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The concept of courtship appears to be gaining popularity among evangelical churches. The youth pastor at our church essentially preaches about it every year around Feb. 14. While I'm not sure I agree with everything, some of it makes sense. Also, I'm sure there are different permutations of how courtship would work. Essentially the parents take a more active role in the relationship, but here's a rough example of what I've heard...

Say Joe likes Sarah, so he goes to Sarah's dad (NOT Sarah) and and asks Dad if he can see Sarah. Assuming Joe raises no red flags with Dad, Dad then goes to Sarah and pitches the idea to her. If she has no interest, Dad tells Joe the bad news (no pressure on Sarah). If she is interested, Dad relays the good news and essentially facilitates the two seeing each other. The two are NEVER alone, all visits are supervised, and no physical contact is allowed. Any "dates" are done with a group.

I may have misstated some of this, but essentially that's what I've heard. My own opinion is that young people need to be taught that they do not need romance in their lives until they're ready to marry. Unfortunately our society does everything to encourage romantic relationships among teens.

Good points. Since I'm 36 (my wife is only 24 -- woo hoo!), her father didn't really think the "permission" thing was appropriate. He did give me his "permission" to pursue her, and if I won her heart, he would give his blessing to our relationship.

The point is the same, though, as what you're saying. We didn't make decisions about our potential life together without including her parents "in the loop." I'm kind of old-fashioned, I guess, and think that children are under parental covering/responsibility/authority, until that covering is transferred as marriage commences. Hm. Probably didn't phrase that quite right.... :-)

That does not fit with the courtship of another poster....the parents were not invovled or at least he didn't mention that. Then again he said they called that "courting," so that may have just been there name for it.

I prefer his method over the "getting permission from the parents" deal to even see his daughter. Excuse me, but I don't think a father of a college girl has the right to tell me I can't see her if I am interested in her. I would respect his opinion on marriage itself, however, though it also would not be the ultimate deciding factor.

I see a lot of problems with the current dating scene, but do not like your definition of courting. I think it gives parents too much control. Now, if someone is in HS still, a parent should exercise such control.

OK let's define our terms here: "courtship" is seeing someone exclusively for the purpose of marriage (from what others have said). At the same time, "courting" someone is supposed to "take the pressure off" of the relationship?? It would seem to me that courting someone with the intent to pick a mate adds much pressure to the situation. Pressure for the other person to live up to whatever ideal you might have, and pressure for one of you to end things immediately if you start having second guesses (why waste each other's time??) Courting seems to add "rest of your life" repercussions to every dating choice you make. No thanks.

When I spend time with a girl, I want it to be relaxed, with no pressure----I want to find out what she's going to be like every day for the rest of my life, when she isn't thinking about sex or marriage or whatever. I want to know what she'll be like when we can't agree on where to eat or how to spend a lazy saturday. I want to know if she'll want to go out and have a good time once in a while, if she'll be willing to learn how to drive the ski boat, if she'll let me take her for a motorcycle ride. I want to know if she has her own interests and opinions and is not afraid to voice them and even argue with me. Such are not the questions that are answered when "courting" methinks.