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Lesbian in the Locker Room-To be young, gay and outcast in Banning
L.A. Weekly ^ | 1/9/03 | Judith Lewis

Posted on 01/09/2003 1:29:16 PM PST by I_Love_My_Husband


Lesbian in the Locker Room
To be young, gay and outcast in Banning
by Judith Lewis



Ashly Massey:
Knows her constitution

(Photo by Debra DiPaolo)

Last month, 15-year-old Ashly Massey became an avatar of gay teens’ rights when, through her lawyer at the ACLU, Martha Matthews, she and her mother initiated a landmark suit in the U.S. District Court in Riverside against the Banning Unified School District for discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. It would be the first such suit since California passed the Student Safety and Violence Prevention Act of 2000, extending civil rights protection to gays and lesbians in public schools. An eighth-grader at Susan B. Coombs Middle School until last May, Ashly had been banned from gym class by a teacher, Karen Gill, who initially sent her to sit in the principal’s office during gym class without explanation, and later claimed that the presence of a lesbian made the other girls "uncomfortable." (Gill is included as a defendant in the lawsuit, as are Coombs’ Principal Manuel Peredia and Vice Principal Kirby Dabney.)

When I arrived at the Masseys’ newly built home in a nondescript subdivision in Beaumont, California, Ashly answered the door wearing bagging athletic shorts, a T-shirt and a Wolverines baseball cap. Her little brother, Elijah, 7, was running around in the house, and her mom was still out on nursing duty. When we sat down to talk, she seemed less shy than guileless, candid and tired. A bad cough caused by breathing in her cousins’ secondhand smoke at a family party interrupted her frequently. Her family has moved a few miles west since the incident last spring, and she now attends a "much more laid-back" high school in Beaumont. Her mom, Amelia, arrived a few minutes into the conversation.

Coombs Middle School and the Banning Unified School District have officially declined to comment.

L.A. WEEKLY: How many kids in your school knew you were a lesbian when this happened?

ASHLY MASSEY: Just one, a girl who was a friend of mine.

So how did it get out?

We were in the locker room in gym class, and somebody else asked me if I was gay. And this friend of mine heard that, and she shouted, "Yeah, she’s gay!" So then everyone knew.

And this was your friend?

She’s bisexual, and I thought because of that I could trust her, but I guess I didn’t judge her right.

How long have you known you were a lesbian?

I knew when I was 12. I always had a feeling that I was different, but then one day I knew that I had an attraction to girls, and it stuck, and guys were out of the picture. I have an aunt who says she knew when I was 7, though. She told me I was always dressing like a guy, and I never wanted to be out there with the girls. I’ve always been a tomboy.

And you came out then, too?

No, I waited a year. I was 13. We lived in Palm Desert then and I already knew a lot of gay kids, and they were out. They have a gay and lesbian youth group there. So I came out then to some of my friends, and then also to my family.

My mom didn’t really believe me at first. I had hinted at it before, but at first she didn’t think I was serious. But when she understood that I meant it, she was really cool about it. I give my mom a lot of props.

But when you moved to Banning, you didn’t tell the other students you were gay.

No. I knew it wasn’t the same.

And then somebody told your gym teacher, Karen Gill.

Right. After class she came up to me and said, "That’s nobody’s business, keep it to yourself." Then the next day I showed up for gym class, and she said, "Don’t dress up. The principal wants to see you." So I went to the principal’s office.

But no one knew why I was there. I told them that Miss Gill had sent me, but nobody talked to me about anything. So I sat there for a week and a half while the principal walked in and out of his office. He’d look at me sometimes, and he knew I was there, but he never said anything to me. I’d have the clerks ask to make sure he knew about me, and they’d come back and say, "Yeah, he knows you’re here." But he’d give me no response.

So when did the principal finally acknowledge you?

When my mom came to school and noticed it.

AMELIA MASSEY: I went in there to talk to the vice principal about shortening her day because we had some medical appointments. I said, "And by the way, why is Ashly out of gym class today?" He said, "I had nothing to do with that. The principal did it." And he kind of shrugged. I asked to talk to the principal, but he wasn’t in that day.

Later on, the gym instructor called me. I said, "Is she doing what she’s supposed to do in class? Is she behaving in any way that’s inappropriate?" She said, "No, she’s just making the other girls uncomfortable." I said, "If that’s the case, you need to talk to your administration about it; that’s an administrative issue."

Ashly didn’t talk to me about it, because she didn’t know quite what to say to me. I said, "What? What do you mean you’re sitting in the office every day?" She said, "I don’t know. I don’t know what it’s about."

