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POINTS TO PONDER: The 16 Known Facts of Life . . .

Posted on 11/26/2002 12:33:12 PM PST by Liz

1. A .44 Magnum beats four aces.

2. Psychiatrists say that one of four people are mentally ill. Check three friends. If they're OK, you're it.

3. Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

4. A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.

5. It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

6. Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.

7. Given an open-book exam, you will forget your book; if a take-home test, you will forget where you live.

8. The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

9. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

10. Gresham's Law: You can't fall off the floor.

11. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

12. Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

13. A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell and make you feel happy to be on your way.

14. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

15. Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.

16. Paranoids are people, too. It's easy to criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid, too.


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To: Liz
LOL
61 posted on 11/27/2002 7:49:17 AM PST by RAT Patrol
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To: Liz
Bump
62 posted on 11/27/2002 7:51:40 AM PST by Fiddlstix
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To: MindBender26
"If all you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail"

63 posted on 11/27/2002 7:53:42 AM PST by Hatteras
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To: Liz

64 posted on 11/27/2002 7:57:26 AM PST by Hatteras
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To: Liz
You always find your keys in the last place you search for them.

Never bring a knife to a gun fight.

Watch out for that "gulp" ball.

Watch out for that clothes line line line...
65 posted on 11/27/2002 8:28:36 AM PST by Frumious Bandersnatch
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To: Liz
Years ago I read an ad by some high-tech outfit offering to send you a collection of Murphy-type laws. What they were really after was a list of engineers they could recruit. I liked my job, but I wrote for a copy anyway. I got a little pamphlet with a couple dozen of these "laws" in it. The writer also invited readers to submit others. I wrote back with another dozen or so additional ones. Several years after that I saw an ad for a book with the title "1001 Logical Laws, Accurate Axioms, (etc.)" I bought a copy. I found it was by the same guy who had put together the pamphlet. He had simply collected what people sent him and put together a book. I even found myself credited with one I'd sent in.

These lists keep cropping up. They're funny and I enjoy them.

66 posted on 11/27/2002 12:34:20 PM PST by JoeFromSidney
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Comment #67 Removed by Moderator

To: Frumious Bandersnatch
There are only two ways to successfully argue with a woman, and nobody knows either one of them.
68 posted on 11/27/2002 12:49:40 PM PST by tacticalogic
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To: Liz
Cole's Law

.

.

.

.

.

Thinly sliced cabbage.

69 posted on 11/27/2002 12:55:20 PM PST by r9etb
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To: Liz
Never eat at a diner named Mom's.

Never play poker with a guy named Doc.

Never sleep with a girl named Easy.

70 posted on 11/27/2002 1:33:16 PM PST by Hugin
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To: Revolting cat!
Next time I'll wear a checked tablecloth on my head and see what happens.
71 posted on 11/27/2002 3:23:23 PM PST by Paulus Invictus
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To: Zon
Falling from the roof doesn't hurt -- smashing into the ground does.

And the corollary to that:
I can fly. I just can't land.

72 posted on 11/27/2002 6:07:19 PM PST by reformed_democrat
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To: Liz

73 posted on 11/27/2002 6:16:21 PM PST by Psycho_Bunny
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To: Liz
14.Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Well, then why are so many teenaged girls trying to look like Britney Spears?
74 posted on 11/27/2002 6:30:15 PM PST by VRWCRick
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To: Bob
Christ, I can sympathize...but now I'm back in the military and have been in long enough to go back to the old thinking...unfortunetly that'll all change in a few months and back to 9FAE thinking. :0)
75 posted on 11/27/2002 11:03:10 PM PST by Stavka2
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To: XDemocrat
"There are 10 kinds of people in this world - those who understand binary and those who don't!"

What kind of boolean logic is that?

Well it's not like it's a Do-While loop or something.

76 posted on 11/27/2002 11:04:42 PM PST by Stavka2
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To: Liz
1. A .44 Magnum beats four aces.

Ah, yes. A .44 Desert Eagle.

Gotta love it!

There shall be no mercy.
101 things that the Mozilla browser can do that Internet Explorer cannot.

77 posted on 11/27/2002 11:12:35 PM PST by rdb3
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To: Liz
"Try not to look important - a mediot may be looking for an interview."
"Almost anything you do can get you hurt - including nothing."
"Don't try to look tough - it starts fights."
78 posted on 11/27/2002 11:16:28 PM PST by 185JHP
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To: Liz
Re: 11. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.


I found another view on this on a recent trip to the head.

79 posted on 11/28/2002 2:11:02 AM PST by sonofatpatcher2
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To: r9etb

Cole's Law.... Thinly sliced cabbage.

Bwahaha!

(The only response I am able to manage this early...no coffee yet.)

80 posted on 11/28/2002 3:09:57 AM PST by ActionNewsBill
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