Daschle says Americans need more than duct tape [Duct Tape-Gate?]

Reuters ^ | Thursday, February 13, 2003

[JohnHuang2]

WASHINGTON, Feb 12 (Reuters) - U.S. Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle said on Wednesday the Bush administration must do more to protect Americans against a suspected increased risk of terrorist attacks than urge them to seal a designated room with duct tape and plastic sheets. Continues.

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Duct Tape-Gate?

Senate anti-minority Minority Leader Tommy Daschle Wednesday took some timeout from his busy day blocking hispanics from the bench, resuming his duct tape-gate offensive which observers observe may have already yielded decisive results.

"The administration has to do better, they have to do a lot more than tell people that the responsibility is now on their shoulders!" screamed an angry Tommy yesterday.

Tommy, convinced he's finally landed a political winner, something that'll, um, stick, says he's on, um, a roll -- that is, so long as he doesn't, um, stretch the duct tape-gate thingy too far.

"If there's one adhesive that'll keep fractious Democrats glued together, it's duct tape-gate," a top Democrat Senate aid told me, adding "it keeps our party from cutting itself into strips. And -- the cotton mesh, the so-called 'backbone' of duct tape-gate, gives our party both strength and suppleness."

"The duct tape-gate theme lets us tightly wrap ourselves in the mantle of homeland security and stuff," said another aid.

At a press briefing, Tommy blasted the White House, chiding Bush for being short on specifics, asking "what good does it do to tell people to run out and buy duct tape without specifics, Mr. Bush?"

"What grade tape, Mr. Bush?" Tommy demanded. "Forty pound (40-lb)? Twenty-pound (20-lb)? And how thick? Sixty millimeter (60 millimeter)? Fifty-one millimeters (51 millimeter)? And what color, Mr. Bush? Yellow? Red? Black? Blue? White? And what brand tape? Memorex? Maxell? Sony? Or RCA?"

Daschle: "And why the fixation with duct tape, anyway? What's wrong with trying other tape -- aluminum foil-backed tape, for example? Or clear plastic tape? What about all-weather tape? Masking tape? And what kind of knife or scissor should you use to cut the tape? Stainless steel? Pocket knife? Or fixed blade? Kitchen knife? Or pruning knife?"

Daschle added that, besides, he doesn't think Bush has made his case that sealing windows and doors in a biological or chemical attack makes you any safer than keeping doors and windows wide open.

"Where's the evidence, Mr. Bush? Where's the proof that keeping those windows open poses an imminent threat?"

America, apparently heeding Tommy's advice to forget the duct tape, rushed to clear store shelves of the stuff as fast as they could, jacking up sales of duct tape, plastic sheeting and other emergency supplies across the country.

So, the ironic twist here is that Tommy Daschle, far from being irrelevant, is, in a negative sort of way, very relevant, indeed: If Daschle tells Americans to do such and such, people will scramble to do the very opposite.

But here's the baffling part: People stocked up on water without needing detailed instructions from FEMA on what brand name water they should buy or what constitutes a 3-day supply; stocked up on food without needing detailed instructions from FEMA on what kind of canned goods (Sardines or tuna? Soup or vegetables? Refried beans or pasta?) they should buy; stocked up on batteries without needing detailed instructions from Sec. Ridge on whether Duracell is better than Eveready better than Energizer etc.; stocked up on, well, you get the picture.

Anyway, that's...

My two cents...
"JohnHuang2"

[mhking]

Daschle is like the Energizer bunny. He keeps going and going and going and going and going and...

[NorseWood]

There Daschle goes, ducking the issues again. He is going to get into a very sticky situation

[JohnHuang2]

Re: #19 -- Hope you don't mind me borrowing your graphic...couldn't resist...hehe

[JohnHuang2]

He keeps going and going and going and going and going and

Yep, and he keeps going nowhere, in a hurry! ;^)

[HumanaeVitae]

"Daschle says Americans need more than duct tape."

In related news, Richard Gere commented that Americans need both duct tape and gerbils. For what, he would not say.

[JohnHuang2]

LOL, he's wrapping himself into a corner this time...

[mamarainsberry]

ewww...isn't there a bad pun alert on this website ;)

[JohnHuang2]

lol

[JohnHuang2]

It is a duct Tape-Gap not a Duct Tape-Gate.

Well, I stand corrected ... Quack! Quack! ;^)

[JohnHuang2]

lol

[blackdog]

Anything that causes Americans to do something, anything, at all, is a good thing. If it means buying duct tape and plastic, well that's fine. Anyone knows you can never have too much of either.

Duct tape buying is a small baby-step toward buying ammunition, kerosene heater, a damn fine knife, a pair of binoculars, road flares, trip wire, wood stoves, bungee cords, home canning supplies, a good axe, and a good guard dog that would make James Carville look passive.

Let's toast the meek who may take the first baby-step toward awareness by purchasing duct tape this weekend. Maybe soon they will be taking self defense classes and shooting school training. If they do that, then they will know what the duct tape and visqueen is for.....

[commish]

I love that Graphic ... I also have this vision that that is the AFLAC duck .. hehehehehehe

[JohnHuang2]

I also have this vision that that is the AFLAC duck ..

Had the same thought..hehe

[commish]

I can see Daschle's questioning in the Duct-Tape hearings now

LiL Tommy : Can you explain this 18 1/2 inch gap in the roll of tape Mr. President. Well, CAN YOU!!!!

[JohnHuang2]

Re: #34 -- bwahahahahHAHAHAHAHA!

[uncbob]

"The administration has to do better, they have to do a lot more than tell people that the responsibility is now on their shoulders!" screamed an angry Tommy yesterday.

Too bad he didn't mention what because that statement is true no matter who is saying it or why

Seal the borders
Quit handling American muslims with kid gloves
ETC

[KC_Conspirator]

I noticed that the latest democrat attack on Bush's attempts to protect the country once again fails to include a suggestion or counter proposal to help on the War on Terror. And these clowns don't understand why they lost last Novembver? These people are an effin meance.

Furthermore, Dasshole criticizes Bush for giving 'responsibility' for getting duct tape and plastic? Does he have a better idea? Maybe he wants federalized workers to come over and seal us in our safe rooms? I remember when Winston Churchill came to office he said he had nothing to offer but "Blood, toil, tears, and sweat". Now we have Bush telling us that life is going to be tough while Dasshole is fighting Bush. This guy is a joke, a sick effing joke.

[uncbob]

If Tommy-Boy thinks the administration can prevent ALL terrorist attacks, then he would logically think that police can stop all murders.

Yeah well I am tired of hearing administration types who say "ANOTHER TERRORIST ATTACK IS INEVITABLE "
Get rid of these losers and get somebody in there that believes THEY ARE NOT INEVITABLE AND WE WILL TAKE ALL MEASURES TO INSURE THEY DON'T

Like sealing off our borders ( Don't hold your breath for Bush to do that )and quit handling the muslims in this country with PC kid gloves

[JohnHuang2]

I noticed that the latest democrat attack on Bush's attempts to protect the country once again fails to include a suggestion or counter proposal to help on the War on Terror.

Not only that, the buffoon admits he's stocking up on duck, er, duct tape himself!.

[NorseWood]

Seal the borders . . . with duct tape!!