48 Reasons why Dogs are better than women

Strange Cosmos ^ | 8/17/2003

[sinkspur]

48 Reasons Why Dogs are Better Than Women 48 Reasons Why Dogs are Better Than Women

WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN

1. Dogs don't cry.

2. Dogs love it when your friends come over.

3. Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.

4. Dogs think you sing great.

5. A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.

6. Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.

7. The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you

8. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.

9. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

10. Dogs are excited by rough play.

11. Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.

12. Dogs understand that farts are funny.

13. Dogs love red meat.

14. Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.

15. Anyone can get a good-looking dog.

16. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.

17. Dogs don't shop.

18. Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.

19. A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.

20. Dogs never need to examine the relationship.

21. A dog's parents never visit.

22. Dogs love long car trips.

23. Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.

24. Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted.

25. When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it.

26. Dogs like beer.

27. Dogs don't hate their bodies.

28. No dog ever bought a Kenny G or Hootie & the Blowfish album.

29. No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.

30. Dogs never criticize.

31. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

32. Dogs never expect gifts.

33. It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.

34. Dogs don't worry about germs.

35. Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had.

36. Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer.

37. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.

38. Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one.

40. You never have to wait for a dog. They're ready to go 24 hours a day.

41. Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.

42. Dogs don't borrow your shirts.

43. Dogs never want foot-rubs.

44. Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.

45. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

46. Dogs can't talk.

47. Dogs aren't catty.

48. Dogs seldom outlive you.

[Bullish]

Thanks, I needed a good laugh. I didn't know I was going to be spitting beer out my nose though.

[rwfromkansas]

I am just a college sophomore, but I am sure I will have a long road ahead to find someone, if I ever do. But, it isn't a big deal for quite awhile and with my two career path options, journalism or teaching, I will be plenty busy to not have time for a social life anyway, especially the first. I probably will have to attend graduate school for a masters in Broadcast Journalism as it is.

I just wish I would stop being the guy to whom girls would say, "You are a nice guy, but I just want to be friends." Uggh!

[orlop9]

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
--Sir Winston Churchill

[rwfromkansas]

I'm an odd person when it comes to pets. To really be thrilled with my pets, I would need a dog, a prairie dog, hedghog, and depending on how good the descenting is, a ferret. With all that in the house, I don't know if I would have time to deal with a wife...lol

I used to want a raccoon, but they are too much of a hassle for any of my possible careers.

[rwfromkansas]

just thought that a prarie dog/ferret combo might not go over well. Ferrets eat prairie dogs.

[noutopia]

That will happen,until your real love comes along.Mine did and bit me in the ass.Cover your ass and watch out for cats that want to mew at your door,dont let them in.

[RikaStrom]

Dear Dogs:

When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two dogs in the way.

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by Nascar and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs sleeping. They can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but doggy sarcasm.

My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years, canine attendance is not mandatory.


The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dogs butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.

Rules for non pet owners who visit and like to complain about our pets.

1. The dog lives here. You don't.
2. If you don't want dog hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
3. I like my dog a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, she's a dog. To me, she's an adopted daughter who is short, hairy walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
5. **Dogs are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell the pups.

The same applies to cats, except they ignore you until you are asleep.

[orlop9]

just thought that a prarie dog/ferret combo might not go over well.

Yeah, but it would keep the place interesting after football season.

[dixiechick2000]

"Or your bill fold"

What? You don't like a clean billfold?

[oceanperch]

That they are.

Freinds come and go but your dog will follow ya everywhere to keep tabs on ya.

[rwfromkansas]

lol

[quietolong]

>>>> 30. Dogs never criticize. <<<<

You’ve never had your Dog give you a dirty look after you missed a shot!

[4mycountry]

Reason why dogs are better than women:

Dogs can't ZOT you. I am a woman, I can. You sure you wanna carry this tune? ;)

[sit-rep]

Don't wear underwear...

[sit-rep]

I hear alligators like cats!

[sit-rep]

Just got home from a week out, I'll click over to the prairee dog thread and get caught up...

[Double Tap]

Come on sweetie, pull the trigger. Just make sure you get me with the first shot, otherwise, it might get messy.

[Skooz]

bump for later

[4mycountry]

You DO realize my threat post was humor, right?