Mark Steyn: All the (Canadian) Liberals Have to Offer are Loose Lips

The National Post (Toronto) ^ | November 28, 2002) | Mark Steyn

[quidnunc]

So much news, one can barely take it all in. From Il Nuevo in Italy comes the intriguing story, "Shoplifter Caught With Frozen Drumstick In Pants":

"A shoplifter who stuffed a frozen chicken drumstick down his underpants was caught because he couldn't stop hopping around. A cashier spotted the 25-year-old man moving around and repeatedly touching his groin as he queued for tills at a supermarket in Saronno … She called a security officer and the man immediately admitted he had stuffed some frozen food down the front of his pants … He had been unable to keep still because the frozen drumstick was giving him pain."

There, in a drumstick, is the Chrétien-Ducros approach to damage control: bury the story, stick it out of sight, keep smiling and walk calmly toward the exit, no-one'll notice a thing. Then the world looks on amazed as a supposedly semi-serious second-rank power is suddenly convulsed in weird spasms, doubled up in pain, hopping around, clutching its groin.

What happened this last week? I think President Chirac got it right. Treating M. Chrétien like a lame mutt the neighbourhood gang keeps lobbing pebbles at, he imperiously swatted aside a press question about Morongate. "We are in France," declared M. Chirac. "We are not here to discuss Canadian domestic issues."

Exactly. This is a domestic issue, not an international incident, despite Saddam Hussein's decision to leap to Miss Ducros' defence, surely a measure of the poor fellow's desperation. President Bush is not troubled by being dismissed as a moron by the Government of Canada for the same reason that that smug grandee from CPAC put up to defend our honour on CNN was not troubled when Bob Novak read out something by a columnist from The London Free Press, Herman Goodden. "Who is this guy?" scoffed the CPAC honcho. "I've never heard of him."

-snip-

Here he (Blair) is addressing his party a year earlier:

"America has its faults as a society, as we have ours. But I think of the union of America born out of the defeat of slavery. I think of its constitution, with its inalienable rights granted to every citizen, still a model for the world. I think of a black man, born in poverty, who became chief of their armed forces and is now Secretary of State, Colin Powell, and I wonder frankly whether such a thing could have happened here. I think of all this and I reflect: yes, America has its faults, but it is a free country, it is our ally and some of the reaction to September 11 betrays a hatred of America that shames those that feel it."

Why couldn't Chrétien say that?

Because he doesn't believe it. He doesn't believe Bush is his friend, either: He knows the President regards him as a boorish irrelevance. But some lies are easier to tell than others, and these days all the Liberals have to offer are loose lips: If we boast about our exceptional peacekeeping often enough, the fact that we no longer do it won't matter. As long as our nomenklatura pays loose-lip service to Kyoto and "encourages" the rest of us into 1986 Honda Civics, it doesn't matter that Herb Dhaliwal swans around like a Hamas warlord in his three-tonne Cadillac Escalade. Geez, that's bigger than my SUV and I'm in favour of global warming. The almost Soviet disconnect between reality and the party line is so routinely accepted in Canada's public discourse that you can understand Francie's resentment at being momentarily confronted by Mr. Bush's vulgar obsession with the facts.

Fortunately, even as she was packing, Warren Kinsella was live on the CBC restoring the alternative universe of Liberal poseur politics: Canada is America's "closest ally," he said, and furthermore it was Jean Chrétien who persuaded George W. Bush to seek UN Security Council approval on Iraq.

Let me ask again: Does even Warren believe either of these things for a nano-second after they've tumbled from his lips? Bush wouldn't consult Chrétien if he needed a good restaurant in Nunavut, and you can't be an "ally," close or semi-detached, when you've got no military. You can be the girl standing at the station waving her handkerchief as the troop train pulls out and the Glenn Miller band plays Don't Sit Under The Apple Tree (With Anyone Else But Me). But even Jean and Warren aren't ready to try selling us that one. Hence the contortions of modern Canada: the conscientious objector who insists he's on the front line; the "soft power" whose last drumstick is defrosting in his pants.

