[Aracelis]

My ex was ordered to pay $50/week for our two daughters (he was making 60K/year as a PI). To relieve himself of that burden, he quit his job. At the time of our hearing, he owed my daughters 5K. The judge reduced that amount to zero as well because I was employed (in a minimum-wage job). He hired a great lawyer...I could not afford to hire one. The ruling stood, and I was given no recourse.

Although I must say, even after the years of poverty and struggle, I think my daughters and I have had the better end of the deal. He never bothered us again (he had threatened to kill all three of us over the measley $50/week), and hasn't seen his daughters in over 10 years.

[mvpel]

So what did the judge say when you pointed out that you were employed at a minimum wage job? What did he say when you pointed out that the $5k was a debt incurred when he had a job, and that normally quitting your job doesn't get you out of debts? What did he say when you asked how much your ex was paying the lawyer?

You don't have to be "given" a recourse in order to have one, or take one.

[Mamzelle]

re: Although I must say, even after the years of poverty and struggle, I think my daughters and I have had the better end of the deal. He never bothered us again (he had threatened to kill all three of us over the measley $50/week), and hasn't seen his daughters in over 10 years.))))

He's probably somewhere on FR's disgruntled divorced dad ping list. I can't believe there's support here for this idiot who burnt his car.

[Orangedog]

At the time of our hearing, he owed my daughters 5K.

Not to try and make lite of whatever you're situation was, but this the statement above, and one's just like it, is a real pet-peeve. Your children were not owed $5000, you were. Child support checks are not made out to "the children." The children are not legally entitled to have ANY child support collected spent on them. They are not entitled to any arreages collected after they become adults. Hell, the child support enforcement agencies refuse to even print "Money for the support of (child's name)" on the memo line of the checks that they send out.

I'm sorry to hear that you and your kids had a hard time with the situation. It just seems like the people who argue the most about keeping the kids out of the middle of the arguments usually have no problem with using those kids to demonize their father's.