Nigerian Scam Artist Wants To Buy Brooklyn Bridge From Me!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

E-Mail | February 24, 2002 | PJ-Comix

[Revolting cat!]

Dude, this is definitely material for a book! Do you remember The Lazlo Letters by Don Novello? I've been waiting 20 years for a sequel!

[N. Theknow]

I had tears in my eyes the first time I read Friar Tuck.

Here is the web site where all of the reverse scams are archived and also a link to the main page shows reverse scams that are "In Progress". Friar Tuck is No. 12 on the list of the ones in "Archive". #24, Hu Flung Dung, the Chinese Restauranteur is also a priceless one.

Reverse Scam Link Here!

One of the better ones In Progress, Rogan Josh, had a meeting set up with a scam artist in Ghana and the respondent said he was at the hotel waiting, but should he be seeing snow out his hotel window or was something wrong. The Kris Kringle one is also very good.

[PJ-Comix]

Here is the first of the letters from Friar Tuck to Rev. Rufus Adams. But you must go to the WEBSITE to read ALL of the e-mails. HILARIOUS!!!

Dear Reverend Adams,

I have been entreated by the supreme council of the monastery to respond to a letter we received from his excellency, Chief Olusegun Obasanjo, the President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

It has been an ongoing source of concern to us that a business deal entered in to by our late bursar, Friar Ignatius Spittle, (God rest his tortured soul) has remained unresolved for so long.

The letter from his Excellency gives us hope that you will be able to resolve the issue. Please advise me as to how we proceed from here.

God speed you in your endeavours,

Bless you Sir,

I remain, your humble servant,

Friar Tuck.

[N. Theknow]

Some of these also have fake newspaper obituaries or news articles which the respondent has sent to the scammers. This can brighten even the sorriest day.

Thankfully I am not cubicle bound or any coworkers would question my sanity. Of course everyone already does but that's another story......

[PJ-Comix]

Here is another of Friar Tuck's e-mails:

Dear Reverend Adams,

Thank you for your letter.

The Order of Nasturtium Monks is a silent order and we do not speak apart from an hour set aside for this purpose every year on the first of April.

Consequently we do not use telephones. However this restriction does not apply to the written word. Happily the days of illuminated script on vellum are long gone and in a concession to the technological age we are permitted to use faxes and email.

Our fax number is +613 9326 5378. It is, of course, a 24hr fax.

With regard to the details of the transaction, I was rather hoping that you may know them. As the President himself interested himself in our remuneration and there cannot be too many pipelines laid in Nigeria I felt that you would be able to identify our claim. Would it help if I wrote directly to his Excellency? He said that you would look after the settlement of our claim.

Sadly, the most untimely death of Friar Spittle has left us a little uninformed. He was in sole charge of the transaction. I understand that he had recently made a payment from our funds allocated for renewing reserves of sack cloth and ashes to someone in Lagos (Mr Okafor? That name sounds familiar). The payment was for some sort of tax bill.

Please advise me as to whether this is sufficient information. If it is not I will try to find out some more.

God bless you,

I remain, your humble servant,

Friar Tuck.

[537 Votes]

Someday we're going to see an article in The Onion about how some guy actually did get millions from a former Nigerian official. "My friends all said it was a scam, but I thought, what if it isn't? After Mr. Uche transferred the millions of dollars over to my bank account, he mentioned that he must have sent the e-mail out to millions of people for years and years, but I was the first who took him seriously, and for that he was eternally grateful."

[PJ-Comix]

Did "Friar Tuck" make up that kidnapping news article on his computer?

[N. Theknow]

Affirmative.

[N. Theknow]

Have you gotten to the 18th epistle yet, where the "s" and the "f" on his keyboard are screwed up?

