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To: Utilizer
Are you really interested in an honest reply?

Well, yeah...I mean, I'm somewhat curious. You have to understand, my great-grandparents were immigrants from Spain and my great-grandmother, legend has it, really waited on my great-grandfather hand and foot as did a number of other women in the family for their husbands and brothers. My brothers try to exploit this (from me) and I'm just curious.... My own own grandmother read me the riot act once because I told my brother to go get his own beer.
556 posted on 10/31/2002 2:17:17 PM PST by Desdemona
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To: Desdemona
Right, then. Give Me a few minutes to formulate a suitably reflective reply, and I will try to summarize has honestly as I can.
557 posted on 10/31/2002 2:23:51 PM PST by Utilizer
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To: Desdemona
My own own grandmother read me the riot act once because I told my brother to go get his own beer.

Personally, I find that mindset just as offensive. My problem is the female mindset that assumes males are suppose to do or perform anything the woman wants done, but doesn't want to do herself. That, and the assumption that she gets to dictate what is "enough." (i.e. wants help with housework, but also wants to say what's clean enough.) You can ask me for help, or you can tell me what you want done...you can't have both.

I can live without a woman, and I don't want a woman who can't live without me.

558 posted on 10/31/2002 2:31:23 PM PST by Woahhs
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To: Desdemona
My experience has been with foreign national women from Japan, the Phillippines, Korea, Australia, and of course the states. I have also been involved with women from Spain, Mexico, Sweden, Ireland, Germany, and the U.K., but these were more individual experiences, so I will not include them in the generalization. American women seem to assume that the way to appear attractive to a man is to "be his equal". This is not correct. Men, while they do want a woman equal to them in certain areas, such as confidence, intelligence, and desires; someone who brazenly walks up to us and enthusiastically smacks us on the upper arm while simultaneously asking "hey, how's it hanging?" is not someone we immediately think of becoming intimate with. We expect our close male companions to occasionally act in this manner, not a potential partner. As well ask us to think of our male friends as an occasional partner (shudder)! When women act like our guy friends, why are they surprised when we respond to them in that manner?

Foriegn National women, by and large, have a totally different attitude. They are feminine without the american woman's arrogant attitude of "Hey, I'm feminine, Dude!" that so many women unconciously project. If you spend any time at all around them, you will see the males treating them totally different than the manner in which they treat american women. Foreign women know they are feminine, without needing to feel as if they need to swagger about it. Men respond to this, as it is in our instinct to respond in a gentlemenly manner when a demure, soft-spoken, and mannerly lass gives us a bit of her attention, and will strive mightily to give her the incentive to continue to do so.

When a foreign woman "waits on a man hand and foot", it is not in a self-effacing manner that they do so, nor do they carry some manner of unconcious attitude about being "forced" to so so. They realize that they are providing comfort to the other half of the partnership, who is living his life in some dis-comfort, i.e., WORK, to assure both of their survival, and that of their offspring. Where she is subservient in certain areas, and both assume he will either decide upon a matter, or if he needs advice will voluntarily seek out her council, she is absolute master in areas which she is most in a position to affect. Basically the household, the children, and their upbringing. Too, in Christian law, the Church does not see the woman as a separate entity, as evinced by the covering traditionally worn by women when they went to church. All recognized that in the eyes of the Lord, the woman and man were joined by the matrimonial vows into one being, both being complimentary halves of the whole. In the recent past, this was so much a part of society that even under Christian Law, the law did not see the woman as a separate entity, and her husband, father, brother, or closest male relative had to appear for her in court -and if she was guilty of wrongdoing, accept whatever punishment was meted out to her. By and large, however, only the most horrendous crimes forced a court to veer from this, or even find the woman at fault, and this sometimes caused some rather notable difficulties.

Foreign women are raised with this understanding, and treat their men with respect and dignity. Men, of course, respond to this in the same way. In today's day and age, this is so refreshingly different from the mindset that american women possess, that men respond to it as a desert flower to raindrops, and you would see many men becoming enchanted and attracted to these wonderful women. Even spending much time praising them while at the same time thanking them for being such as they were was something no one propted them to do, and this they did instinctively.

Does that explain it to you, I hope?

561 posted on 10/31/2002 3:14:31 PM PST by Utilizer
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