Shunning French fare is cheap patriotism

Tallahassee Democrat ^ | Thu, Mar. 06, 2003 | Tanya Barrientos

[BlessedBeGod]

There's a restaurant owner in North Carolina who's so fed up with the lack of support France has shown for the United States that he's rewritten his menu.

Instead of French fries, he's sliding "freedom fries" next to his burgers.

He's just one of a growing list of folks bent on boycotting goods that have anything to do with la France.

Wine. Cheese. Coffeehouse skim-milk lattes with cinnamon and chocolate shavings.

Pardon my French, but what the (bleep) are they trying to prove?

The geopolitical chess game being played at the United Nations has poised France and Germany on one side of the board and Britain and the United States on the other.

The delegates are debating resolutions that are intricate and deadly serious.

But if you like your international politics on the simplistic side, I suppose frowning on all things French is one way to go.

What I want to know is just how far are these anti-French protesters willing to go?

Are they going to conjure up clever new names for French toast? French dressing? French-cut string beans?

Instead of a French kiss, will they fuel their passions with a sloppy "European union"?

Are they going to stop ordering the Croissanwich at Burger King, or eschew words such as "eschew" that derive from "le francais"?

"Mon dieu!" The quagmire they are wading into!

French manicures. French poodles. French cuffs. French twists.

French doors. French bread. French horns. Mr. French.

It may seem as if tossing that half-empty jar of Dijon lodged in back of the fridge might be a quick and easy act of patriotism. But what all-American condiment would the boycotters suggest we replace it with? French's yellow?

What, I wonder, would they have us do about the Statue of Liberty, which was, after all, a gift from "les miserables" across the ocean? How about New Orleans' famous French Quarter?

And the Tour de France? Somehow, the image of Lance Armstrong biking through the bucolic fields of Uzbekistan lacks a certain je ne sais quoi.

Of course, the logical extension of their reprimand would be to shun German products as well. And conversely, to embrace all things British.

But I don't see a rising tide of jingoistic millionaires rushing to junk their Benzes, Beemers and Porsches. And so far I haven't noticed fewer Volkswagen Jettas or Beetles tooling down the streets.

Come to think of it, giving up sauerkraut and schnitzel wouldn't be anywhere near the struggle of forgoing coq au vin and crepe suzette.

Are you beginning to see how "absurde" this boycott route could become?

Next thing you know, Frenchie Davis, who was kicked off "American Idol" last month, will change her name to Brittany.

We'll be ordering an Earl Grey grande with orange marmalade and crumpets at Starbucks, and steak and McKidney pie will suddenly appear on the value menu at the golden arches.

Look, I'm as patriotic as the next guy, but I'm not going to make a coaster out of my DVD of "Amelie."

And, quite frankly, nothing short of the Third World War will get me to eat that Brit concoction called bubble and squeak.

Tanya Barrientos is a columnist at The Philadelphia Inquirer. Contact her at tbarrientos@phillynews.com

[BlessedBeGod]

Clueless. Must be French.

[GodBlessRonaldReagan]

Look, I'm as patriotic as the next guy

Somehow I have trouble believing that...

[dennisw]

Can you actually pick up a paycheck for writing such juvenile swill? And it's not even funny though I'm sure she thinks it is.

[Happygal]

Poor Tanya - she doesn't get it. Besides the fact that her article is neither clever nor witty, she doesn't understand the idea of 'Hitting them where it hurts - in their pocket'.

[cajungirl]

cheap patriotism works for me. BTW what about french kissing,,should we tell our children to just say no,,,,hahahha

[leadpenny]

Our military should stop using the term "Sortie" for air missions over Iraq.

[dennisw]

About Tanya Barrientos Tanya Barrientos has worked at the Inquirer since 1986, when she was assigned to cover Chester County schools. She worked for three years as a national correspondent in the South. Since 1992 she has written for the Daily Magazine and the Sunday Inquirer Magazine. Her first novel, Frontera Street, was published by Penguin-Putnam in July 2002. She received the prestigious Pew Fellowship in the Arts in 2002, as well as a grant from the Pennsylvania Council of the Arts. Her second novel is scheduled to be published in summer 2003. Her column, Unconventional Wisdom, appears in Saturday reViews. She can be reached at tbarrientos@phillynews.com.

[gulfcoast6]

Sorry, be sure and tell your daddy hello when you call him in France today.

[xJones]

It is a shame when slow journalists are required to write a column on one of their slower days.

[Stultis]

Shunning French fare is cheap patriotism

Excellent! Although I'd be happy to bash the frogs even if was expensive.

[Stultis]

Looks like someone popped her in the eye.
(Probably one of her readers.)

[river rat]

Tallahassee Democrat ^ | Thu, Mar. 06, 2003 | Tanya Barrientos

Several clues in that header.....to indicate article is worthless...

Semper Fi

[Junior]

French manicures. French poodles. French cuffs. French twists.

French doors. French bread. French horns. Mr. French.

French leave (desertion). The French disease (syphilis).

[Jaxter]

Even though this guy is a twit, I agree with him to a certain extent. It is pretty stupid to not eat French dressing or French toast (which, according to IHOP, is named for Joseph French, tha American that invented it). But, I will never buy anything that was actually made in France. I will never visit Paris again, a city that I really enjoyed in two previous visits. My wife will no longer use Chanel No. 5, her favorite (her idea, not mine) or any other French product. I have drank my last bottle of French wine and have eaten my last piece of French cheese. And the BMW that we had planned on buying on retirement may turn out to be a Jaguar or a Corvette. And this is not until the French or the Germans 'come around' to our way of thinking. This is forever.

[dennisw]

She's obviously a noble and struggling 3rd world writer sent here to educate whitey. Meanwhile her lifestyle is dependant on a Pew Fellowship in the Arts and a grant from the Pennsylvania Council of the Arts. How fortunate we are!

Only part I don't get, she's a white as the average Italian American. She's not a real 3rd worlder Mexican since she's not Mestizo.

[Jaxter]

Sorry, her. She is pretty masculine looking though.

[dennisw]

Even though this guy is a twit, I agree with him to a certain extent. It is pretty stupid to not eat French dressing or French toast (which, according to IHOP, is named for Joseph French, tha American that invented it).

Sez you!!!  I'm giving up French dressing, French toast and French's Mustard for the duration . Also no more Grey Poupon for me!

[retiredtexan]

How much easier is it for the little guy to express his views, than to boycot?t.That is the most effective use of our assets.

[chilepepper]

eschew

God bless you!

[BlessedBeGod]

It is pretty stupid to not eat French dressing or French toast (which, according to IHOP, is named for Joseph French, tha American that invented it).

Yes, but that's not the point. It's FUN, and gives one a great sense of satisfaction! LOL