[PJ-Comix]

It's hard to beat the Friar Tuck correspondence with Rev. Rufus Adams but I want to take it to another level. I would love to get a TV program interested in videotaping the antics of these scam artists. I would actually send airline tickets and a small amount of expense money (provided by the TV show) to the Nigerian scammer. That should be enough to encourage him to come over here in the hopes of greater riches which he hopes to scam off me. But all the time I will be putting him through increasingly difficult hoops (see my idea above about a grand banquet serving up cheap wine and horrible food). Of course, my mark will receive official looking Brooklyn Bridge Transit Bonds but, in addition, I will endeavor to get him to Duck Waddle across the real Brooklyn Bridge (don't worry, I'll think up some reason for him to do it). And ALL this would be recorded on video for our TV entertainment. I see this as the GREATEST comedy show of all time!!!

[PJ-Comix]

Have you gotten to the 18th epistle yet, where the "s" and the "f" on his keyboard are screwed up?

Yup! And I am waiting for the next epistle since it seems the scam artist still hasn't gotten a clue as to what is going on.

[aCDNinUSA]

Here is my newest letter from Nigeria which I received this morning and my short response:

F*ck yourself.

----- Original Message ----- From: "Raymond B. Dopesi" Sent: Tuesday, February 25, 2003 11:01 AM Subject: ASSISTANCE REQUEST FROM:Raymond B. Dopesi Stanbic Bank Nigeria Ltd, Victoria Island branch EMAIL:raymondbabs@latinmail.com Greetings! My name is Raymond B. Dopesi, Bank manager of Stanbic Bank Nigeria Ltd,Victoria Island branch, Nigeria; and for reasons which will become obvious to you as you read on,I obtained your address particulars from an Internet address listing. Please exercise some patience and read through my message. THIS IS NOT A SPAM MAIL! I have a very urgent and confidential business proposition for you. On June 6th 1997,an Oil Consultant/Contractor with the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation, Mr. Ahmed Youseff Mustafa ,a national of Iraq, made a numbered time ( fixed) deposit for 12 calendar months, value USD30,000,000.00 in my branch. On maturity, we sent a routine notification to his forwarding address but got no reply.After a month,we sent a reminder and finally, his contract employers, the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation ( NNPC) wrote to inform us that Mr. A. Y Mustafa died from an automobile accident. At first I was surprised that I did not receive much official cooperation in my inquiries in order to trace his kin in Iraq, and inform them about Mr. Mustafa's deposit of USD30m plus accrued interest. I therefore made further investigations and discovered that Mr.Mustafa had actively opposed the Government of President Saddam Hussein of Iraq, and was consequently driven into exile. Being an Oil Expert,he subsequently obtained a job with the NNPC, and settled in Nigeria. Thereafter, he walked into my Office to make the aforementioned deposit of USD30m. He did not declare any kin in his application paperwork, contrary to laid down procedures, and when I asked him he informed me that he wished it so.I accepted his application because banks are conservative and will always honor a customer's wishes,especially high networth customers.No one knows the source of his money because apparently the time frame of his employment with the NNPC does indeed preclude such a large amount of money. It can be assumed that he brought his money over from Iraq,but that is open to speculation. However, the point is that his employers are not aware of this money ,and therefore it can be safely assumed that no one will ever come forward to claim this money.This money total USD31.m ( inclusive of accrued interests) is still sitting in my Bank in the Dormant Account Portfolio.No one will ever come forward to claim it now, and according to Nigerian law, after 5 years, the money will automatically revert to the Federal Government Treasury if the Account owneris a foreigner, is certified dead ,and there is no valid claim. This indeed, is the situation. My proposal therefore is that I am looking for a foreigner who will stand in as the next of kin to Mr. Mustafa. It is not necessary to be a blood relation to Mr. Mustafa, nor have the same name.I have worked out the modalities to achieve my aim of appointing a next of kin,and also by this means to transfer this money total USD31.m abroad for us to share. The method of achieving the objective of transferring this money abroad in a completely legal and proper way is simple. I intend to use an Attorney(representing you as BENEFICIARY) to execute a series of affidavits in support of your claim.These will be approved.The money transfer paperwork itself will include a certificate of origin so that the receiving bank does not ask questions or refuse the money as money laundering. Also, the paperwork will include proper certification that the funds being transferred are from non criminal sources. In short this will be a proper and legal money transfer and there is no risk! I will have to process the initial paperwork to obtain approval from the Probate Registry (Ministry of Justice )to obtain the Letter of Administration empowering you as Sole trustee/executor to the Estate of Mr.Mustafa. If you therefore agree to be the official Beneficiary,then please note that you will not be required to sign any Money Transfer Documents( my Attorney will do all that), you will also not be required to come to Nigeria.Only the following is required from you: (1) Your full name,date of birth,address , phone and fax numbers (2) Brief background information on you(to satisfy me of your eligibility) Once you send me the requested information as above, I will initiate the processing of the transfer and in about 14 working days the money total USD31.m will be in your nominated bank account for us to share inthe ratio of 80% for me and 20% for you.This transaction is guaranteed to succeed without any problems.If you agree to assist me by sending me the above requested information,upon receipt of which I shall furnish you with my complete address,including phone/ fax etc and any further clarifications you may require. Looking forward to your urgent reply. Yours truly Raymond B. Dopesi Email:raymondbabs@latinmail.com This E-mail and any attachments may contain information that is confidential or privileged, and is intended solely for the use of the named recipient. If you are not the intended recipient, please be aware that any disclosure, copying, distribution or any action taken is prohibited and may be unlawful. Any opinions expressed are those of the author and not necessarily the view of the Council.

