I resent this comparison.
Did you ever hear a rock make such stupid statements?
No.
A rock knows its place.
Rocks are useful things, unlike Ms. bin Murray.
A few months ago, Washingtonian magazine surveyed Capitol Hill staffers about the best and worst in Congress. In the category labeled "No Rocket Scientist" our gal was ranked at the very top in the Senate, a not inconsequential accomplishment given the stiff competition.From http://www.washingtonian.com/inwashington/bwcongress.html:
Babes & Whales
Hill Staffers Pick the Best and Worst of Congress—the Leaders, Followers, Dimwits, Hotheads, and More
No one knows the members of Congress better than their top aides. That’s why, every election year, we ask key Capitol Hill staffers to tell us who the good, the bad, and the dimwitted are among their bosses. The choices have been prescient (Dick Gephardt as “rising star” in 1986) and revealing (Mary Bono, a certified personal trainer, won in 2000 for “best in a bathing suit”).
This year we again surveyed administrative assistants, press secretaries, legislative directors, and majority and minority committee staff chiefs. In return for their picks, we promised to donate a dollar to a charity they designated—either Share Our Strength or the DC Metropolitan Boys & Girls Clubs.
The voting can be partisan, of course, but staffers often defied party orthodoxy to praise a foe—and prick a friend.
Senate
BEST LEADER
1. Tom Daschle (D-SD)
2. Don Nickles (R-OK)
3. Harry Reid (D-NV)
Reid got as many GOP votes as Republican leader Trent Lott.
WORST FOLLOWER
1. John McCain (R-AZ)
2. Jim Jeffords (I-VT)
3. Zell Miller (D-GA)
Republicans piled on defector Jeffords; Democrats took aim at conservative Miller.
WORKHORSE
1. Ted Kennedy (D-MA)
2. Bill Frist (R-TN)
3. Harry Reid (D-NV)
Straight party-line votes.
SHOWHORSE
1. John McCain (R-AZ)
2. John Edwards (D-NC)
3. Chuck Schumer (D-NY)
McCain and Schumer were dissed by members of their own parties. Edwards drew mostly opposition barbs.
BRAINIEST
1. Bill Frist (R-TN)
2. Tie: Robert Byrd (D-WV), Phil Gramm (R-TX)
The Tennessee surgeon and in-house anthrax expert collected more votes than Gramm and Byrd combined.
NO ROCKET SCIENTIST
1. Patty Murray (D-WA)
2. Barbara Boxer (D-CA)
3. Rick Santorum (R-PA)
Murray edged out Boxer in a partisan vote.
NO ALTAR BOY
1. Robert Torricelli (D-NJ)
2. Ted Kennedy (D-MA)
3. John Breaux (D-LA)
Torricelli’s campaign-finance troubles earned him critics in both parties; Kennedy was tapped chiefly by Republicans.
BIGGEST WINDBAG
1. Robert Byrd (D-WV)
2. Joe Biden (D-DE)
3. Paul Wellstone (D-MN)
With friends like these . . . . Biden got more Democratic votes than Republican. Top GOP vote getter: McCain.
HOTTEST TEMPER
1. Ted Stevens (R-AK)
2. John McCain (R-AZ)
3. Barbara Mikulski (D-MD)
The balloting was bipartisan, but McCain and Mikulski both took more hits from their own parties than from the opposition.
FUNNIEST
1. Pat Roberts (R-KS)
2. Ernest Hollings (D-SC)
3. Ted Kennedy (D-MA)
Roberts was the hands-down laugh getter among Republicans; Dems split their side between Hollings and Kennedy.
MEANEST
1. Arlen Specter (R-PA)
2. Barbara Mikulski (D-MD)
3. Ted Stevens (R-AK)
To know, know, know them . . . . Most of the votes for all three came from their own parties.
WILL BE MISSED THE MOST
1. Strom Thurmond (R-SC)
2. Phil Gramm (R-TX)
3. Fred Thompson (R-TN)
After five decades in the Senate, Thurmond is loved by all—now that he’s leaving, at least. More than half the tears for Thompson came from Democrats.
WILL BE MISSED THE LEAST
1. Jesse Helms (R-NC)
2. Phil Gramm (R-TX)
3. Strom Thurmond (R-SC)
Top vote-getting Democrat: New York’s Hillary Clinton, who has announced no departure plans.
JUST PLAIN NICE
1. Jesse Helms (R-NC)
2. Blanche Lincoln (D-AR)
Votes were scattered over dozens of members. Helms drew only GOP votes.
LOOKS BEST IN A BATHING SUIT
1. Mary Landrieu (D-LA)
2. Evan Bayh (D-IN)
3. Maria Cantwell (D-WA)
The 43-year-old Cantwell breaks into the top three for the first time. Nevada’s John Ensign was the only Republican to get a second look.
STAY OFF THE BEACH!
1. Ted Kennedy (D-MA)
2. Barbara Mikulski (D-MD)
3. Strom Thurmond (R-SC)
Some things are obvious.
BEST DRESSED
1. Gordon Smith (R-OR)
2. Orrin Hatch (R-UT)
3. Kay Bailey Hutchison (R-TX)
Daschle, Clinton, Torricelli, Edwards, and Biden split the Democratic vote.
FASHION VICTIM
1. Paul Wellstone (D-MN)
2. Barbara Mikulski (D-MD)
3. Ben Nighthorse Campbell (R-CO) More than two-thirds of Campbell’s votes came from his GOP colleagues.
STRONGEST BACKBONE
1. Jim Jeffords (I-VT)
2. John McCain (R-AZ)
3. Phil Gramm (R-TX)
No surprise I: Party-switcher Jeffords got all his votes from Democrats.
