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Al Franken’s Suicide Mission: Liberals can’t do talk radio
NRO ^ | 2/21/2003 | Jonah Goldberg

Posted on 02/22/2003 10:51:18 PM PST by Utah Girl

A group of investors want to turn Al Franken into the Left's Rush Limbaugh. To be accurate, the venture's backers don't want to mimic Limbaugh — not because that would be a bad thing, mind you, but because it's been tried so many times before and it didn't work. Jim Hightower, a man liberals believed would be regarded as brilliant if they just said he was enough times, failed miserably at talk radio. Mario Cuomo, a man who believed the world would consider him incredibly brilliant if he just said he was enough times, also botched his go at talk radio. "This side has failed by going at Rush, and trying to be Rush — you're not going to beat him at his game," Jon Sinton, a radio exec and organizer of the effort explained to the New York Times.

Meanwhile, Al Franken the author of Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot thinks there's another reason for not trying to ape Rush. "I think the audience isn't there for a liberal Rush," he said on the Donahue show, "Because I think liberals don't want to hear that kind of demagoguery." Maybe it's me, but this sounds a bit like Ron Jeremy, star of such hits as The Lust of Blacula and Dirty Harriet, saying "I think the audience isn't there for cheap porn."

Franken & Co. do believe that the one trick to effectively getting political commentary across on the radio is to be entertaining. "What really makes this work," Sinton told the Times, "is tapping into Hollywood and New York and having a huge entertainment component, where political sarcasm is every bit as effective as Rush Limbaugh is at bashing you over the head." Of course, when he says "entertaining" he means funny. After all, Franken won't be singing — or, alas, miming — his commentary.

Of course, Franken, for all his fame as the Left's answer to about 50 different people and his reputation as a comic genius not paralleled since Larry Storch had us all in stitches, is actually a very bad judge of the zeitgeist. For example, during his Big Fat Idiot tour, Franken was asked in an interview with Mother Jones about how "it's hard for liberals to be funny, because they're so earnest." Franken responded, "I hadn't really thought of that until this book. I thought of most comedians as liberal, most people in show business are liberal. But when the book came out, people said to me, 'Thank God, finally, a funny liberal.' And I'm going 'Liberals aren't funny? I thought we were. Oh, I guess we aren't.'"

Ah, yes. This man has his finger on the pulse of a nation.

There are lots of reasons why liberals don't work well on talk radio. Some of it has to do with the fact that the market for conservative talk has been carefully developed. When they rolled out Jim Hightower, according to Mr. Sinton, they tended to sandwich him in-between Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh. "That violates expectations of the listener," he told the Times. This is a polite way of saying that listeners reacted the way members of Delta House did when Flounder's picture appeared on the screen during pledge week.

Another reason why talk radio is right-wing is that most of America, or talk-radio-listening America, believes the mainstream media is liberal. They believe this because, well, it's true. And talk radio serves as a truth squad for people who don't trust Peter Jennings. Sure, the press isn't as liberal as Eric Alterman and the guys at The Nation would like it to be, but then again the Democratic party isn't as liberal as The Nation would like it to be. In other words, if you think Dick Gephardt, Joe Lieberman, and John Kerry are too right-wing, of course you're going to think the New York Times isn't liberal.

But let's not squabble about the liberal-media thing. Been there, done that, got the snow globe.

What's funny is that Franken's backers are banking on precisely what Franken shockingly didn't know until recently: Conservatives are more entertaining than liberals. Oh, of course it's true that professional — and very funny — entertainers and comedy writers tend to be liberal. But the key here is that they are professional entertainers, not professional liberals. And therein lies all the difference.

