It's that nasty Capt. Kidd again. I never understood why he killed Gunner Moore with that bucket . . .
Posted on 09/19/2003 6:44:48 AM PDT by MalcolmS
..snip..
In closing, here's an:
IMPORTANT REMINDER -- Mark your calendar with a big ''X'' on Sept. 19, which is the second annual National Talk Like A Pirate Day. This is the day when everybody is supposed to talk like a pirate for very solid reasons (see www.talklikeapirate.com).
Last year, the first National Talk Like a Pirate Day was a huge success, as measured by the number of messages on my answering machine consisting entirely of people going ''Arrrrr.'' So if you're feeling depressed -- if you think the world is in terrible shape, and one person like yourself can't make a difference -- remember this: You're right. So you might as well talk like a pirate. It's easy! For example, when you answer the phone, instead of ''Hello,'' you say ''Ahoy!''
From Dave Barry, Sept 8, 2002
Arrrrr! Talk like a pirate -- or prepare to be boarded DAVE BARRY
Every now and then, some visionary individuals come along with a concept that is so original and so revolutionary that your immediate reaction is: ``Those individuals should be on medication.''
Today I want to tell you about two such people, John Baur and Mark Summers, who have come up with a concept that is going to make you kick yourself for not thinking of it first: Talk Like a Pirate Day. As the name suggests, this is a day on which everybody would talk like a pirate. Is that a great idea, or what? There are so many practical benefits that I can't even begin to list them all.
Baur and Summers came up with this idea a few years ago. They were playing racquetball, and, as so often happens, they began talking like pirates. And then it struck them: Why not have a day when EVERYBODY talks like a pirate? They decided that the logical day would be Sept. 19, because that -- as you are no doubt aware -- is Summers' ex-wife's birthday.
Since then, Baur and Summers have made a near-superhuman effort to promote Talk Like a Pirate Day. As Baur puts it: ``We've talked like pirates, and encouraged our several friends to, every Sept. 19, except for a couple where we forgot.''
And yet, incredibly, despite this well-orchestrated campaign, the nation has turned a deaf shoulder to Talk Like a Pirate Day. In desperation, Baur and Summers turned to me for help. As an influential newspaper columnist, I have the power to ''make or break'' a national day. You may recall that almost nobody celebrated Thanksgiving until I began writing about it in the 1970s.
I have given Baur's and Summers' idea serious thought, looking for ways to improve it. One variation I considered was Talk Like a Member of the Lollipop Guild Day, on which everybody would talk like the three Munchkins in the film version of The Wizard of Oz who welcome Dorothy to Munchkin Land by singing with one corner of their mouths drooping down, as though they have large invisible dental suction devices hanging from their lips. But I realized that would be stupid.
So I have decided to throw my full support behind Talk Like a Pirate Day, to be observed this Sept. 19. To help promote this important cause, I have decided to seek the endorsement of famous celebrities, and I am pleased to report that, as of today, Tom Cruise, Julia Roberts, Britney Spears, Brad Pitt, Oprah Winfrey, the Osbournes, Tiger Woods, Ted Koppel, the Sopranos, Puff Doody and the late Elvis Presley are all people who I hope will read this column and become big supporters. I see no need to recruit President Bush, because he already talks like a pirate, as we can see from this transcript of a recent White House press conference:
REPORTER: Could you please explain either your foreign or your domestic policy?
PRESIDENT BUSH: Arrrrr.
To prepare for Talk Like a Pirate Day, you should practice incorporating pirate terminology into your everyday speech. For example, let's consider a typical conversation between two co-workers in a business office:
BOB: Hi. Mary.
MARY: Hi, Bob. Have you had a chance to look at the Fennerman contract?
BOB: Yes, and I have some suggestions.
MARY: OK, I'll review them.
Now let's see how this same conversation would sound on Talk Like a Pirate Day:
BOB: Avast, me beauty.
MARY: Avast, Bob. Is that a yardarm in your doubloons, or are you just glad to see me?
BOB: You are giving me the desire to haul some keel.
MARY: Arrrrr.
As you can see, talking like a pirate will infuse your everyday conversations with romance and danger. So join the movement! On Sept. 19, do not answer the phone with ''hello.'' Answer the phone with ''Ahoy me hearty!'' If the caller objects that he is not a hearty, inform him that he is a scurvy dog (or, if the caller is female, a scurvy female dog) who will be walking the plank off the poop deck and winding up in Davy Jones' locker, sleeping with the fishes. No, wait, that would be Talk Like a Pirate in The Godfather Day, which is another variation I considered (``I'm gonna make him an offer that will shiver his timbers'').
