Why Men Are So Damn Cool!!!!

unk | unk | no one has confessed

[Boot Hill]

Why Men are so Damn Cool:

1. Your rear end is never a factor in a job interview.

2. Your orgasms are real. Always.

3. Your last name stays put.

4. The garage is all yours.

5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.

7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

8. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.

9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

10. Same work .. more pay.

11. Wrinkles-add character.

12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.

13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.

14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

17. One mood, ALL the damn time.

18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.

19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.

20. You can open all your own jars.

21. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

22. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

23. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

24. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."

27. No maxi-pads.

28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.

32. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

33. Your belly usually hides your big hips.

34. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

35. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

36. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in minutes.

37. The world is your urinal.

[XLurk]

Yes, I know.

"If you can keep your head when all those around you are losing thiers and blaming it on you, you are a man my son."

I cannot allow the negativity, abuse and general stupidity of those around me to affect me in a negative manner - it diminishes my productivity and is unhealthful.

...And venting my rage and frustration on FR is basically just another waste of time. I shall refrain from doing so henceforth.

...impending sign of mental collapse...

That already happened a couple of months ago. I'm getting better now, thank you.

If I could only clone myself a couple of times, then I would be able to get done everything I have to do.

[Darksheare]

I know the feeling.
'Course, my wife would hate it if I cloned myself. She'd kill me a few times for it.

My step-daughter died in an auto accident two years ago, and my Captain called me a liar. So I went just a little deranged. So I know about the world falling apart. I'm almost back together now. But I've got most of my humor back.

It's hard, and painful, reason one why I advised to not lose the humor. Welcome back. Sorry I got so rough there.

[Allegra]

Angel, I agree. I've worked with alot of men, engineers mainly, and I can tell you they are the greatest bunch of people to work with. Women, on the other hand, well that's another story. I love men.

MEGA-DITTOS. Women co-workers are generally jealous, gossipy back-stabbers (with a few notable exceptions.) Men tell it like it is and most of my friends are men. Viva MEN!

[demosthenes the elder]

re: your tagline
It is not that we don't know how to answer that question, it is that we know damned well that the truth will get us in hot water, as will almost any lie we can come up with, including "how much I love you, sweetie"

[Bella_Bru]

Your orgasms are real. Always.

For women, they are only fake if the guy isn't any good.

[Bella_Bru]

PLEASE STOP POSTING THIS BRAINLESS B*&$~&^&T.

Please stop thinking you are JimRob.

[Stew Padasso]

[Boot Hill]

"Your orgasms are real. Always."

"For women, they are only fake if the guy isn't any good."

You sure got that right! Best advice I ever heard on that score came from a comedian who said: "Why shouldn't women fake orgasm? Men fake foreplay!"

--Boot

[Boot Hill]

please study #116 carefully and get back to me.

--Boot Hill

[Chong]

(Is this what you mean?)

HER SIDE OF THE STORY
He was in an odd mood when I got to the bar. I thought it might have been my fault because I was a bit late but he didn't say anything much about it. I don't remember doing anything to make him upset, but could tell there was something wrong. The conversation was quite slow going, so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately.

We went to this restaurant and he was STILL acting a bit funny. I was getting really worried, what did I do? What was bothering him? Was he mad at me? I tried to cheer him up but started to wonder what was bothering him. Was it me or something else? I asked him if he was upset with me, and he said no. But I wasn't really sure.

So anyway in the cab on the way back to his house, I said that I loved him, and he just put his arm around me! I didn't know what the hell that meant because, he doesn't say anything back.We finally got back to his place and I was wondering if he was going to break up with me! Why didn't he want to talk about this? So I tried to ask him about it but he just switched on the TV. Why would he rather watch TV than talk to me?

Reluctantly I said I was going to go to sleep, hoping he would get the hint that I was upset and wanted to talk.I was so hurt that he was out there watching TV while I was in here going through emotional turmoil. Then after about ten minutes, he joined me and we had sex. I thought that maybe he would open up after we shared an intimate experience like that, but he still seemed really distracted.

So afterwards, I just wanted to leave, but I just cried myself to sleep. He didn't even notice how upset I was! I don't know, I just don't know what he thinks anymore. I don't know what to feel anymore. I am on emotional overload. I am so confused. I don't think he loves me anymore. Why does he have to play mind games with me? I mean, do you think he met someone else?

HIS SIDE OF THE STORY
Played badly today -- shot 110 -- can't putt. Felt kinda tired. Got laid though.

[demosthenes the elder]

in a nutshell, yes indeedy!

[demosthenes the elder]

oh, and...

[demosthenes the elder]

the sad thing is that your post reflects reality rather clearly.

[MonroeDNA]

#46 (if I've counted right--but I'm a guy, so I did count right):

If you ask us which way is East, we just automatically point East.

[MonroeDNA]

#47: We know how far a mile is.

[MonroeDNA]

#48: We scratch when we itch, where we itch, and don't care who is looking.

[sarasmom]

I just started reading "Atlas Shrugged".

In your present situation, I would advise that you dont.LOL!

[Chong]

"the sad thing is that your post reflects reality rather clearly."

Yepper! It was an email joke I saved on hard drive. Funny because it's so close to the truth, eh?

MonroeDNA, As for your comment about you men knowing how far a mile is? Ahem, I've a t-shirt that says.....

"Give a man an inch, he thinks he's a ruler." HA!
(DISCLAIMER: I'm not a men basher, it was just a free t-shirt I got from Virginia Slim "evil" corporation people for smoking their cig's)

[Mr. Silverback]

Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.

I can beat that. My wife's dress cost far less, but she designed it! Meanwhile, my tux cost $80.