Nigerian Scam Artist Wants To Buy Brooklyn Bridge From Me!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I actually got one of those Nigerian scam artists interested in buying the Brooklyn Bridge from me. First let us take a trip down memory lane with his original e-mail to me which I posted on this THREAD and which I reprint below:

I am Mr. Martin Uche Senior Manager accounts/audit department, in (UNION BANK OF NIGERIA PLC) Mr. Mark johnson a national of your country, who was a consultant with Shell-development Company in Nigeria and a personal friend Died and left behind his deposit in my finance house(UNION BANK OF NIGERIA PLC) valued at $7,753,000.00 (Seven Million Seven Hundred and Fifty Three Thousand United States Dollars Only). My relationship with Mr. Mark started in 1992 when I was a supervisor in UNION BANK OF NIGERIA PLC , Marina branch.

We met in my social club's annual end of the year party and I introduced him to my bank where he opened this account some few weeks later making me the account officer to the account which he operated until his unfortunate demise. On the 1st of June 2001, Mr. Mark, his wife and their three children were involved in a car accident . All occupants of the vehicle unfortunately lost their lives. Since then I have made several enquiries to locate any of Mr. Mark's extended relatives this has also proved unsuccessful. After these several unsuccessful attempts, to locate any member of his family hence I contacted you. I am contacting you to assist in repatriating the money left behind by Mr. Mark before they get confiscated since the bank has declared the account unserviceable. I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives for over 2years since I was recalled back to Marina Branch as a Senior Manager from a transfer that took me to another branch of the bank.

I therefore seek your consent to present you as the next of kin of the deceased, so that the proceeds of this account valued at $7,753,000.00 (Seven Million Seven Hundred and Fifty Three Thousand United States Dollars Only) can be paid to you and then you and I can share the money. 70% to me and 30% to you. I have access to all necessary legal documents that can be used to back up any claim we may make.

All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us see this deal through. I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law. Please get in touch with me through my email or phone and send to me your full name telephone and fax numbers to enable us discuss further about this transaction.

Mr. Uche---Small world. I actually knew Mark Johnson years ago and boffed his wife on a couple of occasions. Therefore I am deeply grieved to learn of their demise.

As to the $7,753,000.00 to be paid to me, I prefer they be first used to purchase the new Brooklyn Bridge Transit Bonds. I currently own $18 million of these bonds and they have paid me 15% yearly interest since I purchased them nearly 3 years ago. These bonds are being used for the renovation of the Brooklyn Bridge and commencing in 2004, tolls will be charged for crossing the Brooklyn Bridge. This is why such a high rate of interest is being paid on these bonds which are backed up by the Brooklyn Bridge as collateral.

Please contact me about investing the $7,753,000.00 into the Brooklyn Bridge Transit Bonds. If you have any other capital available, I would suggest you invest that into these bonds as well.

I am looking forward to our joint ownership of the Brooklyn Bridge Transit Bonds. Thank You.---P.J.

Think this reply above was too much over the edge? Well, guess what? Mr. Uche has replied and has expressed interest in buying the Brooklyn Bridge from me. Here is the reply I recieved just a few minutes ago:

Thanks very much for your prompt reply to me to my mail and your suggestion is highly welcome. To enable proceed with the transfer of the fund, I will appreciate if you contact me who will handle the transaction on your behalf.

He is Barrister Richard Obi by name and is email address is bar2richardobi@justice.com for the transfer to take place a letter of administration and the death Certificate of the late Mr. M. Johnson has to be obtained the lawyer and a sworn affidavit change of ownership in your favour.

I will appreciate if you forward to the lawyer as a mater of urgency your full name, Telephone/ Fax numbers and your full home/official address to enable him proceed further. The letter of administration and death certificate of the late Mr. Johnson shall be forwarded to you for your perusal. When finally obtained by the lawyer.

I sincerely hope to invest my share into the Brooklyn Bridge Transit Bonds as you have said, as we shall be working as partners. You can also contact the lawyer through his cell phone number 234-804-2106115for further discussions.

The person handling the transaction on my behalf is my Columbian business associate, Mr. Marco Traficante of the Coca-Eena Importing Company. He will be traveling to Nigeria next month and will conduct the transaction for the Brooklyn Bridge Transit Bonds in which you have expressed an interest in purchasing.

