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The Water Closet

A certain English lady visited Switzerland and was having
difficulty finding a room, so she asked the local
schoolmaster to help her. After a satisfactory room had
been found, she returned to her home and did some packing.

Suddenly, it occured to her that she hadn't noticed a
W.C. (in England, the toilet is called a Water Closet),
so she wrote the schoolmaster about the W.C.

The Schoolmaster, not knowing the meaning, asked the parish
priest and together they decided that it must mean
"Wayside Chapel." He wrote her the following letter:

Dear Madame,

It is my pleasure to inform you that there is a W.C.
just 9 miles from your home, in the center of a grove of
pine trees. It seats 229 people, and it is open on
Thursdays and Sundays. This is an unfortunate situation
if you are in the habit of going regularly. You will, no
doubt, be glad to hear that some people bring their
lunches and make a day of it.

I would especially recommend Thursdays, for then there
is an Organ accompaniment. The accoustics in the W.C.
are excellent; even the most delicate sound can be heard.

My son was married in the W.C. and there was such a rush
for seats that 10 people had to sit in the same seat. The
looks on their faces were very interesting.

My wife is sickly but dedicated. She doesn't go regularly,
and she hasn't gone for nearly a year.

I will be glad to reserve a seat in the W.C. for you,
where you will be seen and heard by everyone.

Hoping I have been of some assistance.

Sincerely yours,

The Schoolmaster

Pastor Jim's Bungee Jump*

Pastor Jim was called to pastor a large Southern Baptist Church in San
Antonio, Texas. He had been pastoring a middle sized church in
Minnesota and arrived on a Monday in San Antonio. He was greeted warmly
and moved into the parsonage and his first official meeting was on
Tuesday evening with his deacons.

"Brothers, I am interested in getting to know you and request your help
in doing this by meeting here at the church Saturday morning at
8:00. While in Minnesota, I learned to enjoy bungee jumping and I felt
it would be nice to fellowship down at that high bridge over the Medina
River. I will make a jump and show you how it's done and perhaps you
may like to try it also."

Saturday morning the deacons were all at the church and got into the
church van and headed to the Medina River. Once they arrived, the group
went to the bridge and observed a Mexican American family having a
reunion below. At that Pastor Jim said, "I don't think it will be a
real problem, I know the stretch on the cord and I will tie it off so we
won't disturb that family."

Pastor Jim tied off the cord, put on his harness and climbed to the top
of the hand rail, and with that he jumped. As he got close to the
bottom a huge cloud of dust arose with a bunch of gleeful laughter and
shouts. Suddenly he arose and yelled, "HELP!!" The deacons reached out
for him but missed. Again Pastor Jim went down and again a huge cloud
of dust, laughter, and screams arose. As Pastor Jim came back up, all
eight deacons reached out and grabbed him.

When he stood once again firmly on the bridge he asked, "Guys, what is a
Pinata"?