Franken is on to something when he says that liberals aren't interested in the sort of demagoguery provided by Limbaugh. That's not because liberals don't like demagoguery. They love demagoguery. They love hatchet jobs, low blows, cheap shots, and character assassination even more than conservatives do (and there are certainly more than a few conservatives into that sort of thing). When every day we hear another comparison between Bush and Hitler; when conservatives are likened to Klansmen, the mentally retarded and the Taliban; when the Democratic party sponsors ads saying that a vote for a Republican is a vote for church burnings, hate crimes, and organized murder; when every Republican economic policy is attributed to personal greed and every foreign policy is attributed to a hodgepodge of sins including, (again) greed ,racism, and vanity; it becomes very difficult to take Franken seriously when he says that his listeners aren't interested in demagoguery.

No, the problem for liberals is that their "movement" extends to virtually every boutique victim group under the sun. I don't just mean blacks, Hispanics, gays, women (roughly two thirds of the population right there), but pretty much anyone with a grievance. Even white guys can join the club if they complain about not getting enough workman's comp or about Gulf War syndrome. Liberalism has become a politics of complaint. In a sense, that's fine because politics is largely about the adjudication of complaints. Lord knows conservatives have plenty of grievances too.

But the problem for liberals is that they are terrified of offending anybody in their own massive Coalition of the Oppressed. That pretty much leaves white Christian men, rich non-liberals, and maybe a handful of right-wing Jews and conservative women. And, I'm sorry Al, there's just not enough material there to be entertaining. Liberals have been feeding off of Whitey for so long they can see their reflections in the bones, they're so picked-clean. If Franken thinks that there are millions of people who want to listen to the same tired and lame laments about white folks every day for three hours, he's nuts.

For the record, I didn't make-up the phrase "coalition of the oppressed." I first saw it in a poster in Dupont Circle put up by animal-rights groups denouncing the "Gay Rodeo." It explained that rodeos demean horses and cattle and since these animals are equal members of the "Coalition of the Oppressed" gays should not contribute to their persecution.

Anyway, I guarantee you that if Franken were to make fun of activists from any number of constituencies — gays, Hispanics, blacks, animal-rights activists, environmentalists, fill in the blank — he would be inundated with gripes from his "base" saying "that's not funny!" And because he's such a nice tolerant, Upper West Side liberal, he'd have to listen, apologize, atone. This is one of the main reasons why professional liberals aren't funny: They are terrified of offending anybody even remotely "on their side." (Another reason is that liberals tend to believe they are on a mission to save the world and therefore there's simply no time for joking around.)

This is the peril of liberalism generally; it has become coalitional. It concerns itself with grievances, not ideas. So while liberal earnestness often stems from the groaning earnestness of liberals, it's also derived from the inability of liberals to speak plainly. I really learned this, I think, when I was on the board of trustees of my college. It was explained to me that "tolerance" had become an unacceptable term of bigotry because it implies merely "putting up with" various groups rather than fully accepting them.

Because they must, liberals have mastered this vocabulary and convinced themselves it's actually more sophisticated. They respect all sorts of false pieties which conservatives can poke fun of. They dance around politically correct landmines and confuse themselves for ballerinas. For example, when Mario Cuomo was asked on Donahue why conservatives do better on talk radio, he replied, "You see, look, they write their message with crayons. We use fine-point quills. We get a little bit more, I think — intellectual is not the right word…." Mario never told us what the "right word" is, but I think "condescending" would work just fine. Indeed, the fact that Donahue's nightly parade of clichés amounts to affirmative action for fossilized liberals should have been all the answer poor Phil needed.

There are other reasons why I think Franken will fail. He talks too slow. He's too dry and passionless. But, at the end of the day, he'll bomb because people don't want to hear what he has to say. And that says more about liberalism than it does about Al.


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To: Utah Girl

I'm good enough. I'm smart enough, and dog gone it, listeners to my future radio show will just HAVE to like me!--------won't they???

....Uh-Oh, back to my mirror!"

41 posted on 02/23/2003 6:50:20 AM PST by NordP (So glad there are adults in the White House, again!)
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To: eeman
What type of events do they have at the Gay Rodeo?

Bowel jousting?????