In the Riverside paper they quoted someone from the community saying, "It would be like having a boy in the locker room." How do you respond to something like that?

ASHLY: If that’s what they think, that’s what they think. I’m not looking at other girls. I’m not disrespecting them in any way. I’m still female. But everyone’s entitled to their own opinion.

Except when it interferes with your right to go to gym class.

ASHLY: Yeah, well, they broke the law with that, didn’t they? The school, in their student handbook, didn’t even have anything about not discriminating against students because of sexual orientation. They have race, religion, ability to speak English, everything, but not sexual orientation. And they’re supposed to have that in there, by law.

How did you find that out?

ASHLY: My mom wrote to Courtney Joslin at the National Center for Lesbian Rights and told her the story. She told us to look in the handbook, and we did. And then she took it to the ACLU. That’s how the lawsuit got started.

This happened at Coombs Middle School, but you were already at your new high school in a different part of town when it hit the newspapers. How did people react?

ASHLY: I stayed home from school. But it was really great, what happened then, because all my friends from the new school were calling me and leaving messages on the answering machine saying, "Come back to school, Ashly, we miss you. We still love you." It made it a lot easier.

Has this experience turned you into a more political person?

ASHLY: I’d say so. I used to be kind of quiet and keep to myself. Now that I have news cameras in my face asking what I think, I have to have something to say.

But you have a lot of anxiety about it.

ASHLY: Yeah, I haven’t been able to sleep much since this happened. I lost a lot of self-confidence and self-esteem over this. Because the teachers got out of control, that made the kids in junior high, where they’re really immature, go around calling me names, and writing stuff on the walls and tables about me.

What kind of things?

ASHLY: Oh, you can imagine. Things like "Ashly’s a big fat dyke." That was on one table I sat down at one day. I mean, you can think about the things they wrote; I don’t really need to repeat them all. They’d call me "faggot" right to my face.

AMELIA: At the beginning, when all of this happened, Ashly packed her bags and she was going to take off. We had just started the lawsuit, but there really wasn’t much anybody could do.

Where were you going to go, Ashly?

ASHLY: Up north, to San Francisco.

AMELIA: I called the Sheriff’s Department and asked them, "What can I do if my kid runs away?"

ASHLY: Did you really?

AMELIA: Yeah, I did! Don’t you remember when I said if you walk out that door that I was going to be calling the sheriff, or the police? Because I was really afraid for her. We were living with my mom and dad in Banning, all crammed together, and that was stressful enough. I found the screen off the window a couple of times, and I said, "You’d better not crawl out that window."

What made you decide to stay?

ASHLY: I don’t know. It was the end of the year and we had just got this house.

Would you have changed schools even if you hadn’t moved?

AMELIA: Yeah, there was no way I would have sent her back there. She would have been going on to high school, but it would have been with the same kids. I was looking into using a work address in Loma Linda as my residence to get her into another school. I would have done anything to get her out of there, because nothing clears up with the kids overnight.

ASHLY: I still don’t like to go to school. I didn’t go for the first two weeks of this year. I had to talk myself into going to school. There are still days when I wake up and can’t get out of bed because I have so much anxiety about what people will think or say to me at school.

Are people ridiculing you in school now?

ASHLY: Not so much now, because I’m in high school, and it’s more mature; you can go to school dressed in whatever and nobody cares. But I always have my guard up.

Do you go to school dances or anything like that?

ASHLY: No. Never.

AMELIA: They don’t have any, do they?

ASHLY: Yes, they do, but I never go. The gay and lesbian student association in Palm Desert is trying to raise money to have a prom so girls can just dance with girls and boys can dance with boys and gay kids can relax and enjoy themselves and not feel ashamed of it.

What is the goal of this lawsuit?

ASHLY: We want for them to change their policy so if it happens again they deal with it differently.

AMELIA: We want to send a message to the other schools out there, saying, "Hey, wake up." A lot of school districts have gotten by with a lot of things. There are kids who aren’t going to be strong enough to fight it, and we don’t want to have to see other kids go through what Ashly did.

Will you get money from the lawsuit?

AMELIA: There’s going to be some monetary damages, because you can’t just walk away from something — there’s got to be something to forfeit that’s got some sort of a bite to it. That’s just the way it is, or else what have people learned? But mostly we just want the law enforced.

These laws are put in place for a reason so that these policies mean something. Sensitivity training should be part of education. They should have policies and procedures that are set up so that if you have a problem you do A, B or C. You don’t take a child and throw her out and then sit there and watch her. She shouldn’t have been an experiment in anything.

