Posted on 11/13/2002 12:24:44 PM PST by clintonbaiter
William Grim's
AMERICA WATCH
The Iconoclast (www.iconoclast.ca)
EUROPE AND THE NOVEMBER 5TH ELECTIONS
by William Grim
Iconoclast Contributing Editor (www.iconoclast.ca)
If you think Tom Daschle and Dick Gephardt were ashen-faced and depressed on the evening of November 5th, you should have seen the faces of your typical Europeans. There haven't been this many depressed Germans since SS guards passed out cyanide tablets at the last performance of the Berlin Philharmonic in April of 1945. In France, I'm told, some intellectuals were so shocked by the results of the American election that they were accidentally polite the next day.
For you see, in the eyes of Europeans, all Americans are ignorant, gun-toting, violence-obsessed Christian fundamentalists who are hell-bent on world conquest. To the limited brains of our European "cousins," George W. Bush is far worse than Hitler, Mao or Stalin. After all, Adolf, Uncle Joe and the Chairman were only mass murderers on a global scale. G Dubya represents to Europeans something far worse: Pax Americana fueled by Big Macs, gallons of Starbucks French roast coffee, and daily discounts at the local Wal-Mart. And all done without mandatory recycling. Can it get any worse?!
It came as quite a shock to the Europeans that Americans support the President and voted so many of the "wascally" Democrats out of office. "Don't you realize this means war with Iraq?" went the keening of the wimpy Europeans. "You betcha!" was my response. "And the sooner the better. How do I spell relief? R-e-g-i-m-e C-h-a-n-g-e."
You'd think the Europeans would love G Dubya. He's got all the right credentials: scion of as close to a landed aristocratic family as you'll get in the USA; earned degrees from both Yale and Harvard; the guy's even fluent in a foreign language. But no, the Europeans hate President Bush like they hate America. Why is this? Because deep in their heart of hearts, the Europeans know that President Bush and the United States are right and Europe is wrong.
FDR was right about the evils of Nazism; Ronald Reagan was right about the evils of communism; and George W. Bush is right about the evils of Muslim terrorism. Let's see, that's a batting average of 1000. Not bad.
So whom do the Europeans admire? Jimmy "Misery Index" Carter, Bill "It all depends on what the meaning of is, is" Clinton, and Lady Macbeth---I mean, Hillary Clinton.
So the Europeans are jealous of America's military, economic, cultural and moral superiority. So the Europeans don't like us. Big deal. Screw Europe. It is time for Americans to quit worrying about whether or not the devolved inhabitants of formerly important nations like us. A strong, confident, morally-assured America is a constant reminder to the Europeans of their centuries of failure. Nothing we do is ever going to make Europe like America. I would much prefer to have the Europeans fear America rather than love us. Europeans, Asians, Africans and South Americans will be less inclined to mischief making if they tremble before the might of the United States. And America will a far safer place if the rest of the world realizes that any misstep will be met with the full fury of the American military.
My advice to the Europeans? It's simple. Relax. If you behave yourselves you will have nothing to fear from America. Besides, we Americans are really nice people. So, Europeans, here's the deal. You continue to tremble and we'll continue to vote Republican.
Postscript: Larry Clark--American Hero
It's just like what Sam Elliott's character says in The Big Lebowski: "Sometimes there's a man." Well, my fellow Americans, this time that man is Larry Clark, the director of controversial films such as Kids and Another Day in Paradise. Last week, Mr. Clark was in London having dinner at a restaurant with the British distributor for his new film Ken Park. The limey pinko poofter film distributor launched into a diatribe on how happy he was about the 9/11 terrorist attacks and how America deserved what happened. Mr. Clark, exemplifying the can-do spirit that has made America the greatest nation in history, proceeded to open up a can of whupass on the film distributor, not only breaking the limey pinko poofter's nose in the process, but also smashing the dining table over the head of the ungrateful John Bull............
(Excerpt) Read more at iconoclast.ca ...
A strong, confident, morally-assured America is a constant reminder to European and American "Liberals" that their confusion, decadence, and moral and intellectual muddle condemn them to failure.
The clear vision, strength, confidence, moral assurance, energy, ascendancy, and strategic and moral clarity of the American Heartland and its personification, George Bush, remind them of their inadequacy, baffle them, and make them rankle with envy. No wonder they are so angry.
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