42 posted on 02/23/2003 7:02:23 AM PST by SunTzuWu
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To: Utah Girl
I think the sound bite for conservatives on this issue is: There is liberal talk radio, it is NPR and it uses MY money.
43 posted on 02/23/2003 7:04:13 AM PST by mlmr
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To: IncPen
'This is the peril of liberalism generally; it has become coalitional. It concerns itself with grievances, not ideas.'

Perfect summation of modern liberalism; please copy and disseminate....
44 posted on 02/23/2003 7:14:24 AM PST by BartMan1
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To: Utah Girl; Husker24; eeman; JoJo Gunn; WhyisaTexasgirlinPA

Liberals don't understand that talking about them, is the entertainment.

45 posted on 02/23/2003 7:21:21 AM PST by SeeRushToldU_So ( Something witty, etc, etc....)
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To: Slyfox
Liberals only know how to deal in ridicule.............. Rush Limbaugh and the whole "Right Wing" crew deal in satire.........

Good observation, I'd never thought of that before, but it's true.

Liberals don't have the intellectual capacity to create interesting satire.

46 posted on 02/23/2003 8:01:27 AM PST by Balding_Eagle
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To: enfield
Ask a liberal to tell you what he believes in 100 words, or less, and you'll have to cut him off half way through a "save the whales" tirade.

Ain't that the truth. Just yesterday I cautioned a liberal poster here at FR that if he wanted to stay undercover he'd have to learn how to get his digs in with fewer words.

47 posted on 02/23/2003 8:08:03 AM PST by Balding_Eagle
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To: Jhoffa_
>If you can be the man to give them superior arguments and talking points. Logical, methodical arguments with substance then they will love you. <

Liberal ideas are not based on logic, they're based on emotion.
That's why they fit so well on a bumper sticker.

Logic would tell you that more money is not the answer to better education, otherwise the D.C. area schools would be the best in the nation.

Logic would tell you that behavior change is the answer to the AIDS epidemic, not approval of the lifestyle.

Logic would reveal that the Kyoto Treaty is all about the U.S. paying 3rd world countries to pollute, while stifling U.S. transportation and industry. Logic would tell you this would not reduce the global level of pollution, but would increase it.

etc..........
48 posted on 02/23/2003 8:12:22 AM PST by G Larry ($10K gifts to John Thune before he announces!)
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To: Jhoffa_
If you can be the man to give them superior arguments and talking points. Logical, methodical arguments with substance then they will love you.

In the liberal world there is none of the above. The only way you can be a liberal is too rely upon fantasies and made up "facts."

49 posted on 02/23/2003 8:20:12 AM PST by saminfl
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To: Utah Girl
I'm getting the picture that Liberal talk-radio will be an adventure into Never-Never-Land. Dreams of utopia, and lolipop ships, government nannies from Hollywood reading scripts! What fun, I've had enough already.

Since liberals can't talk about who and what they really are, what else can they possibly do but fantasize and cover-up, lie, misreport, misrepresent, and all out misinform?

And furthermore, I do not see how advertisers, corporate sponsors are going to be willing to pay for getting their message out when most of the liberal host/audience has been indoctrinated into hating evil big business and enterprising entrepreneurs?

Rots of Ruck to them, and their station signals and rot gut blithering blather had better not interfere and gunk up the pure golden shining truth expressed by my conservative talk-show hosts.

50 posted on 02/23/2003 8:28:31 AM PST by harpo11 (United Nations is NOT united with America---Give 'em Hell 'W'!)
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To: Utah Girl
"There are other reasons why I think Franken will fail. He talks too slow. He's too dry and passionless. But, at the end of the day, he'll bomb because people don't want to hear what he has to say. And that says more about liberalism than it does about Al. "

There are a lot of conservative talk show hosts who although have a wonderful and clear message and voice fail too!

I heard Rush Limbaugh's substitute host, Tom Sullivan, who is good, but he does not generate the energy and enthusiastic spirit that Rush is a gifted natural.