ASHLY: Especially because I didn’t do anything!

Are you aware of anybody else in your school who’s gay or lesbian?

ASHLY: I know bi people. But I don’t know of anyone who’s just gay or just lesbian, except for me.

AMELIA: Sometimes I wonder if those bi girls are really lesbians, and they’re just sitting on the fence because it’s more acceptable.

ASHLY: Yeah, but some of those girls have boyfriends, too.

AMELIA: I know, but that’s just my opinion.

ASHLY: Yeah, maybe. I told people for a while that I was bi for that same reason. One guy in school said to me, "Well, at least you got it half right." I said, "Hey, thanks a lot!"

Were you worried that the lawsuit would generate more publicity than you could stand? Did you ever feel like quitting?

ASHLY: No, because I have to stand up for what I believe in. A lot of people tell me I’m strong to do this, but it’s just what I had to do, once I knew there was the option. I was worried about the media, but I had to stand up for the cause and say, "This is inappropriate." There’s a lot of gay and lesbian teen suicide because kids are afraid to come out. If what I’m doing saves one life, that makes all the difference to me.

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TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: gay; homosexual; lesbian; lockerroom; school
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To: mg39
"Homosexual teachers are 8 to 10 times more likely to sexually involve themselves with pupils." J Psychology, 1996:130:603-613

Relationship violence was found to be a significant problem for homosexuals. Forty-four (44) percent of the gay men reported having experienced violence in their relationships; 13 percent reported sexual violence and 83 percent reported emotional abuse. Levels of abuse ran even higher among lesbians: 55 percent reported physical violence in their relationships, 14 percent reported sexual abuse, and 84 percent reported emotional abuse. Susan C. Turrell,Journal of Family Violence Vol. 13, Number . , 2000. Page(s) 281-293.

Almost one-third (29.7 percent) of gays and nearly one-half (47.5 percent) of lesbians reported being or having been the victim of relationship violence. In addition, 22 percent of gays and 38 percent of lesbians admitted using violence against their partners. Lisa Walder-Haugrad, Violence and Victims Vol. 12, Number . , 1997. Page(s) 173-184.

61 posted on 01/09/2003 2:49:58 PM PST by Remedy
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To: Remedy
So what? How many killers and rapists are heterosexuals? Sexual orientation by itself does not equate with propensity to criminal behavior.
62 posted on 01/09/2003 2:51:52 PM PST by mg39
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To: mg39
Violence and Homosexuality The top six U.S. male serial killers were all gay.
63 posted on 01/09/2003 2:53:19 PM PST by Remedy
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To: Remedy
So what? How many mass murderers were straight? How many rapists were straight? How many thieves, arsonists, muggers, and animal abusers were straight? Hitler and Stalin and Mao and Saddam, and for all we know that freak in North Korea, were/are straight.

Do homosexuals suffer from more mental illness than straights? Maybe so, but no surprising given the hatred they experience from bigots their entire lives.

My friends and relatives are doing just fine, luckily.
64 posted on 01/09/2003 2:56:16 PM PST by mg39
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To: mg39
They should shut the hell up or better yet, tell anti-gay bigots like you to get lost.

There’s no such thing as “bigotry” against behavior. But I see you’ve already swallowed the Kool-Aid from those who practice perversion, perhaps it’s your stupidity or perhaps it’s just your naivete, either way it’s your own inadequacy.

65 posted on 01/09/2003 2:56:54 PM PST by Clint N. Suhks
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To: Remedy
It seems logical. If your mind is screwed up with respect to "sexual orientation," you might be more logical to have other mental pathologies.
66 posted on 01/09/2003 2:57:20 PM PST by lady lawyer
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To: lady lawyer
that's "more likely" to have other pathologies.
67 posted on 01/09/2003 2:58:05 PM PST by lady lawyer
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To: lady lawyer
I couldn't agree more.
68 posted on 01/09/2003 2:58:41 PM PST by Remedy
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To: Remedy
I get as far with this crowd as I did when I'd argue with white supremacists and jew-haters. There's no arguing with bigots, almost by definition.

Well folks, get used to gay rights, because they're expanding all the time. Eventually there will be a federal law barring discrimination against gays, and you all can weep just like Trent Lott and Co. did when discrimination against blacks was outlawed.

See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya!
69 posted on 01/09/2003 3:01:00 PM PST by mg39
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To: mg39

Do homosexuals suffer from more mental illness than straights? Maybe so, but no surprising given the hatred they experience from bigots their entire lives.

What Homosexuals Say About Homosexuals - Is This Gay Behavior Sick?

