To: orchid
Cats don't act like they own the world...THEY DO!
But I repeat myself. :-)
241 posted on
02/13/2003 8:04:08 AM PST by
Valin
(Age and Deceit, beat youth and skill)
To: Valin; NYer; Jean Chauvin; Wrigley; CCWoody
From one that is also a cat lover:>)
> EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY
> >
> > Day 180
> > 8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
> > 9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
> > 9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
> > 10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
> > 11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
> > 12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
> > 1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
> > 4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
> > 5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
> > 5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
> >
> > Day 181
> > 8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
> > 9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
> > 9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
> > 10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
> > 11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
> > 12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
> > 1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
> > 4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
> > 5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
> > 5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
> >
> > Day 182
> > 8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
> > 9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
> > 9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
> > 10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
> > 11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
> > 12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
> > 1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
> > 1:30 pm - OOOOOOOH. BATH. BUMMER!
> > 4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
> > 5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
> > 5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
> >
> > EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY
> >
> > DAY 183
> > My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
> > dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,
> > while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing
> > that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the
> > wild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional
> > piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another
> > houseplant.
> >
> > DAY 184
> > Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving
> > round their feet while they were walking almost
> > succeeded, must try this at the top of the
> > stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these
> > vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to
> > vomit on their favorite chair ... must try
> > this on their bed.
> >
> > DAY 185
> > Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless
> > body, in attempt to make them aware of what I
> > capable of, and to try to strike fear into
> > their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about
> > what a good little cat I was ... Hmmm.
> > Not working according to plan.
> >
> > DAY 186
> > I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no
> > good reason I was chosen for the water torture.
> > This time however it included a burning
> > foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds
> > could invent such a liquid. My only consolation
> > is the piece of thumb still stuck between my
> > teeth.
> >
> > DAY 187
> > There was some sort of gathering of their
> > accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout
> > the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell
> > the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer".
> > More importantly I overheard that my confinement was
> > due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what
> > this is and how to use it to my advantage.
> >
> > DAY 188
> > I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and
> > maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and
> > seems more than happy to return. He is obviously
> > a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has
> > got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly.
> > I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his
> > current placement in the metal room, his safety
> > is assured.
> >
> > But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...
>
> ______________________________________
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson