1.) You assume it is in some way unloving to take someone's hand.
2.) If you're not holding hands with the person on your right, I doubt the one on the left who's new will be offended if you don't hold hands with him.
3.) If you think there is something wrong with holding hands, going straight to the pastor and not to the person themselves would violate the rules for dealing with a brother who has sinned against you.
You seem to have gotten hold of the wrong end of the stick or I have not expressed myself well enough. The original post that was referred to mentioned that the Priest was the one asking people to join hands in prayer so that is the person that you need to take objections. The person in the pugh (who may or may not be new) would only be doing what the Priest has asked them to do. IF they feel spurned by you because of your objections (no matter how righteous) then you indeed have been unloving towards them. I am sure there would not be time to raise the theological objections during the Our Father. So like I said it is better to take the objections to the Priest and maybe you could speak to the people who were next to you after Mass and discuss it with them.