While he is there, Mr. Traficante will be investigating the market for opening up a Hooters franchise in Nigeria. Have you ever been to a Hooters Restaurant? They serve the most excellent chicken wings there and I think this restaurant would be very popular in your country. Here in the USA, Hooters Restaurant with its owl theme is very popular, perhaps because we revere owls so much over here. Did you know that we even forbid the construction of some dams here because they might harm the habitat of spotted owls? Also all the waitresses must have large eyes to go with the owl theme of the Hooters restaurant (owls are also known as Hooters).

Would you also be interested in becoming our Nigerian partner of the Hooters restaurant? The main thing, in addition to serving up the most excellent chicken wings, is to ensure that all the waitresses have very large eyes to go with the owl theme.

Please let me know if you can meet with Mr. Marco Traficante when he arrives in Nigeria. Thanx.---P.J.

Here is the first of the letters from Friar Tuck to Rev. Rufus Adams. But you must go to the WEBSITE to read ALL of the e-mails. HILARIOUS!!!

Dear Reverend Adams,

I have been entreated by the supreme council of the monastery to respond to a letter we received from his excellency, Chief Olusegun Obasanjo, the President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

It has been an ongoing source of concern to us that a business deal entered in to by our late bursar, Friar Ignatius Spittle, (God rest his tortured soul) has remained unresolved for so long.

The letter from his Excellency gives us hope that you will be able to resolve the issue. Please advise me as to how we proceed from here.

God speed you in your endeavours,

Bless you Sir,

I remain, your humble servant,

Friar Tuck.

Here is another of Friar Tuck's e-mails:

Dear Reverend Adams,

Thank you for your letter.

The Order of Nasturtium Monks is a silent order and we do not speak apart from an hour set aside for this purpose every year on the first of April.

Consequently we do not use telephones. However this restriction does not apply to the written word. Happily the days of illuminated script on vellum are long gone and in a concession to the technological age we are permitted to use faxes and email.

Our fax number is +613 9326 5378. It is, of course, a 24hr fax.

With regard to the details of the transaction, I was rather hoping that you may know them. As the President himself interested himself in our remuneration and there cannot be too many pipelines laid in Nigeria I felt that you would be able to identify our claim. Would it help if I wrote directly to his Excellency? He said that you would look after the settlement of our claim.

Sadly, the most untimely death of Friar Spittle has left us a little uninformed. He was in sole charge of the transaction. I understand that he had recently made a payment from our funds allocated for renewing reserves of sack cloth and ashes to someone in Lagos (Mr Okafor? That name sounds familiar). The payment was for some sort of tax bill.

Please advise me as to whether this is sufficient information. If it is not I will try to find out some more.

God bless you,

I remain, your humble servant,

Friar Tuck.

Here is my newest letter from Nigeria which I received this morning and my short response:

F*ck yourself.

