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The way it really works between men and women is that men decide which women they want, and women decide which man she wants from the pool of men who want her.

Regressing a step back on this, a woman needs to figure out what kind of man she wants to approach her, and then takes steps to discover how to make her existence known to these men

If you haven't taken the time to really reflect on what qualities your ideal mate should have, you're unlikely to recognise him when you see him. First you must name what you want. Visualize him in your own mind. Make sure you're being real here.

Then you have to decide that you really and truly want this person, and that you will welcome him when he arrives

When you've decided who he is, you can deduce where he will be, and go there. The deer hunter generally does not go galumphing through the forest looking for deer. He finds a deer trail that shows evidence of having been traveled by deer recently, picks a good spot to observe the trail, and waits for his deer to come by.

I think it's also very important to be yourself, and to be true to yourself.

When I was growing up, people would tell me to pretend I wasn't as intelligent as I am, because it would intimidate men. I did not listen to them, which is a good thing, because when I ask my husband what he likes about me, one of the first things he says is that I am intelligent.

I met my husband working for the college newspaper. He wrote music reviews, and I did layout and pasteup. I liked his musical taste and writing style, and thought he was cute, he thought I was beautiful and intelligent.

I had a crush on the photographer, but my husband-to-be kept chasing me, persistently, until I agreed to go out with him, and he did everything he could to show me that he was crazy about me.

It was uncharacteristic of him, because he's really shy.

He is a real gem, and I am lucky to have him.