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LAUGH BREAK Bill, Tom and Teddy were sitting in a bar.......

Posted on 02/19/2003 7:40:27 AM PST by Liz

President Clinton, Sens Tom Daschle and Teddy Kennedy were sitting in a bar discussing their wives.

Teddy says, "I think my wife is fooling around on me. I went home the other day and found an empty fifth of Scotch whiskey and the Congressional Record under our bed. I think she's cheatin' on me with a damn Congressman!"

Tom said, " I think my wife is being unfaithful. The other day I went home and found bundles of unmarked hundred dollar bills and my Rolodex under our bed. I think she's cheatin' on me with a lobbyist!"

Bill joins in and says, "You think that's bad, when I got home I found a cowboy under my bed. My wife is cheatin' on me with a damn horse!"


TOPICS: Announcements; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS:

1 posted on 02/19/2003 7:40:27 AM PST by Liz
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To: Liz
Senator Ted Kennedy walks out of a bar.....hey, it can happen.
2 posted on 02/19/2003 7:42:21 AM PST by Lee Heggy ("A Frenchman's home is where another man's wife is." M. Twain)
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To: Liz
Hillary is a HOG!
3 posted on 02/19/2003 7:43:39 AM PST by blam
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To: Lee Heggy
Senator Ted Kennedy walks out of a bar.....hey, it can happen.

Yeah, and then it becomes one for Robert L. Ripley.

Michael M. Bates: My Side of the Swamp

4 posted on 02/19/2003 7:44:53 AM PST by mikeb704
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To: Liz
Bill joins in and says, "You think that's bad, when I got home I found a cowboy under my bed. My wife is cheatin' on me with a damn horse!"

"I'm begining to think too much sex is making me forgetful."

5 posted on 02/19/2003 7:47:53 AM PST by Dust in the Wind (¡Si usted permanece en este país, usted debe aprender es el idioma oficial!)
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To: Liz
Hillary cannot cheat sexually on her white collar crime partner, and Bill never cheated on her. This is only a business arrangement.
6 posted on 02/19/2003 7:48:19 AM PST by Blue Collar Christian (Okie by proxy, raised by Yankees, temporarily Californian)
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To: mikeb704
better joke...

"Teddy, Teddy, I think I'm pregnant, what shall I do?...!"

"Don't worry Mary Jo, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it"
7 posted on 02/19/2003 10:46:44 AM PST by Wil H
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To: Lee Heggy
....but only if he bought a couple of fifths "to go".......
8 posted on 02/19/2003 10:55:44 AM PST by Liz
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To: Lee Heggy
Senator Ted Kennedy walks out of a bar.....hey, it can happen.

Yeah, it's possible. That is how he goes from one bar to another.

9 posted on 02/19/2003 11:04:29 AM PST by PetroniDE (WAR ON !!!)
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To: Liz
President Clinton, Sens Tom Daschle and Teddy Kennedy were sitting in a bar discussing their wives...

Teddy says, "Mye waife haates Ameriker. She' wahnts to moove to Frahnce."

Tiny Tommy chirps, "Oh, yeah? Well, my wife hates America, too! She wants me to propose a bill that will ban all SUV's, grant amnesty to all illegals, AND raise the minimum wage to $15 an hour!"

"Hoh, man!" cried Bill, "Yor wahves ar' all stoopit. Mine hates America so much, that bein' a Senator ain't nearly enuf. She wahnts t'be Prez-E-dent, too!!!"

10 posted on 02/19/2003 9:24:53 PM PST by BradyLS
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To: BradyLS
Heheheh.
11 posted on 02/20/2003 2:16:27 AM PST by Liz
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To: Liz
A man was traveling in Europe. He received a phone call from, America that his father had taken deathly ill. His mother asked him to return home immediately to see his father for the last time.

As he got off the plane in New York to take the train, he realized that he had lost his passport.

He went through customs and was stopped by the customs agent. The agent said..."Sorry Sir but you must have some proof that you are who you say you are and an American citizen."

The traveler asked.." Please sir, allow me to pass. My father is dying and I want to see him."

The customs agent said..."Sorry, but in order to continue on, you must prove to me that you are a citizen of the USA."

The traveler then said..."Well, I can prove that I am a citizen."

He then pulled down his pants and on his left butt cheek he had a tattoo of Bill Clinton. On his right butt cheek he had a tattoo of Al Gore.

The customs agent was amazed. He said..." Oh sir, this is incredable.I've never seen such patriotism in all my life. Go on and I hope that everything is OK with your dad in Massachusets. "

The traveler amazed asked the agent,,," How did you know that I'm from Massachusets? "

The customs agent replied..." Well isn't that Ted Kennedy in the middle?"

12 posted on 02/20/2003 2:35:34 AM PST by Radioactive
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To: Radioactive; CARepubGal
Best Teddy joke I've ever heard (tears running down my face - jaws hurting from laughter).
13 posted on 02/20/2003 4:03:04 AM PST by Liz
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To: Radioactive
this is going to my address book. beautiful
14 posted on 02/20/2003 4:10:02 AM PST by retiredtexan
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To: Radioactive; metesky; Madame Dufarge; harpseal
FOFLMAO! That is hilarious!
15 posted on 02/20/2003 10:02:27 PM PST by CARepubGal
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To: Radioactive; Leisler
Bee-you-ti-ful!
16 posted on 02/21/2003 2:03:06 AM PST by metesky (My retirement fund is holding steady @ $.05 a can.)
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To: CARepubGal; Radioactive
Thanks for the ping CARepubGal.

Funny, funny!

17 posted on 02/21/2003 2:07:48 AM PST by Madame Dufarge
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To: Madame Dufarge
I though you guys would get a kick out of this post. SNL on the Comedy Channel reran Kennedy Jeopardy (Willie, Michael and Uncle Teddy were contestants‚. I about died laughing at the questions and answers from this unholy trio.
18 posted on 02/21/2003 6:13:29 PM PST by CARepubGal
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