[chilepepper]

A friend of mine in Japan sent me a bootleg copy of the code! here it is...

#include "EULA.h"
#include "NSA_libraries.h"
#include "Version_obsolecence.h"

char make_prog_look_big(2000000000);

main () {

    if (detect_LINUX())
	freeze;
    if (detect_cache())
	disable_cache();
    if (fast_CPU())
	set_wait_states(lots);

    set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
    set_mouse(action, jumpy);
    set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
    set_icons(ugly);

    display(Windoews_XP_Splash_screen);

    while (1) { 
        sleep(5);
        get_user_input();
        sleep(5);
        act_on_user_input();
        sleep(5);
        switch ( detect_condition() ) {
            case NEW_WINDOEWS_VERSION_AVAILABLE:
                 trash_registry();
                 break;
            case NEW_EULA_AVAILABLE:
                 trash_registry();
                 break;
            case NORMAL:      
                 system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);
                 break;
            case IMPORTANT_WORD_DOCUMENT: 
	         crash(BLUE_SCREEN_OF_DEATH);
                 break;
            case PLAYING_MP3_FILE: 
	         download("http://riaa.com/hollywood/fatcat/copyprotection.exe");
                 break;
            case RUNNING_BENCHMARK:
                 adjust_time(APPEAR_SHORTER);
                 continue;
            case LOOMING_MICROSHAFT_STOCK_OFFERING:
                 generate_document(ANALYST_RECOMMENDATION);
                 continue;
            case RANDOM:
                 generate_error_number(RANDOM);
                 display_error_box();
                 freeze;
                 continue;
            default:
                 download("http://www.microshaft.com/free/todaysvirus.exe");
        }
    } 
    return(trashed_system);
}

[Aleutian Longliner]

if (detect_LINUX()) freeze;

:-)

[chilepepper]

By the way, "todaysvirus" for all Microsoft fans (XP included of course) is the very nasty

Winevar

[Aleutian Longliner]

Microsoft Unveils Licensing Discounts To Counter Linux

http://www.newsfactor.com/perl/story/20105.html full

Microsoft (Nasdaq: MSFT) has unveiled a new policy to discourage its business customers from switching to Linux or other open source alternatives. Called Open Value, the new offer is part of the software giant's Licensing 6 volume licensing program. "What's happening is that Microsoft sales reps have been instructed to be on the lookout for any businesses that are migrating some of their machines to the Lindows OS," Yankee Group analyst Laura DiDio told NewsFactor. "If [the sales reps] think there's a real threat of some pretty large numbers of defections to open source, they can request authorization from Microsoft higher-ups to offer steeply discounted pricing." DiDio said that in some cases, the discounts could be as high as 50 percent.....

[demlosers]

That code is Effing riot! ROTFLOL!