Everything Personal:Children Born of Rape or Incest

Touchstone Magazine ^ | January/February 2003 | Russell E. Saltzman

[Remedy]

I belong to an on-line support group (me, in a sup-port group, there’s a picture) composed of adult children born of rape or incest. There are more of us in the former category than the latter. Jennifer is our webmistress, organizer, facilitator, coach, head nanny, chief nag (though very nice about it), and the child of a violent rape. Mostly, I lurk. But for some in the group, I am a kind of unofficial chaplain and sometime pastoral advisor. There are children born before Roe v. Wade as well as children born after Roe v. Wade. The handles adopted by some in the group are evocative: "former fetus," "unawares angel," names like that.

We tell stories about how we found out about our birth circumstances, what that knowledge has meant. For every one of us, it was a discovery. No one was raised knowing the circumstances of his birth, but all of us are adoptees who simply wanted to know our origins for medical reasons or just to gain a more complete personal sense of identity. Finding we were children of rape was an incidental outcome, but always a fundamental shock. The biographical fact of adoption, frequently problematic in its own way, can become impossibly complicated with that extra layer of detail squatting on top of it. My conception and birth were the product of stepsibling incest.

If you want a genuine encounter with Angst 101–all the old "why am I here?" questions with none of the sophomoric abstractions attached–our chat room positively wallows in it, and for understandable reasons. These are ordinary people, after all, fairly attuned to the ordinary pulses of good and evil in this world, trying to come to grips with how their life can be the result of something that was so horrifically bad for someone else. Still, as I always ask when that question arises, cannot a child born of rape be an instance of God working good from evil, a lesson that Joseph learned and then taught to his brothers?

We get into discussions about our discussions with pro-choice advocates. There isn’t one of us who hasn’t been told by a pro-choice supporter that support for abortion, especially in those hard cases like rape, is, of course, "nothing personal." I’m sure the delegates at the Presbyterian Church (USA) meeting in Columbus, Ohio, late last June would say the same thing. The PCUSA general assembly voted 394 to 112 in support of an unrestricted right to abortion, at least until such time as the fetus can survive outside the womb. Thereafter, abortion should be done only to preserve the life of the mother, to "avoid fetal suffering," or in cases of rape and incest.

The Presbyterians have adopted a position similar to that of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, and like the ELCA, PCUSA’s medical benefits plan for clergy and church workers regards an elective abortion as a reimbursable medical expense. There is no reimbursement for an elective nose job, even if your nose is big enough to qualify as a county in Rhode Island, but that’s just policy, nothing personal. (I am a pastor in the ELCA, but I dropped out of the health plan years ago over its support for abortion.)

Back to Angst 101. Everyone deals with issues of birth and origin–well, they do if they are conscious and sentient. The perilous biologic journey of sperm and egg from conception to zygote to blastocyst to embryo to fetus is just so much random chance that particular questions about the particularity that you represent are inevitable. If somebody had a headache that night, you wouldn’t be here. If the 64-some cells that formed the blastocyst had failed to travel the fallopian tubes, you wouldn’t be here. If the blastocyst had failed to implant itself on the uterine wall, you wouldn’t be here. There are a thousand natural reasons why you should not be here, and the chances of your being here at all are unutterably impossible.

The chances of pregnancy from rape are even chancier. Actual pregnancies resulting from reported rapes are ridiculously miniscule, point-oh-oh-oh-something per thousand. But it is always somebody’s bad luck when they do happen and the "ifs" roll on. If she had stayed out of the parking lot that night; if she had been more aware of her surroundings; if the guy she met hadn’t been a twisted creep; if her stepbrother hadn’t forced her on the sofa. If.

Absent a creator–absent God, the Father almighty, maker of heaven and earth–your conception and birth are exactly that, dumb blind chance. Yet we say that God, the Father almighty, maker of heaven and earth, made you. And me. And a very talented, warm-hearted woman named Jennifer, with two sweet kids of her own. Her body itself, and my body, aging though it is, carries a living and breathing rebuke to those who regard human life as a matter of convenience. Against all appearances to the contrary, imagine this: God, the Father almighty, maker of heaven and earth, made her, made me, made you. It is more personal than the Presbyterians or the Lutherans will admit.

Russell E. Saltzman is pastor of Ruskin Heights Lutheran Church, Kansas City, Missouri, and editor of the independent Lutheran publication Forum Letter. This is reprinted with permission from the August 2002 Forum Letter, and is copyright 2002 by the American Lutheran Publicity Bureau.