WEAKEST SPINE
1. Jim Jeffords (I-VT)
2. Trent Lott (R-MS)
3. Max Baucus (D-MT)
No surprise II: All Jeffords’s votes in this category came from Republicans.
MEMBER I’D LIKE TO SEE AS PRESIDENT IN 2008
1. Bill Frist (R-TN)
2. John Edwards (D-NC)
3. Tom Daschle (D-SD)
Republican Fred Thompson and Democrat Hillary Clinton were close behind Daschle, followed by Massachusetts’s John Kerry and Virginia’s George Allen.
House
BEST LEADER
1. Tom DeLay (R-TX)
2. Dennis Hastert (R-IL)
3. Dick Gephardt (D-MO)
DeLay drew some votes from across the aisle.
WORST FOLLOWER
1. Jim Traficant (D-OH)
2. Ron Paul (R-TX)
3. Chris Shays (R-CT)
Big bipartisan support for Traficant, who voted for Hastert as speaker in 2001.
WORKHORSE
1. Tie: Tom DeLay (R-TX), Rob Portman (R-OH)
2. Tie: David Obey (D-WI), Rosa DeLauro (D-CT)
More than three dozen members got nods in mainly party-line voting.
SHOWHORSE
1. Sheila Jackson-Lee (D-TX)
2. J.C. Watts (R-OK)
3. Dick Gephardt (D-MO)
Jackson-Lee, the heavy favorite with the GOP, drew Democratic votes, too.
BRAINIEST
1. Barney Frank (D-MA)
2. Chris Cox (R-CA)
3. Bill Thomas (R-CA)
Frank wins in the smart-guy category hands-down every time.
NO ROCKET SCIENTIST
1. Cynthia McKinney (D-GA)
2. Carrie Meeks (D-FL)
3. Patrick Kennedy (D-RI)
A party-line vote, with Democrats spreading their votes around. Top GOP vote getters: New Jersey’s Marge Roukema and Kansas’s Jim Ryun.
JUST PLAIN NICE
1. Lois Capps (D-CA)
2. Walter Jones (R-NC)
Capps, a former school nurse, squeaked by the courtly, old-school Jones.
NO ALTAR BOY/GIRL
1. Gary Condit (D-CA)
2. Loretta Sanchez (D-CA)
3. Tie: Patrick Kennedy (D-RI), Max Sandlin (D-TX)
Condit was the runaway choice. Top Republican vote getters: New York’s Jack Quinn and Ohio’s John Boehner.
BIGGEST WINDBAG
1. Sheila Jackson-Lee (D-TX)
2. J.D. Hayworth (R-AZ)
3. Bill Thomas (R-CA)
The vociferous Jackson-Lee got
more votes than Hayworth and Thomas combined.
HOTTEST TEMPER
1. Bill Thomas (R-CA)
2. Tom DeLay (R-TX)
3. David Obey (D-WI)
More Republicans than Democrats tapped Thomas. Virginia’s Jim Moran, 2000’s winner, finished back in the pack.
FUNNIEST
1. Barney Frank (D-MA)
2. J.D. Hayworth (R-AZ)
3. Jim Traficant (D-OH)
Frank, a five-time winner in this category, lapped the field.
MEANEST
1. Bill Thomas (R-CA)
2. Tom DeLay (R-TX)
3. Sheila Jackson-Lee (D-TX)
All drew big numbers—and got votes from both parties.
WILL BE MISSED THE MOST
1. Jim Traficant (D-OH)
2. David Bonior (D-MI)
3. Dick Armey (R-TX)
Traficant’s exit disappoints mostly Republicans.
WILL BE MISSED THE LEAST
1. Dick Armey (R-TX)
2. Jim Traficant (D-OH)
3. Gary Condit (D-CA)
Democrats regard the GOP’s Armey as a nemesis, their own Traficant as a nuisance.
LOOKS BEST IN A BATHING SUIT
1. Mary Bono (R-CA)
2. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA)
3. Gene Taylor (D-MS)
Bono got six times as many votes as Pelosi.
STAY OFF THE BEACH!
1. Jerrold Nadler (D-NY)
2. Henry Hyde (R-IL)
3. Dennis Hastert (R-IL)
The rotund Nadler collected more than half the votes cast.
BEST DRESSED
1. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA)
2. David Dreier (R-CA)
3. Mark Foley (R-FL)
California cool breezes to victory.
FASHION VICTIM
1. Jim Traficant (D-OH)
2. Rosa DeLauro (D-CT)
3. Cynthia McKinney (D-GA)
Traficant has won this category since 1986.
STRONGEST BACKBONE
1. Tom DeLay (R-TX)
2. Chris Shays (R-CT)
3. Tie: John Dingell (D-MI), David Obey (D-WI), John Shadegg (R-AZ)
Most of Shays’s votes came from across the aisle.
WEAKEST SPINE
1. Robin Hayes (R-NC)
2. Charlie Norwood (R-GA)
Hayes got the bird from both parties after vowing opposition to fast-track trade legislation, then tearfully voting for it. A bipartisan group thought Norwood caved on his ownpatients’ bill of rights.
MEMBER I’D LIKE TO SEE AS PRESIDENT IN 2008
1. Dick Gephardt (D-MO)
2. J.C. Watts (R-OK)
3. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA)
A tight—and mostly partisan—race, though Pelosi collected a lone Republican vote. Go figure.
From the September 2002 issue.
Copyright ©2002 by Washington Magazine Inc.
Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)
LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)</