Satire: Most Popular U.S. Baby Names [for Black, White and Asian students in U.S.]

The Onion ^ | December 25, 2002 issue | The Onion Staff

[lawdude]

"Propecia is also actually not a Black name, but there are several other common Black names that sound
just like it."

Placenta is also found as a girls name! Don't know which race would do that.

[summer]

They are not all urban legends - go read a class list for classes in an inner city school with black students today. You would be amazed. That is not to say there are not any Davids any more. But, you would be shocked at few Nigel and Davids and the like are in the schools. There are far more names you never heard of, believe me. Try it. Let us know.

[summer]

See my post #62, Also, Amelia, what you think? Are your classes full of "Davids"? Or other names you never heard of before?

[summer]

RE your post #60 - I would believe that.

[AppyPappy]

I bet there are more black kids named "Muconiums" in this country than there are black kids named "Alan."

I bet not. I have a friend who works in a women's hospital and black women usually name their kids beforehand. That whole "Name the kid after a medical term" is an urban legend.

[Eternal_Bear]

Doing census work in 1990 I ran into a man named Molestor. Can you guess which race he was? A social worker told me that a couple on welfare had named their twin daughters Syphylla and Gonnorea. Same race as the above gentleman.

[Stultis]

I used to try to be open minded about some of these names, thinking that maybe they have some roots in African culture

I always assumed that too, that these were African names or something, but apparently this isn't so. They are just made up. There is a certain "sound" to them though, especially the girls' names. I still think it must come from some where -- have been patterned, originally, on something -- but I have no idea what.

[AppyPappy]

I lived in an urban area that printed the names in the paper. The names were either African derivatives(La prefix or Da prefix), respect names (like Prince or Major) or Bible names. I never saw a medical term.

[summer]

I bet you're wrong, because I have read class list after list of actual names of black kids in schools today. I can tell you I never once saw an "Alan." Nor did I ever see many other common names. There is truly a trend among blacks today to name their children the most unique and different names they can think of. And, not necessarily "African" names. Like I said, go to an inner city school and let us know what you find out. I bet you will be stunned.

[summer]

And, there is also a definite trend among white to name their kids those yuppy sounding names. Finally, there is truly a groiwing trend among Asians to name their kids the most common American names, though I still see traditional Asian names as well.

[AppyPappy]

This whole "medical term" name thing is something that white people tell themselves to entertain each other. "Oh look at those silly Negroes". You forget that ALL white people name their children after pickup trucks. Cheyenne, Dakota...I heard of one white family that named their kids after Fords...F-150, F-250 and Dooley.

[Eric in the Ozarks]

A school teacher pal of mine had a brother and sister from the same family in his class. They are Orangello and Lemonjello, pronounced Or-ANG-ja-lo and Le-MON-ja-lo.

[summer]

And, I know you are right about "Prince," which is another popular black male of today's students.

[summer]

And, I know you are right about "Prince," which is another popular black male name of today's students.

[SkyPilot]

"Name the kid after a medical term" is an urban legend.

The Kentucky Fried Rat is an urban legend. Not that story. If it was anyone else but my aunt who told me, I wouldn't have believe it myself.

[summer]

RE your post #71 - Honestly, I am new to this medical naming "myth," but -- I found your comment about how some whites name their kids very entertaining! I know I have seen quite a few "Cheyennes" and "Dakotas" in the schools (always girls, and always white).

[TC Rider]

We have a friend who works for the Social Security office, she's heard better/worse.

Area Code (a-ree-ah co-de) and her brother zippy

[awgie2]

"It can be very difficult to correctly pronounce a list of Black student names in today's schools."

A friend of mine had this exact problem. As an elementary school teacher she makes a habit of asking children to introduce themselves to the class. My friend is afraid she may mispronounce some of the "unique" names.

Amoung the list of potentially difficult names to pronounce were these:

Twin boys Got up and introduced themselves as "La-mon-je-Lo" and "O-ron-je-LO. Their names were spelled "Lemonjello" and "Orangejello".

One young girl pronounced her name as "Fe-mah-lay". It was spelled "Female"

The best of all was one little girl who got up and announced she was "Shee-thee-ahd". She was very proud of her unique name and spoke it loudly. My teacher friend was glad she had taken time to ask for the correct pronunciation because it was spelled "Shithead."

[AppyPappy]

Oldest urban legend there is. Everyone knows someone who knows someone with that name. I 've been hearing that one since the 70's.

[nutmeg]

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