[babygene]

"Would you feel the same way if the woman was 29?"

Appy, a women of 29 is not going to go through this delima. She's going to go to the hospital after the rape and is not going to have a baby...

[Chancellor Palpatine]

Yup. Of course, the 29 year old probably avails herselves of the service immediately after the rape as part of the rape kit - which notwithstanding would not allow. He'd stand there, ghoulishly saying "no D&C, no RU-486 because you might be pregnant - congratulations."

[AuH2ORepublican]

"I'll also add that the story about the 9 year old is real."

---

I referred to it as a hypothetical because the earlier poster asked "what if *your* 9-year-old daughter was raped and impregnated."


"Cheap for you to exercise your conscience, since you aren't the one living with the consequences, physical and emotional of that rape."

---

I think it's demeaning and sexist to imply that a husband does not suffer if his wife is raped and impregnated, and would not suffer for 9 months if she carries the child to term (and for the rest of his life irrespective of whether his wife aborts the child). While you're correct in pointing out that a man can never really know what his wife is going through, his pain is just as real and just as lasting. Believe me, what my conscience tells me is right is not what would be easiest for me or my wife, but it's the only choice if one wants to follow God's commandments, or if one merely wants to follow the secular principle that the intentional taking of innocent life is wrong.

[Sloth]

Would you disapprove of an abortion if it was your child, and you thought it might make the difference of life or death to her? I didn’t think so…

I would if I only thought it might. If I had sound medical reason for thinking that pregnancy would kill her, I'd approve an abortion.

[babygene]

"As for the hypothetical regarding the 9-year-old, unless continuation of her pregnancy actually placed her life in jeopardy"

A pregnancy always puts a woman's life in jeopaedy to some extent, because there can always be complications. For an adolecent, multiply that by about 10.

How much risk would you ask your daughter to take in such a situation? I would ask my daughter to take ZERO risk. And she would never know the baby existed,

The fact is that the rapest attack the female, and the rapest's sperm attack her egg... The child even though it's inocent, does not have a right to live in her body for the next 9 months. Sad for the child, but that't the correct answer. Anything else continues the abuse.

[hopespringseternal]

The child even though it's inocent, does not have a right to live in her body for the next 9 months. Sad for the child, but that't the correct answer. Anything else continues the abuse.

So I guess you have to go after the author to stop the abuse of his mother? Get real. Yes, a woman will have to bear a child for nine months that she didn't choose. Guess what: it happens all the time, even with married people. Moral people for whom murder is not an option just deal with it as they always have. Immoral people kill because they can get away with it.

Whether or not she has the abortion won't change the fact that she was raped.

For that matter, a lot of people will die today and most of them won't want to. Morality is not circumstantial. It isn't based on what you had planned or wanted. It isn't dependent on nothing bad ever happening to you.

The eugenics angle to this turns my stomach. The same hypocritical prigs bringing it up will be the first in line to denounce less politically-correct forms of eugenics, though.

[diamond6]

Good post. You know, I just had a baby four months ago. I sit him on my lap, just awestruck at this little person. His little smiles just light up my life. I look at him and can not understand how anyone can be pro choice. I just don't understand it, especially people who love kids or who have children. People care more about protecting animals than these precious little innocents. The value of human life has been lowered to street scum, disposable like garbage. I just pray that these people have a change of heart. No matter how the life was brought into the world it is still a little child.
If I was a kid, and raped, to have an abortion would haunt me the rest of my life. There are studies that show depression, regret and suicide in women who have abortions. To give a child away to a loving family, you would have no post abortion trauma. Plus, you would have the satisfaction of taking a terrible wrong and making it right by preserving life and making a barren couple happy.
Those are just my thoughts.

[diamond6]

I would like to make an additional comment. The actual "act" of abortion, is so horrific and violent, especially partial birth, I would be willing to be, if you televised an actual abortion where people would see what is actually happening, I bet the percentage of those that are for it would drastically decline. How can anyone with a conscience, condone partial birth abortion. I heard of an account of a nurse who assisted at a partial birth, and she saw the baby was clenching its little fists during the procedure because it was in so much pain. So evil! If that isn't evil, than I don't know what is. The nurse quit after that. I just want to cry right now thinking about her testimony.

[AuH2ORepublican]

You're absolutely right on all counts. The mere fact that kids nowadays have grown up with ultrasound have turned the tide towards respect for life from the moment of conception. If people knew what they were actually endorsing by being "pro-choice," I don't see how anybody could continue to see this as a choice, not a child.

God bless you and your baby.

