Posted on 12/03/2002 5:25:52 PM PST by quidnunc
"I'm still getting about a half dozen angry emails a day from Canadians and two or three positive ones. Here's a fun angry one (yes, the comstockish asteriks are mine):
Yeah sh*thead, we apologize for even you a**holes' enjoyment in blowing everyone up. Typical american war-mongering rhetoric, who can we carpet bomb next, gotta keep our arms manufacturers rich! We'd all much rather be the UN's good son for MORAL reasons, many of us have the opinion we should pull out of NATO and NORAD all together and just concentrate on peacekeeping, we have priorities up here that do not include stomping on anyone who doesn't bow down to us, oh, and Chretien could win another majority election because we all agree you deserved it and your president IS a moron, something, by the way, that has gotten more press coverage down there than your dumb-a** pilot's friendly fire incident, or have you not heard about that? Keep up the good work, the less friendly terms we are on the better."
Posted at 10:52 AM
(‘The Corner’ in National Review, December 3, 2002)
To Read This Article Click Here
What David Hasselhoff is to Germans, I am the opposite to Canadians. OK, maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. But in the last week, yours truly has become one of the most reviled Americans north of the 49th Parallel. It's all because of a cover story for the current issue of National Review in which I argue for the strategic bombing of Canada.
Let me recap. Five decades ago, historian Frank Underhill wrote that the Canadian is "the first anti-American, the model anti-American, the archetypal anti-American, the ideal anti-American as he exists in the mind of God."
It's a rather famous quote among students of U.S.-Canada relations, and it's pretty much entirely wrong. The New Soviet Man or the French Intellectual: these are the "ideal" anti-Americans because they not only hated America but they offered an alternative to it (a dictatorship of the proletariat and a dictatorship of extremely clever cheese-makers, respectively).
Canadian anti-Americanism, meanwhile, is reflexive not reflective. It offers no alternatives, no positive vision. One angry e-mail I received summed it up: "The one great thing about Canada is that we're not America." Well, there are hundreds of countries that can put "not America" on their collective resumes.
-snip-
All of this matters because you cannot be a moral superpower — or even a persuasive voice — in world affairs if you are not willing to put your money where your mouth is. Moreover, despite what many Canadians may think, America has long seen her northern neighbor as a partner, not a vassal. But if Canada refuses to act like an ally, preferring to parrot anti-American insults from the floor of the U.N., the U.S. will do what's necessary without bothering to ask for Canada's opinion.
That's why I suggested — sarcastically — that we should bomb Canada. If we did, it might slap the Canadians back into coherence and force them to take their responsibilities seriously again.
The reaction from Canadians has been both surprising and predictable. Of the nearly 1,000 e-mails I've received, about a third of them are from Canucks on my side. They are ashamed of the false face projected by their government and media. It's heartwarming to hear, especially amid so many offers to slap me around. It's not the same as being the Canadian David Hasselhoff, but I'll take it.
(Jonah Goldberg [Tribune Media Services] in Town Hall, November 15, 2002)
To Read This Article Click Here
Then, we can bitch slap the rest of the French Canadians who hate us as per Goldberg's suggestion:The U.S. owes it to Canada to slap it out of its shame-spiral.
All of the sane Canadians are welcome to come down or to secede and then become new American States.
We need to remember that fact; the vast majority of the Canadian people where I live are NOT representative of their government. They are our friends, and they deserve mutual respect......
I love Canadians.
Besides, we love beating up on their hockey teams.
My Mother is a Herring Choker, Communists all, my Grandfather, who was a FDR Rat, hated the lot of them, came to the States after he got gased in WW1 and never crossed the boarder again, F'em he used to say, "They know where I live.
What did Puerto Rico do to deserve this insult?
Hello?
Hey, I'm totally with you on Jennings being a jerk and embarassment, but Quebec has enough issues without soldiering them with Pete. :)
We're not a land of hate. We have a messed up political system that puts low grade morons in power and perpetuates their rule due to a lack of proper checks and balances. We've muddled along not badly until recently, but Chretien has taken to centralization of power more than Canada as a whole thought anyone would. Shortsighted, IMHO, but that's the fact. He only gets away with it because our Right can't get itself together. Something for another discussion.
Brian Mulroney enjoyed a strong relationship with The U.S.
Chretien is one of those stupid people who thinks acting superior to the States makes him look sophisticated. Any Canadian who has grown up near the border (something like 80+ percent of Canucks live within a few hundred kilometers of the border, and for most much less), cringes when they see and hear Chretien and those like him sneer like whiney spoiled children at the U.S. and wishes they would just shut up and go away.
Hey, you folks survived The Man From Hope, and stakes are higher if things go nuts in Washington; we'll come out of the Cretien era in time. Damage done, for sure, but Canadians always ultimately seem to put things right when it has to be done.
Cheers, eh!
I loved the article though, its right on target as far as the woozie Canadian governments poor leadership and oh so typical liberal self-hatred (which carries over to hatred of the US). I especially loved this quote from the article:
when was the last time a dictator said, "We'd better not, the Canadians might admonish us"? —
How true! Brave Canadians have died fighting with, and sometimes even for, the United States. But cowardly leaders such as Prime Minister Jean Chrétien make the Country a laughing stock to the worlds murderers, militants, and terrorists. They simple call Canada a "home away from home."
The U.K.
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