But the point is, this is a great idea, and you, me bucko, should be part of it. Join us on Sept. 19. You HAVE the buckles, darn it: Don't be afraid to swash them! Let's make this into a grass-roots movement that sweeps the nation, like campaign-finance reform, or Krispy Kreme doughnuts. I truly think this idea could bring us, as a nation, closer together.
But not TOO much closer. Some of us will have swords.
It's that nasty Capt. Kidd again. I never understood why he killed Gunner Moore with that bucket . . .
Do yer worst ye scurvy bean counters!
"Oh the topman and the afterguard was a-walking one day.
Says the topman to the afterguard: I mean for to pray
For the rights of all sailors and the wrongs of all men
And whatever I do pray for you must answer me: Amen.
I'll pray for the bosun with his little stick
Who bawls out: All hands! and then gives us a lick,
Strikes many a brave fellow and sends him amain
May the devil double triple damn him --
Says the afterguard: Amen. "
"To Execution Dock I must go, I must go,
To Execution Dock I must go,
To Execution Dock will many thousand flock,
But I must bear the shock, I must die.
Come all you young and old, see me die, see me die,
Come all you young and old, see me die,
Come all you young and old, you're welcome to my gold,
For by it I've lost my soul, and must die.
Take warning now by me, for I must die, for I must die,
Take warning now by me, for I must die,
Take warning now by me, and shun bad company,
Lest you come to hell with me, for I must die."
(Maybe I should be the official singer. I used to hold that position with a Rugby Team.)
Ye means there is another?
He had absolutely the greatest mizzen flag on the seven seas.
I made a copy 4 x 6 feet and hung it over our fireplace every Hallowe'en for years. It's still around here somewhere . . . . rummage . . . rummage . . . rummage
(my version's better 'cause it's all embroidered. By hand. That's supposed to be an hourglass they're holding. TIME'S UP!)
I own my very own licensed captain and so I am Admiral of my fleet. Piracy is still punishable by death.
International law calls for death for piracy.
We saw a bunch of loons in a pontoon party boat with two or three coolers full of beer running the Tuckasegee River. I couldn't believe they made it, but they did. Can you imagine taking a pontoon boat over something like this?
I'm not sure, but that looks like the first drop in Railroad Rapid.
You can take your boat on our river if you like, but you won't get far. For one thing, there's not a drawbridge to be seen - the kayaks can get under but I'm pretty sure you can't.
Have you seen these yet? towboat
The captions aren't exactly correct - the true story was eventually pieced together and the guy with the pix has posted it on the website.
hehehehe, Kewl..I still have my ninja night suit....ocean going ninjas Pirates..."put down your cop sticks and hand over over your sushi & wasabe/ginger"... :)
thanks for sharing that...what rough/sracy ride that crew had.
The boat is actually a ketch (The aft mast is not as far back as on a yawl). Though it has been around the world, we stick to San Francisco Bay, come out for Fleet Week/Blue Angels over Columbus Day weekend.
Have a group of homeschooled kids out today and am looking forward to teaching them to run the boat.
I used to represent the old Waterman Steamship Lines (or more accurately their insurer) in liability cases growing out of river barge traffic. So I'm familiar with the practice of dropping the tow in high water on the inside of a bend and picking it up on the other side of the draw . . . sometimes it works and sometimes (as in this case) it DON'T! Bridges on bends give towboat operators fits. The current does funny things as it swings across the channel and encounters the bridge pilings. At flood stage (and apparently this was some of the highest water they'd ever had on the Black Warrior River) the current gets very weird and unpredictable. Kayakers call this stuff "funny water," but it's not very funny. Giant whirlpools, eddy walls, breaking waves, etc.
Warrior & Gulf (the towboat company) eventually sold the boat and it's still out there working, under a new name. But the dents that the bridge put in the wheelhouse are still there. The bridge (the old Rooster Bridge at Demopolis) was wrecked out long ago and replaced by a nice new high-span modern bridge.
Have a great time out on the bay today! I know the kids will enjoy their voyage. And thanks for explaining the difference between a yawl and a ketch. The biggest thing I've ever sailed is a Lightning class sloop, and I once got to ride around Providenciales in the Turks and Caicos in a beautiful, tiny three-masted barque. It couldn't have been much longer than 30 feet, it was an old wooden plank boat that had been completely restored. That must have been 30-40 years ago, back in the late 60s or early 70s some time.
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