This is hysterical... you MUST have the hiccups after reading all these comments, cats! and, i vote for the lentils on the bus being taking the cake.
I just realized the Mother of All Human Shields has to bring his mommy along as HIS human shield--and now he's sitting in Rome, probably in a holding cell far away from the action, while is mommy is doing his *homework* for him.
OMG, this is too much, just too much. hic hic hic