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To: All
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff.
Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you
like sports, she should keep the chips and dip coming.
Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they
grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it
all way before, and you get to find out later who
you're stuck with.
Kirsten, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know
the person FOREVER by then.
Camille, age 10

No age is good to get married at. You got to be
a fool to get married.
Freddie, age 6 (Very wise for his age)

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

You might have to guess, based on whether they
seem to be yelling at the same kids.
Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

Both don't want any more kids.
Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

Dates are for having fun, and people should use
them to get to know each other. Even boys have
something to say if you listen long enough.
Lynnette, age 8 (Isn't she a treasure)

On the first date, they just tell each other
lies and that usually gets them interested enough to
go for a second date.
Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would
call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about
me in all the dead columns.
Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

When they're rich.
Pam, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone,
then you should marry them and have kids with them.
It's the right thing to do.
Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you
one thing. I'm never going to have sex with my wife. I
don't want to be all grossed out.
Theodore, age 8

It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys
need someone to clean up after them.
Anita, age 9 (Bless you child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain,
wouldn't there?
Kelvin, age 8

"And the #1 Favourite is........"

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she
looks like a truck.
Ricky, age 10

237 posted on 11/12/2002 7:41:25 PM PST by LaDivaLoca
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To: All
THE SENILITY PRAYER

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones that I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Now that I'm older (but refuse to grow up) here's what I've discovered....

ONE - I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

TWO - My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.

THREE - I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.

FOUR - Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.

FIVE - All reports are in, life is now officially unfair.

SIX - If all is not lost, where is it?

SEVEN - It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

EIGHT - Some days you are the dog, some days you're the hydrant.

NINE - I wish the buck stopped here, I sure could use a few.

TEN - Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

ELEVEN - Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

TWELVE - It's hard to make a come back when you haven't been anywhere.

THIRTEEN - The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.

FOURTEEN - If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

FIFTEEN - When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?

SIXTEEN - It's not hard to meet expenses...they're everywhere.

SEVENTEEN - The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

EIGHTEEN - These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter...I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm hereafter.

NINETEEN - I AM UNABLE TO REMEMBER IF I HAVE MAILED THIS TO YOU BEFORE OR NOT.

241 posted on 11/12/2002 7:48:13 PM PST by LaDivaLoca
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To: LaDivaLoca
Diva, these are so funny. Out of the mouths of babes.
286 posted on 11/12/2002 10:09:01 PM PST by Kathy in Alaska
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