-snip-

[quidnunc]

Quote

Then the world looks on amazed as a supposedly semi-serious second-rank power is suddenly convulsed in weird spasms, doubled up in pain, hopping around, clutching its groin.

A good turn of phrase, that.

[ASOC]

"...and you can't be an "ally," close or semi-detached, when you've got no military. You can be the girl standing at the station waving her handkerchief as the troop train pulls out and the Glenn Miller band plays Don't Sit Under The Apple Tree (With Anyone Else But Me). Well, they may not have much of a military (sez the newspaper guy) but more than a few folks think thier snipers are first rate. Best customer service around, one shot, another Tallibunny off to vist Allah or the neither regions.... PPLI grunts are fisrt rate - from Africa to the 'stans these men have shown their metal - shame thier pols are not up to the standard set by the Canadian Forces. Hoo-ah

[wideawake]

As long as our nomenklatura pays loose-lip service to Kyoto and "encourages" the rest of us into 1986 Honda Civics, it doesn't matter that Herb Dhaliwal swans around like a Hamas warlord in his three-tonne Cadillac Escalade. Geez, that's bigger than my SUV and I'm in favour of global warming.

I love Mark Steyn.

[okie01]

"A good turn of phrase, that."

Seemingly, that's the only way to turn a phrase that Steyn knows.

[maximus@Nashville]

Had this been written by an American, I would call it Canada-bashing. As it is written by a Canadian, I would call it refreshingly candid.

[Brandybux]

Steyn, commenting on one of the Canadian Lala types:

Of course, being the celebrated ass-kicker of Canadian politics Warren couldn't resist adding that 60% of Americans couldn't find Canada on a map.

You know why? Because we've dropped off it.

You know, the Bush administration could make the "with us or against us" point ever so much more quickly and (for the US) painlessly by treating the Canadian administration as he is treating Schoeder -- viz., to don the cold shoulder and point it unmistakably North. Canadians need us a whole lot more than we need them, and a lesson impressed on the Lilliputs north of the border would be very so quickly learned, with the rest of the world taking the lesson to heart or not, as they please.

[BADROTOFINGER]

Ping...JFK

[McGavin999]

Yeah, but our president is wise enough to know that the Canadian government only represents a very small portion of the Canadian people. Whereas, Schroeder DOES represent the German people and the majority of the feeling over there.

[Dustbunny]

Excellent article. Calling a spade a spade is the only way to overcome the lies and half truths.

[expatpat]

The US government does need Canada, in one respect. We share a long common border, and we need Canada to help prevent that from becoming an easy way for Islamofascists to sneak into this country.

[cake_crumb]

"He doesn't believe Bush is his friend, either: He knows the President regards him as a boorish irrelevance."

Well said, as usual.

[cake_crumb]

Agreed: Canada's SOLDIERS are no slouches...but the USSR-style Canadian government (I've been comparing the Canadian government to the USSR for about 2 weeks now, here on FR) is becoming more and more Marxist, less and less in touch with the real world all the time.

[1rudeboy]

You are utterly wrong. Your reply #8 has no practical value. It is almost completely worthless.

German Election Results

[quidnunc]

McGavin999 wrote: Yeah, but our president is wise enough to know that the Canadian government only represents a very small portion of the Canadian people.

I believe that the Liberal Party was elected with over 60% of the vote in the last election, which was not so very long ago.

According to a recent poll, 85% of Canadians are of the opinion that the U.S. was wholly or partly at fault for 9/11/01.

According to an on-line poll on the Ottawa Citizen home page I saw recently over one-third of Canadians responding agree that George Bush is a moron — the highest percentage of any of the choices of responses available in that particular poll.

No, I'm afraid that a disturbingly large number of Canadians are not our friends when it gets down to nut-cracking time.

[Pokey78]

Thanks!

[facedown]

Bump