[N. Theknow]

I would certainly watch it!

Mr favorite "Psalm" from Friar Tuck:

He spake, and the locusts came, and caterpillars, and that without number.

-Psalms 105:34

[PJ-Comix]

I loved this Friar Tuck response from the 7th Epistle:

Dear Brother,

I have read your missive and understand what you are saying.

The issue causing some concern to the council is the fact that we would appear to have made a number of payments that were touted as being "the last and only payment required" and yet the transaction still lingers on.

We understand that we may incur some incidentals. That is the very nature of business transactions. We are just keen to learn when the final reckoning is likely to occur.

On a different front: What is your denomination? I mean, what arm of the greater church body do you give your allegiance?

It is a special time of the year for us. We are bottling our world famous liqueur. Perhaps you have heard of it? It is called Sherwood Green. It is quite a lethal drop if you are not ready for it. When all this is over my brothers and I would like to share a glass with you, to celebrate a job well done. Are you permitted alcohol, Reverend Rufus?

It is time for vespers, I must away.

God bless you, Reverend Adams. I remain, your humble servant,

Friar Augustus Tuck.

[N. Theknow]

From the Wilberforce Harrington-Smythe reverse scam:

My Dear Mrs Chile,

Lamentably the pictures you promised would appear to have been lost in transit as they failed to arrive safely at this end. A most unsatisfactory state of affairs as I was quite looking forward to seeing them.

I have attached a photo of myself. It is naturally quite unflattering as all photos of me are, but was taken by a reporter at the recent Highland Pelargonium Yodelling Fest where my entry, Divine Epiglottis ('Gnasher') won 'Most lascivious' in the 130 decibel and over freestyle caterwauling division. This caused that bounder and scoundrel Col. Michael Fitzherbert (closely attended by his cold fish of a manservant, Herbert Fitzmichael) to storm off in a huff saying the whole thing was fixed when his entry, Toolangi Supreme Tungsten Tonsils, came a dismal second.

But I must be boring you terribly.

Please resend your photos at your first opportunity,

Yours sincerely,

Willy

I think the picture he sent to her was of the actor that plays Rumpole of The Bailey.

[rockrr]

Dang me!
Where do I sign up for my share? Come on, time's a'wastin!

[Terriergal]

You know, if you string this along for about 20 letters or so, you could make a book out of it. This is hilarious!

OH PLEASE DO!!!

[Terriergal]

You should really inform the FBI about them... I had heard something about these scammers on the news a while back.

[F.J. Mitchell]

LOL! And I've been merely erasing Mr. Uche's e-mail. THanks to you, the guy is now worth millions.....millions of laughs that is.

[Lurking Libertarian]

Brooklyn Bridge ping.