70 posted on 01/09/2003 3:02:34 PM PST by Remedy
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To: mg39
Hitler and blah, blah, blah… were/are straight.

WRONG!

71 posted on 01/09/2003 3:04:09 PM PST by Clint N. Suhks
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To: mg39

I get as far with this crowd as I did when I'd argue with white supremacists and jew-haters.

The Poisoned Stream. "Gay" Influence in Human History. Volume One. Germany 1890-1945.

Was Hitler's Homosexuality Nazism's Best-Kept Secret?

72 posted on 01/09/2003 3:04:16 PM PST by Remedy
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To: mg39

Eventually there will be a federal law barring discrimination against gays

BURGER, C.J., Concurring Opinion

As the Court notes, ante at 192 , the proscriptions against sodomy have very "ancient roots." Decisions of individuals relating to homosexual conduct have been subject to state intervention throughout the history of Western civilization. Condemnation of those practices is firmly rooted in Judeo-Christian moral and ethical standards. Homosexual sodomy was a capital crime under Roman law. See Code Theod. 9.7.6; Code Just. 9.9.31. See also D. Bailey, Homosexuality [p*197] and the Western Christian Tradition 70-81 (1975). During the English Reformation, when powers of the ecclesiastical courts were transferred to the King's Courts, the first English statute criminalizing sodomy was passed. 25 Hen. VIII, ch. 6. Blackstone described "the infamous crime against nature" as an offense of "deeper malignity" than rape, a heinous act "the very mention of which is a disgrace to human nature," and "a crime not fit to be named." 4 W. Blackstone, Commentaries *215. The common law of England, including its prohibition of sodomy, became the received law of Georgia and the other Colonies. In 1816, the Georgia Legislature passed the statute at issue here, and that statute has been continuously in force in one form or another since that time. To hold that the act of homosexual sodomy is somehow protected as a fundamental right would be to cast aside millennia of moral teaching.

This is essentially not a question of personal "preferences," but rather of the legislative authority of the State. I find nothing in the Constitution depriving a State of the power to enact the statute challenged here

73 posted on 01/09/2003 3:05:59 PM PST by Remedy
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To: mg39
So what? How many killers and rapists are heterosexuals?

Comparing right behavior with wrong behavior is a pathology in and of its self.

Sexual orientation by itself does not equate with propensity to criminal behavior.

There’s no such thing as “sexual orientation”, it’s a made up word to justify perversion. If there was such a thing as “sexual orientation” we’d see other “sexual orientations” like incest, bestiality, etc., and other paraphilic disorders equally justifiable.

74 posted on 01/09/2003 3:13:39 PM PST by Clint N. Suhks
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To: Tacis
"A fairy gets to take showers with the objects of his/her lust, but just let me try to get into the girls' locker room..."


Actually CA has expanded sexual orientation rights to include trans-gender, trans-sexual, and cross-dressing. Thus, a cross-dressing male can possibly sue for the right to have access to the women's locker room and washroom.
75 posted on 01/09/2003 4:16:41 PM PST by Kuksool
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To: Hillary's Lovely Legs; janetgreen
The special interest groups aiding this lesbian teen are using her to change school policy. When gay activists speak of the need for diversity and sensitivity training in schools, what they really mean is brainwashing our children, from pre-school to grade 12, to worship the homosexual agenda.
76 posted on 01/09/2003 4:27:50 PM PST by Kuksool
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77 posted on 01/09/2003 6:15:01 PM PST by Anti-Bubba182
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To: hellinahandcart
Pardon the random interjection, but this is getting a bit out of hand, I think. There has been a disturbing rash of "lesbian" threads w/o glossy pics of hot babes lately.
78 posted on 01/09/2003 8:55:17 PM PST by Stultis
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To: All
I've seen a lot on this particular story but one thing escapes me...is there anywhere in any of the news stories stating that the girl had done ANYTHING (leering, lewd comments, inappropriate touching, etc) that would require her being pulled from the class? If so, I must have missed it. Because all I see (prepares to be flamed) is a girl that was pulled from gym class for a week based on assumptions, not for any particular incident that occurred. I also see many people suggesting that the girl change in a bathroom. Was this option ever presented to the girl or was she just pulled out of class and left out?
79 posted on 01/10/2003 7:04:28 AM PST by Severa
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To: Guillermo
An 8th grade lesbian?

Are they kidding me?

What...did you have no clue about your sexuality when you were 13? When I was that age, I wanted to get it on with every chick in sight.

Snidely

80 posted on 01/11/2003 12:07:25 AM PST by Snidely Whiplash (male lesbian)
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