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Ellen Ratner, Eleanor Clift, Your Clinton Vibrators Are Ready
Talking Slick Willie ^
Posted on 01/01/2003 7:57:56 AM PST by Doctor Raoul
![](http://www.talkingslickwillie.com/images/figure-anim.gif)
FROM TODAY'S INSIDE THE BELTWAT BY JOHN McCASLIN:
CLINTON MONMUMENT It vibrates, it tickles, it stimulates, it vacillates, it talks, it exaggerates.
What is it?
It's the Talking Slick Willie Presidential Massager, with batteries included at a bargain price of $29.99.
"It's just our little way of erecting a monument to a great American tradition," explains Austin, Texas-based JJK Industries, makers of the red, white and blue (gray on top) massager. "So the Slick Willie Presidential Massager is in no way aimed at demeaning or insulting the man or the office."
Of course not.
So, how does one turn on Slick Willie?
To make Slick Willie talk, simply press the white button below his feet on the pedestal. Each time, Slick Willie recites one line. (He says seven funny phrases in all.)
To make Slick Willie vibrate, simply turn on the switch on the back of the pedestal. Slick Willie vibrates at one speed.
Of course, care should be taken when using any massager, especially this one. Slick Willie is a toy, a novelty massager, and should be treated as such.
Who would buy such a toy?
Lobbyists and politicians alike, we're told, have purchased Slick Willie massagers to soothe their, um, political kinks.
"I wish he'd been this forthright and entertaining during the impeachment trial," says Kenneth W. Starr, former independent counsel, who's handled the "monument."
Inside the Beltway, as a rule, does not publish product sales information (we prefer that toy makers and others place ads in our newspaper). But in this case, knowing readers will inundate us with queries, here it is: 1-877/456-7742 or www.talkingslickwillie.com.
After all, says one anonymous former senatorial source: "Bob Dole thinks this is the best thing since Viagra."
TOPICS: Crime/Corruption; US: Washington
KEYWORDS: maureendowd
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To: Robert A. Cook, PE
LMAO...That's so funny, but where are the doilies on the armrests?
To: WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
How large IS your collection now?
62
posted on
01/01/2003 2:05:30 PM PST
by
Argh
To: COBOL2Java
THAT would be Peter Jennings' 1960's concubine from the PLO, Hanan Ashrawi, or however the hell you spell the tramp's name.
To: WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
would look great next to my Monica Lewinsky humidor! LOL.
To: rface
Would someone please tell me why Estrich's head is so darn big? It looks like a watermelon.
65
posted on
01/01/2003 2:35:02 PM PST
by
NYpeanut
To: SMEDLEYBUTLER
It's soooo funny, because it's sooo true.
To: Doctor Raoul
Doctor Raoul you devil, you.
To: Doctor Raoul
I guess washing machines are passe now. The times they are a changin.
5.56mm
68
posted on
01/01/2003 2:51:43 PM PST
by
M Kehoe
To: Doctor Raoul; Budge
OMG! Where do you find this stuff?? LOL! That is just sick!!
To: buffyt
"Real Women PREFER REAL MEN!!!!" I'll second that!
To: WhyisaTexasgirlinPA; Doctor Raoul
They should stock these for sale at the anti-Clinton library.
To: Mo1
Hey Mo; check this out!
To: Argh
Large is such a relative term...........
To: WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
74
posted on
01/01/2003 3:49:09 PM PST
by
Argh
To: sweetliberty
NO COMMENT ... FOFL
75
posted on
01/01/2003 5:50:48 PM PST
by
Mo1
To: Doctor Raoul
This weekend, Bill, Hillary, Eleanor, et al, would usually be off circle jerking their way through a Renaissance Weekend. Bush and his team are instead working to keep us all, including the airheads, safe. Working versus wanking, Thanks for a serious President who believes in protecting Americans, not enslaving them. Happy New Year!!!
To: sweetliberty
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/815161/posts?page=54#54 They've already been notified earlier today and said "Thanks".
To: sweetliberty
Where do you find this stuff??John McCaslin's "Inside The Beltway" column in The Washington Times reported it. That's his column I reprinted underneath "Slick Willie".
To: WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
Odd, I didn't see the King Size 12" Maureen Dowd Signature Model
79
posted on
01/02/2003 5:45:57 AM PST
by
hobbes1
To: hobbes1
With the name "Maureen Dowd" on it, how could, even a plastic vibrator, retain it's rigid shape? lol
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