I think I know somebody I could set ya up with!
At least he ain't fat!
Posted on 02/03/2003 6:13:20 PM PST by softengine
A recent story floating around the variety section of a newspaper I still read occasionally reminded me of a conversation I had with a college girlfriend about six months ago. She's a pretty woman – slender, petite, well-educated and intelligent. She has an excellent, high-paying job and even owns her own house.
She is, in short, the epitome of feminist success. And yet, she is profoundly disappointed with her life. She has, in her own words, continued to stumble upwards while somehow missing out on the only thing she truly wanted – a husband and a family.
Nor is she alone, in anecdotal or statistical terms. Not only do the majority of women who were in our college social circle remain unmarried, but according Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, author of "Why There Are No Good Men Left: The Romantic Plight of the New Single Woman," a 30-something woman is three times more likely to be unmarried than her 1970's counterpart. While some might argue that this is a good thing, most demographics experts would disagree, as would, it appears, an awful lot of those 30-something single women.
While Whitehead correctly identifies the general problem, she is as clueless as the next feminist as to how to go about solving it. Instead of recommending that individuals change the one thing within their power – namely, their behavior – she advocates altering the entire system of courtship. Given this typically fascistic feminist approach, I am, of course, shocked that her six 30-something daughters and nieces all remain available.
But, as I told my friend, the root of the problem is that the kind of man she wants is precisely the man who is smart enough to stay away from her. Smart, educated women aren't willing to date down on the social scale, so the higher they rise, the more they cut down on their available pool of men. Furthermore, the smarter a man is, the more he is likely to realize that being romantically involved with an intelligent, educated, upper-middle-class American woman steeped in 20 years of feminist indoctrination is about as desirable as being flayed alive and rolled in salt.
Consider the premarital professions of the women in my social circle, all of whom are now stay-at-home moms happily married to intelligent, successful men: Farmgirl. Nanny. Teacher. Office manager. Nanny. Pipeline worker. Professional student. Church volunteer. That's eight quality men who won't be marrying a high-powered career girl right there.
The advice I gave my friend was succinct: In any given dating situation, think about what your instincts are telling you – then do the opposite. It's like football … if the run is getting stuffed, then throw the darn ball.
So, in the unlikely event there happens to be a 30-something single woman reading this, here are a few pointers which might be helpful while you wait for Ms. Dafoe Whitehead and company to change the dating culture:
1. Your rights are delineated in the Constitution. Everything else is a privilege.
2. Your family has to put up with you. For everyone else, it's optional.
3. Southern belles always get what they want. Watch and learn, grasshopper.
4. Sex as an incentive is fair enough. Using its deprivation as a punishment will backfire hideously.
5. Mocking your man in public creates a no-win situation. He can either slice and dice you verbally, which is no fun for you, or keep his mouth shut and look like an idiot. In the case of the latter, it doesn't mean that you've won, or that he's forgotten.
6. Men love happy women. Act happy and you may discover how to be happy.
7. If there's a doubt, choose the most optimistic interpretation. That's what he meant.
8. Honey, honey, honey – a thousand times honey. Never vinegar.
9. Conflict is not passion. It isn't any fun, either.
10. Limit yourself to five complaints and demands a day. If you're not counting, you're over the limit.
11. If no one ever taught you the traditional arts, find an older woman to be your mentor.
12. Your feelings and objectively verifiable facts may be different. Learn to distinguish between them.
Now, I'm not saying that applying these principles to your dating scene will turn frogs into princes or anything, but they will get you in the game. And if all else fails, just tell your next first date that you're thinking of quitting your job and returning to your former career as an aerobics instructor. He'll be intrigued, trust me.
People like that give me the creeps.
I am going to try to find time in the next couple of days to share an interesting story here.
unspun, obviously my comments above were for the women, but I noticed in another thread you had a tag line about the Proverb's 31 woman...Is that not the anthisis to the Prov. 6 woman...?
I got married a year ago, to a fantastic man five years YOUNGER than me who I dated for several years. He loves the fact that we can have intelligent conversations about politics, history, current events, and even sports.
One of my friends is now happily dating a man of the same "youth". Just wanted to check in to make sure you don't overlook the younger guys!
I think I know somebody I could set ya up with!
At least he ain't fat!
Oh, geeez, do the intellectually challenged still use this lame ad hominem attack on FR? Aren't you the least bit embarassed that this is the best you have to offer from your clever closet?
Do you not smoke?
See above.
Do you hate Clinton?
Do I only get to hate one? I hate all Clintons. I even hate towns named "Clinton" because they ought to know better.
Do you own a gun?
A gun? No.
Do you prefer an SUV?
If I have to haul stuff, or my dog, that won't fit on one of the motorcycles, yes.
Do you listen to talk radio while you are freeping?
Now and then.
Does the thought of a democratic-controlled anything make you want to put your fist through a wall?
Makes me want to put my fist through a democRat.
All this HTMLing was a lot of work . . . . you better be female!
People make decisions on the basis of the data and analysis they have available. The radical feminists that she will be in contact with will not hesitate to strongly promote their viewpoints. Why are you trying to muzzle her father from adding HIS viewpoints to the mix?
Actually, I've been with my wife 20 years, with 3 kids, so I've been out of the dating scene for a while. Back when I was dating, I mostly stayed out of the bars and asked out women who I was at least vaguely acquainted with thru friends/work, rather than walking up to complete strangers.
But my original point was that a guy has immediate feedback on whether the type of girl he's interested in sees him as meeting their standards -- at which point he has the choice of either going after less-discriminating women or improving his desirability
A marriage forecast based on 1990's Census data suggests that, while more-educated women were less likely to marry a half-century ago, modern-day college grads are more likely to marry than their less-educated peers.
"The marriage market is changing," says sociologist Joshua Goldstein of Princeton University, who co-authored the forecast.
The report, noted in a recent American Sociological Association journal, says that about 90% of all women born in 1950 eventually married, regardless of their education. But for women born in 1960, a split has emerged where about 94% of female college graduates marry, compared with 89% of those women with less education. "Marriage is becoming a luxury good," says sociologist Frank Furstenberg of the University of Pennsylvania.
His research suggests that marriage partners with more education are better able to pay for services, such as child care, that ease some of the strain on marriage.
.... 7 of 10 women with high-income corporate careers and 8 of 10 high-income entrepreneurial women were married with children by age 40, while about 8 of 10 men of the same status were too.
According to this data, the vast majority of college educated women haven't gotten the memo about there not being enough men to marry. Ninety-four percent marry indicating the man shortage doesn't seem to be a huge hurdle for them.
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