My first reaction was 'uh-oh'. Poor chap. He's finally succumbed to non compos mentis, meaning he's mad as a hatter. Tommy Daschle, that is.
Tommy O'Bedlam -- meet your twin.
After leading his party to humiliating Election-Day defeat, it was only a matter of time. Sooner or later, Tommy -- writhing in anguish and sorrow, flailing in embarrassment -- was bound to go bonkers. Daschle, after all, earns the dubious distinction in being the first 'Majority Leader' in U.S. history to lose control of the Senate during a President's earliest midterm election.
Ouch!
Imagine how history will record it: Daschle, the dumbest lunkhead, writes the complete Idiot's Guide To Losing An Election. I mean, you know things are really bad when Michael Jackson calls you up to offer PR advice, or Washington beauty queen Helen Thomas proffers some tips on appearance. Even Michael Dukakis thinks you're a loser and Walter Mondale won't return your calls.
Sheesh, even Castro, liberal superhero, is weighing in.
"Democrats don't have an economic message? Why the heck don't they consult me, for Gulag's sake!? I've got the perfect message!", barked the banana-dictator-for-life, a jovial Charlie Rangel (D-NY) shining his shoes.
Tommy's party, adding insult to injury, gets clobbered despite the 'this-is-the-most-miserable-economy-since-the-Ice-Age' media drumbeat, and the whip-hand the 'out-party' traditionally holds in off-year elections.
But rather than Republicans sinking into oblivion, it's the Daschlecrats who get hoisted on their own petard. In talking the economy down so much, the 'don't-just-do-something, stand-there!' Democrats get blamed for obstructionism -- and rightly so.
But, hey, I digress.
The staggering pressure, the incredible stress, the mind-bending strain was just too much, so Tommy snapped.
During his daily 'I'm-So-Disappointed-in-Shrub' trash-mouth press conferences, Tommy's head, come to think of it, did look more like a pressure cooker than the seat of thought, I'll grant you that. (Always wondered what that steam oozing from his ears was all about. Blew one-too-many rubber seals, perhaps?)
Again, I digress!
Look, I don't want to pile on, so I won't. I don't have the heart. If Tommy says his phone is ringing off the hook with 'I'm-a-Rush-Limbaugh-Fan-so-die-liberal-die!' fruitcakes (interestingly, after extensive FBI linguistic and technical analysis this week, authorities have concluded the 'threatening voice' in those calls was found to be that of James Carville!), or that Tommy's offices are being swamped with Anthrax-laced letters with return addresses like, 'This is From The E.I.B. Institute For Advance Conservative Studies, Bioweapons research division, who am I to dispute?
Do I think Tommy's nuts?
Au contraire! Indeed, Methinks he's on to something here. But in ways you'll not imagine.
Hear me out: Recall the very first reported case of Anthrax spores via envelop?
Exactly -- the American Media Inc. (A.M.I.) facilities in Boca Raton, Florida. Now, as any Clintonite will tell you, A.M.I. was crawling with mean and wascally "Clinton-haters" who published all kinds of 'mean' and 'nasty' stuff about poor Bill and Hillary.
Okay, that's one dot, now here's another: After the 'Gingrich Revolution', recall the torrent of media stories of how Republicans were threatening to poison the air, lakes, rivers and streams with tons of cyanide, get rid of the ozone, choke off free speech, shutdown every schoolhouse, starve the children, liquidate the elderly, purge the country of minorities -- all within the first week and all in the 'Contract On America'?
Ah, ha! Okay, stay with me here: Now who's to say the Anthrax attack on that "Clinton-hating" bastion A.M.I. wasn't the work of some leftie, tired of "Clinton-bashing," exacting revenge?
Ridiculous? Conspiracy non-sense, you say?
Okay, okay, what about the Anthrax attack on the New York Post, the Empire State's premier conservative newspaper? The editors and reporters there "hated" Clinton with gusto and relish, you'll recall. They got several Anthrax letters.
Still not convinced? Man, Oh man, you're one tough customer!
Okay, what about the Anthrax letters sent to New York's Republican governor, George Pataki? ummmmmmmm?
Unpersuaded, eh? Still not convinced, uh?
Well, then, you're not listening to infallible Tommy Daschle, who piously notes that "when those of us in public life" are 'attacked' "that people aren't satisfied just to listen ... they want to act because they get emotionally invested."
Was Gingrich et al in public life? You betcha. Weren't they attacked and attacked and attacked in the media? You know it.
Well????
"Preposterous!", you say?
Of course it's preposterous. But no more preposterous than Tom Daschle's idiotic attacks on Rush Limbaugh.
Nuff said.
Anyway, that's...
My two cents...
"JohnHuang2"
Copyright Enrique N. ©200
