the Lord's suffering, crucifixion, and resurrection at the Lord's Supper, "we regularly take part". But what about a daily quiet time?

The purpose of the Quiet Time is the habitual devotion of a small portion of one's day in the presence of God. The goal of the quiet time is to build a relationship with God. One prepares for quiet time by clearing one's mind of all other thoughts except of God, coming to God alone as an individual, drawing close to God, and expecting to have a fresh encounter with God every day. At home, quiet time could be private time, but it can also be done as a family. Many families do this. Children are raised from their earliest memories that this happens. When the children are too young to understand or participate, then they are given a task (such as coloring) to occupy them where they can be observed by the parent(s), and the parents engage in quiet time. The children are to understand that they are to be quiet.

Daily fellowship with God is vital to the Christian life, and is called many things: quiet time, devotions, morning watch. But to live an effective Christian life, all Christians need to draw on the strength, wisdom and guidance of Jesus Christ. This we do as we take time to get to know Him personally. In utter frankness, Quiet Time doesn't even need to be strictly quiet. A family engaged in devotions or morning watch, sitting at the table before breakfast, can take turns reading verses out of a chapter. Then they can spend time reflecting or discussing as a group the meanings of the various passages that each individual read. Perhaps this can be done at the beginning of the week, and thereafter, Quiet Time is indeed quiet, individual, reflecting on the passages read. The discussion about the passages can be done as a group at the end of the week. What an excellent witness to our children from their earliest recollection seeing their parents engaged in such Godly behavior. What a most wonderfull means to prepare them for their day in the carnal and materialistic world! Although the best time to meet with God has to be settled individually, the Scriptures offer considerable help in this matter. Many of God's men practiced meeting Him in the day's first hours, before that inevitable host of responsibilities hemmed them in. Jesus did this.

Now in the morning, having risen a long while before daylight, He went out, and departed to a solitary place, and there He prayed. - Mk 1:35

While the morning probably would be best for most believers also, whenever quiet time is engaged in, it should be done when we are at our peak and not at our ebb. While some people are night owls, there are many for whom those quiet hours before the world has gotten into gear offer the best time for uninterrupted concentration on what God wants to say to you from His Word.

Another reason favoring the early morning is a defensive one. If you don't get fellowship with Christ early, you may not get it at all. The devil knows the devastating impact of an effective Christian life. Satan will pepper your schedule each day with unexpected activities to keep you from that appointment with God. Quiet Time is one of the facets to being a Disciple of Jesus Christ. One can't be a Disciple if one doesn't know what the Word says, and one can't know what the Word means if they don't spend time reflecting on the Word. Let me give you a coarse analogy of the benefits of being in the Word. I read a commentary about the translators of the Authorized King James Version of the Bible. Essentially what was said was that working on that translation was akin to wiring a house with the power on. Its for this very reason that believers need to be in the Word, and they need to be in it daily. I asked you to read Psalms 1:1-3. I wish to direct your attention to v2 (Josh 1:8). The English word "meditate" is derived from the Hebrew Hägäh. Zhodiates says of Hägäh:

to murmur, to mutter, to growl, to sigh, to moan, to roar, to meditate, to muse, to speak, to whisper. The word describes a low moaning sound like that of a dove or the growling of a lion which has trapped its prey. It is possible the Scriptures were read audibly during the process of meditation.

Don't trap yourself into believing God rates your fellowship with Him by the amount and pace of things you do during the quiet time. Remember, your goal is to get to know a person. Three things are important with respect to Quiet Time:

1) The right frame of mind. This is initiated by opening with a prayer to the heavenly Father, by reading a Psalm or a portion of a Psalm because that may helps instill an attitude of worship.

2) Prayer. During prayer time, worship the Lord for WHO HE IS, and praise the Lord for the GREAT THINGS HE HAS DONE (and is doing.) Confession of sin is important, as is thanksgiving for the Lord's gracious forgiveness. Then I pray for my family and friends. Lastly, I bring my personal needs before God.

3) Scripture reading. It isn't a good idea to read here and there, in a willy-nilly fashion. Read through the scriptures. Begin with the gospels. You may want to alternate between the Old and New Testaments. Finish a book before going to another one. Don't try to read too much at a time, so that you can give some thought to what you are reading. Keep a journal about what the Lord is saying through the passages just read. Writing your thoughts down will help cement them in your mind.

For any believer who is plumbing the depths of the Word, the value of sound, solid reference materials are beyond calculations. This means a doctrinally sound study Bible, e.g, Scofield, Ryrie, Thompson, Zhodiates, et ali, concordances, lexicons such as Strongs and Vines, Bible atlases, commentaries, especially A.T. Robertson's New Word Pictures. Devotionals such as The Daily Bread (by RBC Ministries), or devotional calendars such as Choice Gleanings (by Gospel Folio Press). With respect to the devotionals, I don't read the commentary, but I read the daily scripture passage. Then I go to the Word. I find out what the cross reference passages are. I read each of the cross reference passages, I read each of the associated cross reference passages for each of the associated cross references. I look up the bolded words in the passages that are linked to Strong's Lexicon references. I pay attention to any commentary that may be indicated for that reference (as footnotes or in the margins). I pursue this until I've squeezed the Word dry of whatever meaning that passage has. I'll read the whole paragraph, I'll read the chapter (perhaps even the book if necessary) to obtain the context that the passage is to be taken in. Once the Word has been wrung dry of meaning, then I read the commentary in the Daily Bread devotional. And boy oh boy oh boy oh Chef Boy ar Dee, what meaning one gets out of that devotional then. After doing all that, the devotional as it pertains to that passage is only the tip of the ice berg. But what I just did was discover that whole iceberg.

You'll find at first that your quiet time will be short. But as you get to know Jesus better, you will be spending more and more time in His presence because you'll be developing an appreciation of His love and friendship with Him will demand it.

I asked you to read Psa 1:1-3 for a particular reason and that was to draw your attention to the benefits of meditation on the Word. I gave you a definition, and the various connotations that the original Hebrew word has. Let me give you another analogy of how we are to meditate upon the word. Many Christian congregations are led by a pastor. Ignoring for a moment the unscriptural issue that pastorship is not an office (it is a gift of the spirit), what kind of animals is it that a shepard is responsible for? A pastor is shephard of a flock of sheep. Sheep belong to the ruminant classification of animals. Ruminants are characterized by their "four" stomachs and "cud-chewing" behavior. The cud is a food bolus that has been regurgitated. Read Mt 4:4; Lk 4:4; Jn 6:51; Jn 6:58. Now consider the context of what I've said thus far, and how the sheep of Christ's flock live. Can you see the connection with Psa 1:1-3?

Now imagine me as a sheep chewing on that iceberg I was previously talking about, swallowing it, spitting it back up again, chewing on that iceberg again and again and again and again and again (you get the idea, HEY I'M A SHEEP DON'T YA KNOW? and I've four stomachs to do that with) all the while growling like a satisfied lion that caught its prey and cooing like a bunch of contented doves pecking at their seed. That's what Psa 1:1-3 is all about.