[Aleutian Longliner]

google "microsoft nokia linux"

Related?

[chilepepper]

A friend of mine in Japan sent me a bootleg copy of the code! here it is...

#include "EULA.h"
#include "NSA_libraries.h"
#include "Version_obsolecence.h"

char make_prog_look_big(2000000000);

main () {

    if (detect_LINUX())
	freeze;
    if (detect_cache())
	disable_cache();
    if (fast_CPU())
	set_wait_states(lots);

    set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
    set_mouse(action, jumpy);
    set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
    set_icons(ugly);

    display(Windoews_XP_Splash_screen);

    while (1) { 
        sleep(5);
        get_user_input();
        sleep(5);
        act_on_user_input();
        sleep(5);
        switch ( detect_condition() ) {
            case NEW_WINDOEWS_VERSION_AVAILABLE:
                 trash_registry();
                 break;
            case NEW_EULA_AVAILABLE:
                 trash_registry();
                 break;
            case NORMAL:      
                 system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);
                 break;
            case IMPORTANT_WORD_DOCUMENT: 
	         crash(BLUE_SCREEN_OF_DEATH);
                 break;
            case PLAYING_MP3_FILE: 
	         download("http://riaa.com/hollywood/fatcat/copyprotection.exe");
                 break;
            case RUNNING_BENCHMARK:
                 adjust_time(APPEAR_SHORTER);
                 continue;
            case LOOMING_MICROSHAFT_STOCK_OFFERING:
                 generate_document(ANALYST_RECOMMENDATION);
                 continue;
            case RANDOM:
                 generate_error_number(RANDOM);
                 display_error_box();
                 freeze;
                 continue;
            default:
                 download("http://www.microshaft.com/free/todaysvirus.exe");
        }
    } 
    return(trashed_system);
}

[boris]

"Microsoft Corp. will disclose the source code of the Windows operating system to the Japanese government"

We used to call this "opening your kimono" in the engineering business, but PC won out and nobody can say that anymore.

--Boris