Replies

Why yes, I can clone a soul. My associates and I have perfected the process, and we have a patent pending. And I'll send you a prospectus for the company, SoulAid (OTCBB:SOULSRUS), giving you a ground floor opportunity for just a $1,000 investment. You'd be nuts to pass this up!

The problem is that we have no idea as to the current market value of a soul. Who knows what Satan has to pay these days? Where's the aftermarket in soul trading? Is a soul indivisible, or can you sell shares in it? What's the discounted future value of a soul? Is there an intrinsic interest rate?

Until you can answer these questions and many others in a prospectus, your Souls-R-Us IPO is going nowhere.

Why yes, I can clone a soul. My associates and I have perfected the process...

What I want to know is what if you are a SCIENTOLOGIST and you've signed your soul into a 1-billion year contract, and then you clone yourself with the Raelians, but then bounce the check to them. Will

a) your clone-child be raised by Tom Cruise

b) The Raelians attempt to contact L-Ron Hubbard through your clone

c) A showdown occur between Bridgette Boissilier and Priscilla Presley

The problem is that we have no idea as to the current market value of a soul. Who knows what Satan has to pay these days? Where's the aftermarket in soul trading? Is a soul indivisible, or can you sell shares in it? What's the discounted future value of a soul? Is there an intrinsic interest rate?
Until you can answer these questions and many others in a prospectus, your Souls-R-Us IPO is going nowhere.

Good questions. Right off the bat I can say that you can sell divisible shares in any indivisible entity. And if an individual soul has a low market value, you can also package several into securities. Just like they package up mortgages into securities all the time. And as for creating new, innovative markets, I'm sure there are lots of laid-off Enron traders who would love to resurrect the dream. :-)

(Ah, Enron. If only they hadn't been corrupt at the top, they'd have gone down in history as one of the most innovative companies. <sigh>)