[Kathy in Alaska]

Break out the shovels

PEASE AIR NATIONAL GUARD BASE, N.H. -- Snowbanks are piled upwards of 30 feet in some locations here Jan. 12. The base is home to the 157th Air Refueling Wing and is strategically located in southern New Hampshire, easing refueling support for trans-Atlantic flights. (Photo by Tech. Sgt. Timothy Psaledakis)

Ruff job

SEYMOUR JOHNSON AIR FORCE BASE, N.C. -- Staff Sgt. Samuel Pruett keeps a close eye on his partner, Dasty, as he runs through the tunnel during training at the military working dog obstacle course here Jan. 10. Both man and dog are assigned to the base's 4th Security Forces Squadron. (Photo by Staff Sgt. James W. Arrowood)

[Dubya]

Doctor! Doctor!

Doctor, doctor, my wooden leg is giving me a lot of pain.
Why's that?
My wife keeps hitting me over the head with it.
*
Doctor, doctor, my hair's coming out. Can you give me something to
keep it in?
Certainly - how about a paper bag?
*
Doctor, doctor, people keep ignoring me.
Next, please!
*
Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains.
Pull yourself together!
*
Doctor, doctor, I feel like a bridge.
What's come over you?
Two cars and a bus!
*
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a spoon.
Sit there and don't stir.
*
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a billiard ball.
Get back in the queue.
*
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a pack of cards.
I'll deal with you later.
*
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking there's two of me.
One at a time, please.
*
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dog.
Lie down on the couch and I'll examine you.
I can't. I'm not allowed on the furniture.