[DoughtyOne]

I agree with almost all you say. When it comes to your kids, I believe in being nosey, if you have the slightest inclination that you need to be. It's not that you don't trust them. It's that sometimes you need to protect them from themselves. It's a dirty job, but someone needs to do it. Your kids may hate you for a while. In time they'll understand. You shouldn't make it obvious, but you should do whatever it takes.

[Search4Truth]

No your kids wont hate you, they will just mistrust you, which is worse. And that trust is not easily rebuilt. Don't be surprised when they start acting the same way.
Perhaps being more involved in our kid's lives would be a better solution than rummaging through their personal affects and violating their trust. What kind of lesson is that teaching them; That the end justifies the means or that two wrongs make a right?

My son trusts me. And I would never violate that trust.