Tom read a story about the 10 men who went to dinner and how they divided the bill in a similar fashion as how our IRS code dictates.

It was a good story, but when Rush returned from his recent 2 week vacation and read the same story, my gosh, he was magnificent because he has soul and passion that comes out of his voice like flames reaching out to touch you. He knows how to use his voice in a manner that entertains and grabs your attention in a colorful meaningful fashion.

What Rush has is a rare gift and no matter if you are conservative, fiercely independent, or liberal to rabid socialist-commie, you cannot last long without this wondrous gift that makes a listener look forward to hearing your program every day and miss you on the weekends, vacations, whatever, because listening to a program of this magnitude that evokes this binding camaraderie is like celebrating Christmas morning every day!

51 posted on 02/23/2003 8:41:28 AM PST by harpo11 (United Nations is NOT united with America---Give 'em Hell 'W'!)
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To: Utah Girl
Al Franken already had his fifteen minutes of fame with his book, which only sold because it had Rushes name in the title. Do the rules say we have to give him another fifteen minutes?
52 posted on 02/23/2003 8:52:18 AM PST by fish hawk
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To: eeman
"...What type of events do they have at the Gay Rodeo?..."

I think they put little saddles on each other, and then.........well, I can't describe it here, but somebody's having a ride..........FRegards

53 posted on 02/23/2003 9:09:03 AM PST by gonzo (Sometimes, your advantage is being crazier than a shit-house rat! No typing!.....)
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To: harpo11
THE BIGGEST REASON why liberal talk show radio cannot succeed is that liberals DON'T KNOW HOW TO LISTEN! Just look at what happened in the Nov. elections...history was made and the Dems lost the senate and what is their response? We didn't get our message out! WRONG...they were not LISTENING to the American people and in talk radio, in order to be successful like Rush, Sean, Hugh, etc. you have to be able to converse and listen to those who are your audience!
54 posted on 02/23/2003 9:17:03 AM PST by princess leah
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To: Utah Girl
I used to see Franken at Shakespeare Books on Upper Broadway back in the 80s when I lived on the upper west side.

He was quite genial to everyone...too bad he's actually a peckerhead.
55 posted on 02/23/2003 9:22:35 AM PST by wardaddy (The calm before the storm is in the air.....does anyone else feel it?)
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To: Slyfox
Very insight and well said.
56 posted on 02/23/2003 9:31:08 AM PST by Senator_Blutarski
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Comment #57 Removed by Moderator

To: Bernard

Well, Donahue is going to have plenty of time on his hands here shortly..

58 posted on 02/23/2003 9:48:20 AM PST by Jhoffa_ (Jhoffa_X)
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To: saminfl

Well, if his mission and the mission of his financers is to de-throne Rush.. Then that's what it's going to take, because I don't think spewing meanness or trying to do a stand up routine will accompish this.

They are just going to have to beat him.. If Franken can do that (and I have no idea how) then he will be the darling of the democrat party.

I am serious.. They will shower him with gifts of praise and free promotion for his show, books, etc, etc...

They will treat him like modern day royalty if he can beat Rush and take away their shame here.

IMHO.

59 posted on 02/23/2003 10:02:43 AM PST by Jhoffa_ (Jhoffa_X)
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To: Utah Girl
Liberals Can't Understand"Talk Radio"Nor Can They Succeed There!There Are Two Reasons For This;The First Is That Success On Talk Radio Means That Millions And Millions Of People Have To Tune In Regularly!!This Means That The Ad-Spaces Are Very Profitable.The Second Is That In Order To Attract A Huge Audience Of Regular Listeners,The Message Of The Program Must Be Attractive!!!I'm Certain That There Are More Elements Beyond The Grasp Of LiboCrite Boobs,But These Two Are The Most Prominent!!!!
60 posted on 02/23/2003 10:45:15 AM PST by bandleader
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