Posted on 11/21/2002 4:59:56 PM PST by DKNY
Dear Senator Daschle:
As a longtime listener to talk radio—Rush Limbaugh included—I feel compelled to write simply to say I love you. I understand what it’s like to receive harassing and hate-filled letters, although most of mine come from anti-religious, leftwing zealots. But since so many folks from my side of the political spectrum are hell-bent on threatening your physical well being, I simply wanted to let you know that many of us who oppose you politically still find it in our hearts to love you.
I love the way you compared Osama bin Laden to the Beltway Sniper, saying Osama is terrorizing the country as the sniper terrorized Washington. And I felt nothing but love in my heart for you, Tom, when days after a CIA drone dismembered key al Qaeda operatives, you said, “We can't find bin Laden, we haven't made real progress in finding key elements of al Qaeda…by what measure can we claim to be successful so far?"
And whose heart was not warmed by your assertion that bin Laden "has the ability to move at will."
I adore your ability to surreptitiously add language to a spending bill that exempted South Dakota, and only South Dakota, from environmental regulations and lawsuits.
I love the way you stopped dying your hair after becoming majority leader thus beginning your campaign for president. There’s nothing like a little gray hair to make you look serious and worldly.
I have nothing but adoration for the way you managed to retain your pettiness by opposing the newest compromise on the homeland security bill that was crafted by your fellow Democrats.
I love the way you’re personally enriched by your wife’s lobbying efforts on behalf of some of the largest federal government contractors around. And no one knows for sure how much the Daschle family earns from this lobbying since you, Tom, refuse to disclose your tax returns.
I loved it when in March of this year, you described the war operation in Afghanistan as "expansion without at least clear direction” and complained that the military will have failed if it did not capture Osama bin Laden. Then one week later, after 8 US soldiers were killed in Afghanistan, you said, "I think that on occasion it is important for us to speak with one voice in support of our troop efforts." I love your ability to find those occasions, no matter how rare they may be.
I love the way you support $20 billion in unauthorized year-end spending even as you blast President Bush for causing deficits.
I love the way you publicly support an economic-stimulus package while privately doing everything in your power to see that it never has a chance to be voted on.
I love how you manage to get re-elected when 80% of your constituents voted to kill the death tax while you work tirelessly to keep it alive.
I love the fact that you think Americans are dumb enough to believe that higher taxes will end a recession and that lower taxes caused it.
And most of all, Tom, I love the way your transparent lack of self-esteem causes you to go to great lengths to conceal your true height—or lack thereof. Really, Tom. Sitting on phonebooks?
Don’t ever change, Tom. Tall, short, skinny or fat, right, wrong, gray hair or red, I love you just the way you are. I always have and I always will.
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Just out of curiosity, what was the actual vote count that got Daschle elected in his sparsely populated state, thereby empowering him to tyranize the whole country?
Tom Daschle gestures to a recently-constructed list of all the mean and nasty names that radio commentator Rush Limbaugh has called him in just the past week, and has called for the end of 'hate' radio because it hurts his widdle feewings.
Anyone out there have the actual numbers?
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