----- Original Message ----- From: "Raymond B. Dopesi" Sent: Tuesday, February 25, 2003 11:01 AM Subject: ASSISTANCE REQUEST FROM:Raymond B. Dopesi Stanbic Bank Nigeria Ltd, Victoria Island branch EMAIL:raymondbabs@latinmail.com Greetings! My name is Raymond B. Dopesi, Bank manager of Stanbic Bank Nigeria Ltd,Victoria Island branch, Nigeria; and for reasons which will become obvious to you as you read on,I obtained your address particulars from an Internet address listing. Please exercise some patience and read through my message. THIS IS NOT A SPAM MAIL! I have a very urgent and confidential business proposition for you. On June 6th 1997,an Oil Consultant/Contractor with the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation, Mr. Ahmed Youseff Mustafa ,a national of Iraq, made a numbered time ( fixed) deposit for 12 calendar months, value USD30,000,000.00 in my branch. On maturity, we sent a routine notification to his forwarding address but got no reply.After a month,we sent a reminder and finally, his contract employers, the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation ( NNPC) wrote to inform us that Mr. A. Y Mustafa died from an automobile accident. At first I was surprised that I did not receive much official cooperation in my inquiries in order to trace his kin in Iraq, and inform them about Mr. Mustafa's deposit of USD30m plus accrued interest. I therefore made further investigations and discovered that Mr.Mustafa had actively opposed the Government of President Saddam Hussein of Iraq, and was consequently driven into exile. Being an Oil Expert,he subsequently obtained a job with the NNPC, and settled in Nigeria. Thereafter, he walked into my Office to make the aforementioned deposit of USD30m. He did not declare any kin in his application paperwork, contrary to laid down procedures, and when I asked him he informed me that he wished it so.I accepted his application because banks are conservative and will always honor a customer's wishes,especially high networth customers.No one knows the source of his money because apparently the time frame of his employment with the NNPC does indeed preclude such a large amount of money. It can be assumed that he brought his money over from Iraq,but that is open to speculation. However, the point is that his employers are not aware of this money ,and therefore it can be safely assumed that no one will ever come forward to claim this money.This money total USD31.m ( inclusive of accrued interests) is still sitting in my Bank in the Dormant Account Portfolio.No one will ever come forward to claim it now, and according to Nigerian law, after 5 years, the money will automatically revert to the Federal Government Treasury if the Account owneris a foreigner, is certified dead ,and there is no valid claim. This indeed, is the situation. My proposal therefore is that I am looking for a foreigner who will stand in as the next of kin to Mr. Mustafa. It is not necessary to be a blood relation to Mr. Mustafa, nor have the same name.I have worked out the modalities to achieve my aim of appointing a next of kin,and also by this means to transfer this money total USD31.m abroad for us to share. The method of achieving the objective of transferring this money abroad in a completely legal and proper way is simple. I intend to use an Attorney(representing you as BENEFICIARY) to execute a series of affidavits in support of your claim.These will be approved.The money transfer paperwork itself will include a certificate of origin so that the receiving bank does not ask questions or refuse the money as money laundering. Also, the paperwork will include proper certification that the funds being transferred are from non criminal sources. In short this will be a proper and legal money transfer and there is no risk! I will have to process the initial paperwork to obtain approval from the Probate Registry (Ministry of Justice )to obtain the Letter of Administration empowering you as Sole trustee/executor to the Estate of Mr.Mustafa. If you therefore agree to be the official Beneficiary,then please note that you will not be required to sign any Money Transfer Documents( my Attorney will do all that), you will also not be required to come to Nigeria.Only the following is required from you: (1) Your full name,date of birth,address , phone and fax numbers (2) Brief background information on you(to satisfy me of your eligibility) Once you send me the requested information as above, I will initiate the processing of the transfer and in about 14 working days the money total USD31.m will be in your nominated bank account for us to share inthe ratio of 80% for me and 20% for you.This transaction is guaranteed to succeed without any problems.If you agree to assist me by sending me the above requested information,upon receipt of which I shall furnish you with my complete address,including phone/ fax etc and any further clarifications you may require. Looking forward to your urgent reply. Yours truly Raymond B. Dopesi Email:raymondbabs@latinmail.com This E-mail and any attachments may contain information that is confidential or privileged, and is intended solely for the use of the named recipient. If you are not the intended recipient, please be aware that any disclosure, copying, distribution or any action taken is prohibited and may be unlawful. Any opinions expressed are those of the author and not necessarily the view of the Council.

From the Wilberforce Harrington-Smythe reverse scam:

My Dear Mrs Chile,

Lamentably the pictures you promised would appear to have been lost in transit as they failed to arrive safely at this end. A most unsatisfactory state of affairs as I was quite looking forward to seeing them.

I have attached a photo of myself. It is naturally quite unflattering as all photos of me are, but was taken by a reporter at the recent Highland Pelargonium Yodelling Fest where my entry, Divine Epiglottis ('Gnasher') won 'Most lascivious' in the 130 decibel and over freestyle caterwauling division. This caused that bounder and scoundrel Col. Michael Fitzherbert (closely attended by his cold fish of a manservant, Herbert Fitzmichael) to storm off in a huff saying the whole thing was fixed when his entry, Toolangi Supreme Tungsten Tonsils, came a dismal second.

But I must be boring you terribly.

Please resend your photos at your first opportunity,

Yours sincerely,

Willy

I think the picture he sent to her was of the actor that plays Rumpole of The Bailey.

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