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To: sinkspur
We may be talking about semantics here, but self-esteem means knowing yourself thoroughly, faults as well as strengths, and sharing the strengths, while working to overcome the faults.

That's better described as "self-confidence".

"Self-esteem", however, is (or at least has been co-opted as) an ersatz form of self-confidence. It's a kind of phony self-confidence that is not based on any real ability or merit, but instead is form of constant patting yourself on the back, whether it's deserve or not. Maybe even *especially* when it's not deserved.

It's satirized in the slogan of Al Franken's SNL character, Stuart Smalley: "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and gosh darn it people like me!". It's the self-conscious *forced* self-regard, the kind that becomes a practiced goal unto itself. It's someone who would rather learn to "feel good" about themselves than actually become someone worthy of genuine pride.

It's the liberal touchy-feely version of self-confidence, where how you *feel* about something is more important than what it actually *is*.

It's what leads to such Alice-in-Wonderland ideas as doing away with grades in school, and instead giving all the students gold stars for "trying" (even if they didn't) so that no one's feelings will be hurt and they'll all go home happy and full of "self-esteem".

No matter what "self-esteem" may have meant 100 years ago, it has long since been pirated by the "feel good about yourself even if you're a worthless bum" crowd who use that exact term as their ideal.

10 posted on 10/17/2002 7:34:43 PM PDT by Dan Day
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To: Dan Day
Thank god I was grown before they invented this crap. I never heard the words "self esteme" and my generation grew up just fine without all the garbage that goes on in todays society.
13 posted on 10/17/2002 7:42:57 PM PDT by dalereed
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To: Dan Day
It's a kind of phony self-confidence that is not based on any real ability or merit, but instead is form of constant patting yourself on the back, whether it's deserve or not. Maybe even *especially* when it's not deserved.

Well, that's not self-esteem. A person who truly knows his worth is also aware of his failings. These failings, however, don't cause a person of high self-esteem to hate himself; rather, he succeeds in spite of them and works to overcome them because he knows he can.

16 posted on 10/17/2002 7:48:33 PM PDT by sinkspur
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To: Dan Day
"Self-esteem", however, is (or at least has been co-opted as) an ersatz form of self-confidence.

Self confidence relates to what you think you are able to do. Self-esteem has to do with what you think you are worth, or what you think you deserve. Big distinction

I'm associated with a computerized dating service, and I think that there is a problem with excessive self esteem with many people -- like overweight middle-aged women who won't settle for anything less than a wealthy, handsome professional in excellent physical condition, or unemployed slobs who want to date Victoria's Secret models. Jeeze

The essence of criminality is excessive self-esteem, the feeling that, even though you're lazy and illiterate, you deserve more than what a McDonalds job will give you, and if the world won't give it to you, then you're gonna take it.

73 posted on 10/21/2002 3:23:34 PM PDT by SauronOfMordor
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