Posted on 02/03/2003 6:13:20 PM PST by softengine
A recent story floating around the variety section of a newspaper I still read occasionally reminded me of a conversation I had with a college girlfriend about six months ago. She's a pretty woman – slender, petite, well-educated and intelligent. She has an excellent, high-paying job and even owns her own house.
She is, in short, the epitome of feminist success. And yet, she is profoundly disappointed with her life. She has, in her own words, continued to stumble upwards while somehow missing out on the only thing she truly wanted – a husband and a family.
Nor is she alone, in anecdotal or statistical terms. Not only do the majority of women who were in our college social circle remain unmarried, but according Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, author of "Why There Are No Good Men Left: The Romantic Plight of the New Single Woman," a 30-something woman is three times more likely to be unmarried than her 1970's counterpart. While some might argue that this is a good thing, most demographics experts would disagree, as would, it appears, an awful lot of those 30-something single women.
While Whitehead correctly identifies the general problem, she is as clueless as the next feminist as to how to go about solving it. Instead of recommending that individuals change the one thing within their power – namely, their behavior – she advocates altering the entire system of courtship. Given this typically fascistic feminist approach, I am, of course, shocked that her six 30-something daughters and nieces all remain available.
But, as I told my friend, the root of the problem is that the kind of man she wants is precisely the man who is smart enough to stay away from her. Smart, educated women aren't willing to date down on the social scale, so the higher they rise, the more they cut down on their available pool of men. Furthermore, the smarter a man is, the more he is likely to realize that being romantically involved with an intelligent, educated, upper-middle-class American woman steeped in 20 years of feminist indoctrination is about as desirable as being flayed alive and rolled in salt.
Consider the premarital professions of the women in my social circle, all of whom are now stay-at-home moms happily married to intelligent, successful men: Farmgirl. Nanny. Teacher. Office manager. Nanny. Pipeline worker. Professional student. Church volunteer. That's eight quality men who won't be marrying a high-powered career girl right there.
The advice I gave my friend was succinct: In any given dating situation, think about what your instincts are telling you – then do the opposite. It's like football … if the run is getting stuffed, then throw the darn ball.
So, in the unlikely event there happens to be a 30-something single woman reading this, here are a few pointers which might be helpful while you wait for Ms. Dafoe Whitehead and company to change the dating culture:
1. Your rights are delineated in the Constitution. Everything else is a privilege.
2. Your family has to put up with you. For everyone else, it's optional.
3. Southern belles always get what they want. Watch and learn, grasshopper.
4. Sex as an incentive is fair enough. Using its deprivation as a punishment will backfire hideously.
5. Mocking your man in public creates a no-win situation. He can either slice and dice you verbally, which is no fun for you, or keep his mouth shut and look like an idiot. In the case of the latter, it doesn't mean that you've won, or that he's forgotten.
6. Men love happy women. Act happy and you may discover how to be happy.
7. If there's a doubt, choose the most optimistic interpretation. That's what he meant.
8. Honey, honey, honey – a thousand times honey. Never vinegar.
9. Conflict is not passion. It isn't any fun, either.
10. Limit yourself to five complaints and demands a day. If you're not counting, you're over the limit.
11. If no one ever taught you the traditional arts, find an older woman to be your mentor.
12. Your feelings and objectively verifiable facts may be different. Learn to distinguish between them.
Now, I'm not saying that applying these principles to your dating scene will turn frogs into princes or anything, but they will get you in the game. And if all else fails, just tell your next first date that you're thinking of quitting your job and returning to your former career as an aerobics instructor. He'll be intrigued, trust me.
In the social circles in which I run, however, all the men who are the marrying kind are, well, married.
I'm figuring, you are (a) lying or (b) learned the art of masturbation HEY FOLKS!!! It's only natural. And those who don't do it are either abusing kids or animals!!!!!!
Well yes ,thats the problem.
I am beginning to think single men don't exist because nobody knows any!
It is always so touching to see someone who has an understanding of the awesome gifts we receive everyday.
He's a keeper alright.
That would be baaaaaaaaad.
I don't think so. I think she finds a guy that she THINKS is what she wants... and then he lusts her and leaves her... and she's left there hating men because she can't figure out how to be discriminating (it's so UN PC you know... and then you have to have standards!)
In situations where the competition is landing the sales, it pays to study what the competition is doing, and why the customer is preferring the competition's products. It does no good to be outraged that the customer is an ass and the competition's product is not as good as yours -- the customer is the customer, and the smart seller figures out what the customer is looking for and delivers it
First and foremost, men want somebody they can trust not to shaft them the moment their backs are turned. A woman can be plain, can have much less education, etc, and still get a decent guy IF she can make him confident that she will be on his side, and will stand by him loyally thru bad times as well as good times.
Part of the handicap that successful women labor under is that they've developed a lot of self-esteem, a "can-do" attitude that whispers to them "I can get a better guy than the one I currently have". This gives many of them a low tolerence for hassle -- they don't think they HAVE to put up with anything from the guy. Well, in a successful relationship, both sides realize that nobody is perfect, and part of the deal is dealing with the imperfections and occasional bad moods of the other person
Didn't John Wayne Bobbit do that (marry a woman from a non-western country)? Watch out for those women in Venezuela.
You might also want to be aware that the practice of women severing men's penises appears to be well-known in Thailand, Korea, and the Philippines so go with caution (and maybe a steel jock strap). (for more info and not for the squeamish, see http://iupjournals.org/nwsa/nws8-3.html)
You mean she can't indulge in a little shooting up of virtual terrorists?
a la:
Ghost Recon
and
Splinter Cell
or
Combat Mission And then play it together with her husband and beat him at it?
Bummer... I'm such a bad wife...
I take it you're being facetious here? :-)
Hmm... I didn't get that kind of impression of cyborg...
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