Court told of sex with traffic cone

scotsman.com ^ | today | AMY DEVINE

[Rodney King]

Court told of sex with traffic cone

AMY DEVINE

A MAN rolled about on the ground having sex with a traffic cone as stunned

youths watched in disbelief, a court heard yesterday.

Ross Watt, 33, had sex with the bollard only because he couldn’t get his hands on his favoured sex object - a pair of trainers. Watt had gone round teenager drivers gathered at an Edinburgh beauty spot asking if they would sell him their trainers.

But when they refused he turned his attention to the orange and white traffic cone and simulated sex with it. Watt was egged on by the crowd who shouted encouragement, urging him to "give it some".

Charles Robertson, 23, a mechanic, was one of about a dozen youths present on Calton Hill, when Watt made his bizarre request. Mr Robertson told Edinburgh Sheriff Court: "He first came along and spoke to us when we were in our cars.

"He approached us and asked if we had any shoes or trainers for sale. He was going from car to car asking this."

Watt, of Robertson Court, Edinburgh, then started rubbing his genitals up and down the traffic cone.

He said the incident carried on for about 15 or 20 minutes. Police were alerted to the late night incident on 3 September at Calton Hill and arrived to find Watt replacing a traffic cone by a gatepost just yards from the Scottish Executive’s St Andrew’s House.

His defence lawyer, Andy Gilbertson, suggested to Sheriff Mhairi Stephen that if his client had been performing at an Edinburgh Festival Fringe show and people were egging him on that it would have been acceptable, but then retracted his opinion.

Watt was found guilty of acting in a disorderly manner by simulating sexual intercourse with a traffic cone and placing members of the public in a state of fear and alarm on 3 September at Calton Hill and committing a breach of the peace.

Sheriff Stephen: "I take the view that the unpleasant and disgusting character of your behaviour that evening in a public area is behaviour that amounts to a breach of the peace."

Sentence was deferred for four weeks until reports are prepared.

[Nam Vet]

Where do you think the term 'Coyote Ugly' comes from?

Nam Vet

[ErnBatavia]

brings to mind Andrew Dice Clay...."Man, I got to have me some of THAT!"

[unixfox]

Is there a law against "cone humping"?

[Grampa Dave]

He could move to Kalifornia or Boston and then run successfully for a Congressit.

All he would have to do would be to use the pictures of his tryst with the Traffic Cones. The left wing perverts aka divesity its would swoon and vote for him.

[ErnBatavia]

[drjimmy]

Never Mind the Bollards! Here's the Sex Pistols!

[SunnyUsa]

He went from a sneaker to a traffic cone?

The man has no morals! lol

[Fzob]

Remind you of anybody?

[Billthedrill]

I have an alibi.

[Brett66]

That looks like Saddam.

[GraniteStateConservative]

Memo to self: Cancel vacation plans for Edinburgh Festival Fringe show.

Did you say that into your dictation machine like Norm Macdonald?

[harpseal]

I am wondering when San Francisco and New York City will demand mecial insurance for traffic cone domestic partners of employees.

Will the female Massachusettes candidate for Governor be for allowing people to marry their traffic cones.

Were the trainers (athletic shoes) jealous.

It is obvious this guy just went to the cones because he was missing his sole mate.

[Velveeta]

Don't cancel! It's a great show!

[Revelation 911]

Wacky Scotsmen, that is.

[Revelation 911]

sexy man sexy man

[martin_fierro]

Sheriff Mhairi Stephen

Pronounced like "Mary"? Or like "This kilt dunna cover M'Hairy legs, laddie"? <|:)~

[Non-Sequitur]

On the plus side, afterwards he wasn't forced to talk for an hour about 'the relationship'.

[martin_fierro]

"I'm dead sexy!"

[Consort]

Promiscuous cones can be seen on the streets of all major cities. They usually hang around construction sites.

[TrappedInLiberalHell]

Gives new meaning to the term "Cone-head".