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To: McLynnan
You and your daughter would be much better off having read Boundaries in Dating by Cloud and Townsend. The introduction of this book addresses some major problems with Harris' I Kissed Dating Goodbye. It is not that Cloud and Townsend don't appreciate Harris' intent or motives; it's that Harris' reasoning is shallow. Some people shouldn't be dating, but that does not apply to the vast majority of people.

You also might want to consider the very real possibility that your daughter might be much better off not having a steady boyfriend at her age; and the amount of time you spend with them, combined with what appears to be a significant amount of time with his parents might eventually create pressure to maintain a relationship that one or both may think they can't get out of because it might disappoint one or both sets of parents.

Rather than taking the pressure of dating off of them, you may unintentionally be encouraging an unhealthy attitude about maturing as a person. Dating responsibly can help your daughter grow up to be a emotionally healthy adult. The fact that the end of a dating relationship may be emotionally difficult for a time, it is reality and learning to deal with disappointment in all areas of life is a reality.

62 posted on 06/19/2003 11:50:34 AM PDT by connectthedots
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To: connectthedots
In their book, Cloud and Townsend write:

We strongly disagree with the idea that all people should give up dating for several reasons."

That's called a "Straw Man Fallacy." That kind of fallacy is when you misrepresent your opponent in such a way that it's simple to knock down their argument. The thing is, Joshua Harris' books never say what Cloud and Townsend say is says.

Harris's point is exactly mine -- that singles don't need to buy into the North American concept of dating; there are other options. And perhaps because "dating" has become such a connotated word, so synonymous with serial relationships that likely end in a break-up, Harris has offered a different word. Along with that word he's offered a fresh (or maybe old/quaint/traditional) concept of relationship, with good examples of that concept worked out.

But again, Harris never says that all dating is wrong, and that if you date, you're sinning. In fact, he specifically says that's *not* what he's saying....

"Straw Man" is one of the more common types of fallacy....

101 posted on 06/19/2003 12:27:17 PM PDT by Theo
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