Free Republic 3rd quarter FReepathon underway! - Thread 4

Click here to donate via Free Republic's secure server ^

[RottiBiz]

Not me! :-)

[glock rocks]

yikes, anti-sushi!

[MeekOneGOP]

hehe !! That Hot-Dog doesn't know what's chasin' him, I bet !

[Fawnn]

Quote du jour bump:

"Old" is when a sexy guy catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door. -author unknown

(Bet the neighbors get really upset about that when you walk through the neighborhood!) ;)

[glock rocks]

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the
years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.
Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a
week to play cards.

One day they were playing cards when one looked
at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me.....I know we've
been friends for long time.....but I just can't think of your name!
I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me
what your name is."

Her friend glared at her for at least three
minutes... she just stared and glared.. Finally she said, "How soon
do you need to know?"

[Fiddlstix]

Good Morning Everybody.

You Know The Drill
Click the Pics J

Coffee & Donuts J

[RottiBiz]

"Old" is when your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

[Fawnn]

Gramma: glock's spreading rumors about you and what's her name(?)!!!

[Fawnn]

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww (LOL!!!)

[RottiBiz]

"Old" is when going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

[glock rocks]

A man tells his doctor he’s unable to do all the things around the house that he used to do. After the exam, he says, “Now, doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what the hell’s wrong with me.”

“In layman’s terms, you’re lazy,” says the doctor.

“OK. Now give me the medical term, so I can tell my wife.”

[glock rocks]

A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But it was payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire pay check.

When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?" He replied, "That would be fine with me."

Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

[RottiBiz]

Good stories!

My brother and sister-in-law are visiting (still sleeping) and will get a kick out of them, as my husband and I did.

[MeekOneGOP]

LOL !! Good one ! I'll be sending that one along on e-mail.



THE MOST POWERFUL LIQUID IN THE WORLD . . .

A little boy was sitting on the curb with a gallon of turpentine, shaking it up and watching all the bubbles.

A little while later a Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had.

The little boy replied, "This is the most powerful liquid in the world, it's called turpentine."

The Priest took a small vial of clear liquid out of his pocket and said,

"No, this is the most powerful liquid in the world, it's called Holy Water. If you take some of this Holy Water and rub it on a pregnant women's belly, she'll pass a healthy baby."

The little boy replied, "That ain't nothin'. You take some of this here turpentine and rub it on a cat's a** and he'll pass a motorcycle."



THE ROBOT BARTENDER ...

A popular bar had a new robotic bartender installed.

A guy came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ"?

The man replied, "130".

So, the robot proceeded to make conversation about physics, astronomy, investments, insurance and so on.

The man listened intently and thought, "This is really cool".

Another guy came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?"

The man responded, "100."

So the robot started talking about the football, baseball and so on.

The man thought to himself, "Wow, this is really cool".

A third guy came in to the bar. As with the others, the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?"

The man replied, "70".

The robot then said, "So, what's the Democratic Party up to these days?"

[Grampa Dave]

Speaking of Robots, here is a great reality joke from Bob the Nailer.

THE ROBOT BARTENDER ...

A popular bar had a new robotic bartender installed.
A guy came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ"?

The man replied, "130".
So, the robot proceeded to make conversation about physics, astronomy, investments, insurance and so on.
The man listened intently and thought, "This is really cool".


Another guy came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?"

The man responded, "100."
So the robot started talking about the football, baseball and so on. The man thought to himself, "Wow, this is really cool".


A third guy came in to the bar. As with the others, the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?"

The man replied, "70". The robot then said, "So, what's the Democratic Party up to these days?"

[Brad’s Gramma]

The FReepathon may be over, but donations are still coming in.

Oh heck, let's confuse the masses and have the android keep posting. (heheeeeeeeee)

[Brad’s Gramma]

HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA

[Brad’s Gramma]

Why am I being pinged to all of these old people jokes?

I'm 34. Sheesh.

[Fawnn]

I'm 34.

Neck size? Length of the leash the grandson keeps you on during your walks? Number of the nice adjectives you've used to describe me recently? All of the above? ;)

[Brad’s Gramma]

I shall remain ever the calm quiet mannered lady and not respond to that.