[AuH2ORepublican]

You're absolutely right on all counts. The mere fact that kids nowadays have grown up with ultrasound have turned the tide towards respect for life from the moment of conception. If people knew what they were actually endorsing by being "pro-choice," I don't see how anybody could continue to see this as a choice, not a child.

God bless you and your baby.

[Campion]

I was and am Catholic. At that time, the church taught that if there was a problem with childbirth, the baby should be saved, and not the wife.

The church has never taught that, and there was no change in official teaching since the time you describe.

The teaching is very simple, although the application isn't. You can't save the mother by intentionally killing the baby. You can't save the baby by intentionally killing the mother. You can perform medical procedures whose intent is to save the life of the mother, even if they inadvertently but unavoidably cost the life of the child.

[babygene]

" So I guess you have to go after the author to stop the abuse of his mother? Get real. Yes, a woman will have to bear a child for nine months that she didn't choose. Guess what: it happens all the time, even with married people. Moral people for whom murder is not an option just deal with it as they always have. Immoral people kill because they can get away with it."

Your response makes no sense to me. What do you mean "go after the author"?

Abortion is the killing. Killing can be murder as it is with most abortions, or it can be manslaughter, or self-defense.

One can take the position that killing in self defense is the same as murder, but that is an extreme position that is not shared by me, or 99 percent of the Christians of various faiths.

When people in the pro-life movment take the extreme position that a child should not be aborted to protect the women's life, they do harm to the pro-life movment. The result of this extreemism is that more babies are aborted. Understand, the number of cases where the women's life is at risk is very, very small in this country.

A tubular pregnancy, for instance, without an abortion will end in the death of the mother. Assuming (as I do) that life begins at conception, this abortion takes a childs life. How would you handle this? Let the mother die?

If you don't support abortions to save the life of the mother, you must. Unless you think there is a middle ground where sometimes it's acceptable... or would be for you.

I am very much pro life. To the extent that I would like to see women who have abortions charged with and prosicuted and jailed for life for murder, along with the doctors that preformed them just nas in any other homicide case. However, self defense is not murder. Never has been, never will be...

Would I personally kill someone that was going to do me bodly harm, but short of taking my life? Probably not. but I would be justified in doing so if I did. The standard for someone doing bodly harm to my wife or daughter or grand daughter would be much lower.

[babygene]

" The church has never taught that, and there was no change in official teaching since the time you describe."

Oh yes it has... This is exactly what was described to my wife by our parish priest before the birth of my oldest son 34 years ago.

[k2blader]

Pro-Life bump!

[hopespringseternal]

Your response makes no sense to me. What do you mean "go after the author"?

Maybe you should have read the article, then your own post: The fact is that the rapest attack the female, and the rapest's sperm attack her egg...

The author of the article was conceived as a result of a rape.

I never said anything about the life of the mother, nor did you in your previous post. I can't fathom why you are bringing it up now either.

[diamond6]

Thank you, and you as well. There is a great pro life site called www.lifedynamics.com. I discovered this site from Free Republic. It details how abortion is going down because fewer doctors, I mean quacks, are performing them. Can you imagine an abortionist getting ready for work in the morning, what is going through their minds. Ok honey, I'm off to work, I have five abortions set for today. See you tonite. Yeeccchhhhhhhhhhh.
I really really recommend this site, it will encourage you so much.

[babygene]

" I never said anything about the life of the mother, nor did you in your previous post. I can't fathom why you are bringing it up now either."

The central point in all of my posts, starting with #5, has been that the rape of an adolescent provides her with an unacceptable risk to her life in carrying the child to term. This is a risk that she as a victim of rape should not have to bare. The risk may vary with her age and maturity, but it is there.

She does, after all, have a right to protect herself.

[BibChr]

The central point in all of my posts, starting with #5, has been that the rape of an adolescent provides her with an unacceptable risk to her life in carrying the child to term. This is a risk that she as a victim of rape should not have to bare. The risk may vary with her age and maturity, but it is there. She does, after all, have a right to protect herself.

What I'm wondering is, why not kill both the woman and the child?

I truly look forward to your answer.

Dan

[diamond6]

What documentation do you have that proves a "minor" carrying a child would endanger her life. That is hogwash! If a woman is menstruating, her body is ready to carry a child, otherwise, menses would never occur. I'd also like to know where are the parents of a nine year old when this rape is happening.

[diamond6]

You know what is sad? A female "animal" typically guards her young ferociously i.e. bears, lions, alligators. Animals treat their young better than some humans do. So very sad :(