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Dan and his wife were working in their garden one day when Dan looks over at his wife and says: "You're butt is getting really big, I mean really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue. With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measure the grill and then went over to where his wife was working and measured his wife's bottom.

"Yes, I was right, your butt is two inches wider than the barbecue!!!" The wife chose to ignore her husband. Later that night in bed, Dan is feeling a little frisky. He makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off.

"What's wrong?" he asks. She answers: "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little wiener?

3 cajuns coming down the river in a boat...at the landing there is a game warden..as soon as the boat touches the bank, 1 guy jumps out and runs like hell down thru the woods...the game warden takes out after him...after about 1/2 a mile the warden tackles him....wrestles him to the ground and demands to see his fishing license...the coonass (cajun) says "sure officer and produces a current license...the game warden, breathing heavily (gasping) is really pissed...asks "if you have a license, why in the hell did you run???" coonass replies, the other 2 guys didn't have!!!!!!! yeeeeeee haaaaaaaw