I can find my ass with only one hand. Ergo, I am not a Democrat. A Democrat would need both hands and still couldn't find his ass.
Posted on 01/03/2003 11:19:21 AM PST by mhking
Are You A Democrat? Take This Test To Find Out!
Wednesday, January 01, 2003
Virtually anyone can be a Democrat; just simply quit thinking and vote that way; but, if you want to be a GOOD Democrat, there are some necessary prerequisites. Compare the list below and see how you rate:
1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
3. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding Americans, are more of a threat than U. S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of the Chinese communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no "Art" before Federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial; but, being homosexual is natural.
7. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand.
8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists from our cities do.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
11. You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians start wars.
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain
parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't.
16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is really a lady.
17. You have to believe that the only reason Socialism hasn't worked anywhere its been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.
18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.
19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
20. You have to believe that illegal Democrat Party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.
P. S. There really isn't anything very "democratic" about the Democrat Party. Think about that!
39!
39 here
(sarcasm)I'm shocked I tell you!(/sarcasm)
Please, it's bad enough that I have to drive home in blizzard, but could you please not remind me about that again for at least another two years.
Thanks.
LiM
Some of the questions are vague and non-specific, so they can apply the answers however they feel meets their needs.
I can find my ass with only one hand. Ergo, I am not a Democrat. A Democrat would need both hands and still couldn't find his ass.
"Poltroons!!"
(To be sung to the Beatles' "Hey Jude")
It's true!! The Left's been had...
Took a bad man and made him Prez'dent.
You Lib'rals, you let Slick into yer heart...
Now we must start to make it better!!
Poltroons, don't be afraid...
Righteous shall just go out and GIT HIM!!
The minute we accept Bill's corruption,
Then Slick will win...we'll 've sanctified SIN!!
Yeah, Willie says, "I feel yer pain."
Poltroons, be sane!! Don't tell me The World Will End Without him!
And don't you know y'all look like FOOLS, you shameless TOOLS,
Repeatin' lyin' words...yer part in Slick's Spin!!
Dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah...
Hey News, you let US down...
Bill's a Felon...let's go and GIT HIM!!
Leftist Medyuh, you shouldda known from the start...
Still, there's time to report, unless yer all blinded!!
So sing out loud about Slick's sins...
Poltroons...DIG IN!! We're looking fer someone to believe in!!
Folks, don't you know Bill Clinton's screwed?!
Networks, you too!!
Left's Template offends all Good Americans!!
Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah Yeah...
Poltroons, don't look so sad...
Bill's a bad man, he'll go to Prison!!
You Lib'rals, you best be runnin' from Slick...
Or next election...will be a slaughter, slaughter, slaughter, slaughter,
Slaughter, slaughter...oooh!!
Yeh yeh yeh yeh yeh yeh yeh...dah dah dah dah...dah dah dah dah...
Poltroons...dah dah dah dah dah dah dah...
Poltroons....
Mudboy Slim (4 August 1998)
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