Posted on 08/16/2003 8:39:35 PM PDT by sinkspur
48 Reasons Why Dogs are Better Than Women 48 Reasons Why Dogs are Better Than Women
WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN
1. Dogs don't cry.
2. Dogs love it when your friends come over.
3. Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.
4. Dogs think you sing great.
5. A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.
6. Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.
7. The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you
8. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
9. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
10. Dogs are excited by rough play.
11. Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.
12. Dogs understand that farts are funny.
13. Dogs love red meat.
14. Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.
15. Anyone can get a good-looking dog.
16. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
17. Dogs don't shop.
18. Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
19. A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.
20. Dogs never need to examine the relationship.
21. A dog's parents never visit.
22. Dogs love long car trips.
23. Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
24. Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted.
25. When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it.
26. Dogs like beer.
27. Dogs don't hate their bodies.
28. No dog ever bought a Kenny G or Hootie & the Blowfish album.
29. No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.
30. Dogs never criticize.
31. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
32. Dogs never expect gifts.
33. It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.
34. Dogs don't worry about germs.
35. Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had.
36. Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer.
37. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.
38. Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one.
40. You never have to wait for a dog. They're ready to go 24 hours a day.
41. Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.
42. Dogs don't borrow your shirts.
43. Dogs never want foot-rubs.
44. Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.
45. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
46. Dogs can't talk.
47. Dogs aren't catty.
48. Dogs seldom outlive you.
I would have guessed that you would. Your "Mr. Church Lady" around this place.
Still cracks me up.
1. My parrot greets me by name when I arrive home.
2. My parrot can answer the phone or the doorbell.
3. My parrot chews only what is approved for chewing.
4. My parrot sleeps straight through the night, even when "in season".
5. Tongue licks from a parrot are more interesting, less sloppy.
6. My parrot can sing, whistle, laugh and make kissing sounds.
7. I don't need a leash to take her on walks.
8. I don't pay a pet deposit with my apartment lease.
9. No hairs to pick up after (feathers are another story, but they are easier to pick up and sometimes make great gifts).
10. My parrot's a better "chick magnet" than cats or dogs.
See what I mean? You ridicule EVERYTHING. As to what a
"MR. Church Lady" is,
is beyond me. Speaks volumes about your logic and the how you view someone who DOES go to church. Sure ridicule that too. You just dig yourself a deeper hole and emphazise more how you ridicule everything.
Then again, ridicule coming from the stinkspur, er sinkspur, UNchurched is nothing new. You wouldn't know the Word of God if it hit you in the face.
Sad but true. Decent people are becoming rare.
You: Uh, what aisle would those be on?
Surely a bitter person like you can read. You'll find them. Let it challege you as to which "aisle" or heading it's under.
There truly is hope out there. On threads like this, you'll find mostly bitter and unhappy people. Poking fun at it allows them to elevate themselves and brings about comradship.
Join clubes where you have a genuine interest. Dare I say attend a conservative church? This is particular offensive to the poster of the thread ... .Often people meet others at work. Whatever you do, avoid the internet, and personal ads. You'll meet a bunch of lying losers. How do I know that? From friends that have tried it. They've had better success theough blind dates, church, clubs, sports etc.. You really need to meet the person.
I'm not sure this one is always so true. I have a female Aussie who is very dominant and seems to have a natural contempt for poodles or any other dog with a strange cut. She tends to demonstrate her dominance by mounting such dogs (male or female) when she sees them.
I think she thinks that they're sissies. ;-)
LOL! Laugh at whatever you don't value, marriage, comparing women to dogs or dogs to cats ... whatever. People like me value marriage and have no bitterness towards our spouse and this is WHY we find this posting offensive. Is that "digging a hole" ? If by your standards it is, then by golly I've dug a hole in defense of marriage and respect for the sexes.
What might do you some good is to get out more often. It seems that FR is YOUR life. I'd hate to do a search on how often you post by date and time. It's as though you are GLUED to FR based in what I've seen. It's no wonder you have such a cynical and lonely existance. It's now affected your outlook and humor.
Read the stuff at www.sosuave.com. Check out the forum there, and the DJ Bible.
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