"THE DIFFERENTLY-ABLED SUICIDE BOMBER"

The Iconcolast ^ | Unkown | by Shinaz Nasreen Damaj Hijaj (translated by Marni Soupcoff)

[Apolitical]

ICONOCLAST EXCLUSIVE!!

FIRST-PRIZE WINNER OF THE JOINT NPR/CBC
GILDERHOSEN LITERARY AWARD!



"THE DIFFERENTLY ABLED SUICIDE BOMBER"
by Shinaz Nasreen Damaj Hijaj
Translated by Marni Soupcoff

My name is Shinaz Nasreen Damaj Hijaj. I am a paraplegic. I am a lesbian. But foremost, I am a Palestinian suicide bomber.

When I was growing up, people told me that I could not do things the other children could do. When my friends were out throwing large rocks at the Israeli soldiers, trying to get them to shoot so that the Western reporters could take pictures, I was told to stay at home. I was told I could not join in the fun because I had no legs. I was only allowed to wheel myself out once the shooting started so that I might get in one of the pictures.

Things only got worse as I matured. I realized when I was about fourteen that I was not sexually attracted to men. This is not considered a problem where I come from, as women are not really supposed to be sexual at all. But it was worse: I realized that my biggest turn-on was women in headscarves. This was frowned upon in my traditional Palestinian family. I became an outcast.

But I refused to give in. I had always -- from the day I was a little girl -- dreamt of being part of a glorious jihad. I could think of nothing more satisfying than blowing a bunch of Israeli civilians into smithereens by strapping myself with explosives and igniting myself on a cross-town bus. And what was more, I knew I had an advantage over other soldiers in the Jihad: no one would ever suspect a handicapped lesbian!

The day I turned eighteen, I approached the guy in my village in charge of suicide bombings. When I was young and naïve, I used to think that suicide bombings just happened. I thought they were something beautiful and natural: spontaneous, unplanned expressions of hate. But it turns out they actually take a lot of planning. So, that's why this guy named Nabil, who lives down the street from me, is in charge of organizing stuff.

As I rolled myself up to Nabil's house, I took a deep breath. I had been practicing my speech for a long time about the fact that I was not disabled, but differently abled. I knew what I was going to say about my years of feeling disenfranchised and isolated and my decision to end all that by making a positive contribution to the glorious jihad.

When Nabil came to the door, he recognized me right away.

"Hey, you're that dyke quad," he said.

I ignored his insensitivity and intolerance. I was there to empower myself. I refused to be bound by the limits and small thinking of others. I embraced myself (mentally -- I am not really able to physically), and told Nabil my plan.

"You've got to be kidding," Nabil said.

I told him that I was not. I explained the strategic advantage I possessed as a woman and someone with an apparent handicap. I could not remember how being a lesbian helped, though I knew at some point I had figured out that it did. I pleaded with Nabil to open his mind and consider the valuable contributions I could make.

But, alas, Nabil could not see beyond the physical me to those things that made me special and different -- a strong spiritually-empowered woman of alternate sexual preferences who was eager and willing to carry out the glorious Jihad.

"Get out of my face dyke quad," Nabil said.

It was then that the tears started streaming down my cheeks, searing my skin as they fell onto my arms and hands. I felt the terrible hatred of prejudice dig into me like a thousand knives, and I wept for all the people I would not be able to kill because of the small minds of others...........

[Apolitical]

Great literature from the Middle East.

[joesnuffy]

Middle East or Middle Earth?

[DWSUWF]

"...Middle East or Middle Earth?..."

LOL!

Now comes the fatwa Yankee devil...

[exmoor]

I thought it was a "middle" ear infection....

[VoiceOfBruck]

My name is Shinaz Nasreen Damaj Hijaj. I am a paraplegic. I am a lesbian. But foremost, I am a Palestinian suicide bomber.

And I'm your daughter's new girl scout troop leader!

[redhead]

"Middle East or Middle Earth?"

My first thought was "The ONION." Is this for REAL?

[visualops]

Visit the Iconoclast home page. It's very funny.

[A_perfect_lady]

This is so moving... you know, if we can just reach out to the differently abled before they are seduced into a (short) lifetime of hatred and terrorism, we can teach them to channel their abilities and energies into a more positive direction. I see no reason why a lesbian paraplegic can't be, for instance, an airline security screener! Surely she could feel pregnant women's breasts and wave through men in turbans just as well as anyone else!