Daschle says Americans need more than duct tape [Duct Tape-Gate?]

Reuters ^ | Thursday, February 13, 2003

[JohnHuang2]

WASHINGTON, Feb 12 (Reuters) - U.S. Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle said on Wednesday the Bush administration must do more to protect Americans against a suspected increased risk of terrorist attacks than urge them to seal a designated room with duct tape and plastic sheets. Continues.

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Duct Tape-Gate?

Senate anti-minority Minority Leader Tommy Daschle Wednesday took some timeout from his busy day blocking hispanics from the bench, resuming his duct tape-gate offensive which observers observe may have already yielded decisive results.

"The administration has to do better, they have to do a lot more than tell people that the responsibility is now on their shoulders!" screamed an angry Tommy yesterday.

Tommy, convinced he's finally landed a political winner, something that'll, um, stick, says he's on, um, a roll -- that is, so long as he doesn't, um, stretch the duct tape-gate thingy too far.

"If there's one adhesive that'll keep fractious Democrats glued together, it's duct tape-gate," a top Democrat Senate aid told me, adding "it keeps our party from cutting itself into strips. And -- the cotton mesh, the so-called 'backbone' of duct tape-gate, gives our party both strength and suppleness."

"The duct tape-gate theme lets us tightly wrap ourselves in the mantle of homeland security and stuff," said another aid.

At a press briefing, Tommy blasted the White House, chiding Bush for being short on specifics, asking "what good does it do to tell people to run out and buy duct tape without specifics, Mr. Bush?"

"What grade tape, Mr. Bush?" Tommy demanded. "Forty pound (40-lb)? Twenty-pound (20-lb)? And how thick? Sixty millimeter (60 millimeter)? Fifty-one millimeters (51 millimeter)? And what color, Mr. Bush? Yellow? Red? Black? Blue? White? And what brand tape? Memorex? Maxell? Sony? Or RCA?"

Daschle: "And why the fixation with duct tape, anyway? What's wrong with trying other tape -- aluminum foil-backed tape, for example? Or clear plastic tape? What about all-weather tape? Masking tape? And what kind of knife or scissor should you use to cut the tape? Stainless steel? Pocket knife? Or fixed blade? Kitchen knife? Or pruning knife?"

Daschle added that, besides, he doesn't think Bush has made his case that sealing windows and doors in a biological or chemical attack makes you any safer than keeping doors and windows wide open.

"Where's the evidence, Mr. Bush? Where's the proof that keeping those windows open poses an imminent threat?"

America, apparently heeding Tommy's advice to forget the duct tape, rushed to clear store shelves of the stuff as fast as they could, jacking up sales of duct tape, plastic sheeting and other emergency supplies across the country.

So, the ironic twist here is that Tommy Daschle, far from being irrelevant, is, in a negative sort of way, very relevant, indeed: If Daschle tells Americans to do such and such, people will scramble to do the very opposite.

But here's the baffling part: People stocked up on water without needing detailed instructions from FEMA on what brand name water they should buy or what constitutes a 3-day supply; stocked up on food without needing detailed instructions from FEMA on what kind of canned goods (Sardines or tuna? Soup or vegetables? Refried beans or pasta?) they should buy; stocked up on batteries without needing detailed instructions from Sec. Ridge on whether Duracell is better than Eveready better than Energizer etc.; stocked up on, well, you get the picture.

Anyway, that's...

My two cents...
"JohnHuang2"

[JohnHuang2]

Thursday, February 13, 2003

Quote of the Day by Blood of Tyrants

[da_toolman]

Tommy needs to get real, if sh*t hits the fan, the government isn't going to be able to protect everyone. Personally I like the responsibility on my shoulders... More and more Tommy looks like a commie.

[JohnHuang2]

Amen.

[camle]

heck, everybody knows tha all american male can do anything with duct tape!

it's all we ever need:-)

[dfwgator]

Daschle needs to put some duct tape over his mouth.

[JohnHuang2]

hehehe

[Mr. Bird]

What Americans need is a good dose of perspective, and Daschle isn't helping matters. If Tommy-Boy thinks the administration can prevent ALL terrorist attacks, then he would logically think that police can stop all murders.

Bottom line is that it's pretty much a Lotto drawing for who gets whacked by a terrorist in the U.S. Discomforting, but some of us who went through the sniper thing had to come to grips with the odds in order to keep our sanity. This does not alleviate the pain of any victims past or future, but it is something to think about.

[commish]

Ok I have the Tape and I have some plastic sheeting .. I also have some questions :

1. How exactly do I tape the DUCKS up.

2. After I shoot the terrorist is there a set procedure for wrapping him in the plastic and taping it up. I mean, I want to do this properly.

[Frapster]

If this isn't a clear example of campaigning on a potential catastrophe I don't know what is. He's already placed the blame on Bush's shoulders - I wonder if he recognizes the role his own party has played in this situation. Bah!

[demsux]

I thought duct tape was Condit's "thing".

[JohnHuang2]

Daschle needs to put some duct tape over his mouth.

Hear! Hear!

[JohnHuang2]

Ouch!

[JohnHuang2]

If Tommy-Boy thinks the administration can prevent ALL terrorist attacks, then he would logically think that police can stop all murders.

How, dare you bring logic into this? Shame on you! /sarcasm

[JohnHuang2]

1. How exactly do I tape the DUCKS up.

LOL!

[JohnHuang2]

Bingo.

[bmwcyle]

It is more like a 1950's 60's thing. It is a duct Tape-Gap not a Duct Tape-Gate. How much rag head Duct tape is out there?

[mamarainsberry]

Yes we need more than duct tape. We need a congress that can quit whining long enough to get something done. Judges perhaps, homeland security, prescription drugs, a tax cut., etc., etc., etc. I hate that guy! I will however vote for him in the primaries in my state. I always vote dem in the primaries :)

[Neenah]

It is amazing to me, that American people, even FREEPERS, are buying the notion that Duct Tape and Plastic will keep them safe.

There have been tons of posts here and elsewhere, including Red Cross and CDC telling you to get it to shut up your home or "safe room".

SAFE? o.k. You block any window(s) and door(s), seal it tight. NOTHING CAN GET IN...right? How long before the air is used up in this place? You need fresh air to live !! You might as well put a plastic bag over your head and seal it with Duct Tape! My question.........

Why is our Govt., Store owners, Media, Talk Shows, Newspapers, Local media...etc. not explaining this to the GULLIBLE public ????????

[JohnHuang2]

Here's how you do it!

[Dazedcat]

What I'd like to know is.....what is Daschel's plan. I hear nothing from the democrats other than criticism. Do they have an alternative? If they do, someone kindly tell me what it is?